[Misc] It's Not you, Its Me Literary Blind Spots

[McTavish]

The music thread got me thinking about writers who I should like, who other people like, but I just can't be doing with.

Stephen King: I have tried so many of his novels, I like some of the film adaptations. Each time I pick up one of his books thinking that maybe I will see what so many other people see I have to stop after a chapter or two. Boring, badly written shit every time. The fact that I really enjoyed Faithful, his co-written book about the Red Sox demonstrates that it's not personal.

Lee Childs: I just don't get it. There are any number of intelligent people who can't wait for the next Alex Rider novel. I love crime and thrillers; I hate Alex Rider. Apalling writing and stupid plots.

Richard Osman: My wife bought me his first novel for Christmas. I was really looking forward to it - I like almost everything that Richard Osman does...it was dire. Terrible writing which really needed a decent editor/punctation advisor; an entirely ridiculous, mawkish plot and an completely gratuitous mention of Haywards Heath. I stopped after four chapters before I tore the book apart making it useless for the charity shop.

Stephen Baxter: I am a fan of sci-fi; I am a fan of Terry Pratchett...a sci-fi novelist who collaborated with Terry Pratchett should be right in my zone; I hate everything that I have ever read of his (including the Pratchett stuff) - idiotic plots and more terrible writing.

Who else do sensible people love but you can't abide?

Shakespeare and Dan Brown are not allowed in this thread for a variety of reasons.

 

[The Clamp]

Agree with Stephen King. Just cannot get into his writing. It's no surprise to me that arguably the best film adaptation, The Shining, departed quite a lot from the source material and SK disowned the film as his work. The sequel film, Dr. Sleep was more faithful, which could explain why it was a clattering bore-fest.

I don't have many authors that I plain don't like. Even Kerouac had a readable book in Dharma Bums and Hunter S Thompson had Rum Diary. I tend to start reading a series of books and if they all start following the same format, I abandon them. Gets boring.

I tried to like the Peter James books as I like a good crime series (Colin Dexter's original Morse books are fantastic) but even in a genre that is quite forgiving of bad writing, James's novels are truly dire. Unreadable. Ludicrous.

The two writers that I think delivered consistently (to my tastes anyway) were F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Sun Also Rises is my favourite novella. I read it once a year I'd say.
And The Beautiful and Damned, what a book!

Ernest Hemingway was an argumentative writer but consistently good, IMO.

My "guilty pleasure" or should I say, palette cleanser when I've had enough of the classics or history books is any of that sort of thing written by Ant Middleton or Bear Grylls. And I quite like stuff written by ex-SAS people, you know the sort of thing. Easy to read. Guy Martin's stuff is good for that too.

I know that doesn't really answer your question but a good thread, thanks.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Lee Childs: I just don't get it. There are any number of intelligent people who can't wait for the next Alex Rider novel. I love crime and thrillers; I hate Alex Rider. Apalling writing and stupid plots.

Are you thinking of Lee Child who wrote the Jack Reacher books?

You are correct, you definitely didn’t get it…..

 

[GT49er]

Charles Dickens is f***** hard work. Tried reading Nicholas Nickleby to my daughter once- am convinced that Dickens' only objective in writing that twaddle was to get in the Guiness Book of World Records for writing the longest sentence ever written (James Joyce excepted of course)

 

[Invicta]

The music thread got me thinking about writers who I should like, who other people like, but I just can't be doing with.

Stephen King: I have tried so many of his novels, I like some of the film adaptations. Each time I pick up one of his books thinking that maybe I will see what so many other people see I have to stop after a chapter or two. Boring, badly written shit every time. The fact that I really enjoyed Faithful, his co-written book about the Red Sox demonstrates that it's not personal.

Lee Childs: I just don't get it. There are any number of intelligent people who can't wait for the next Alex Rider novel. I love crime and thrillers; I hate Alex Rider. Apalling writing and stupid plots.

Richard Osman: My wife bought me his first novel for Christmas. I was really looking forward to it - I like almost everything that Richard Osman does...it was dire. Terrible writing which really needed a decent editor/punctation advisor; an entirely ridiculous, mawkish plot and an completely gratuitous mention of Haywards Heath. I stopped after four chapters before I tore the book apart making it useless for the charity shop.

Stephen Baxter: I am a fan of sci-fi; I am a fan of Terry Pratchett...a sci-fi novelist who collaborated with Terry Pratchett should be right in my zone; I hate everything that I have ever read of his (including the Pratchett stuff) - idiotic plots and more terrible writing.

Who else do sensible people love but you can't abide?

Shakespeare and Dan Brown are not allowed in this thread for a variety of reasons.

Not read Alex Rider novel, apparently by Anthony Horowitz. I like Jack Reacher novels though, read all bar the latest. Amazon series good too.

 

[The Clamp]

Charles Dickens is f***** hard work. Tried reading Nicholas Nickleby to my daughter once- am convinced that Dickens' only objective in writing that twaddle was to get in the Guiness Book of World Records for writing the longest sentence ever written (James Joyce excepted of course)

This. Christ! They're a slog.

 

[B-right-on]

George RR Martin. Was really into the GOT series a few years ago and I thought I'd try the books. I thought the first half of the first one was a hard slog, slow and a grind. Didn't get any further.

Read almost all of the Jack Reacher books. Was great to start with and enjoyed the first half dozen, but then they seemed to get very 'samey': lone drifter goes into a town, gets in trouble, beats up a few baddies and kills a few more, finds a woman to shag and then leaves.

 

[hart's shirt]

Had the real pleasure of meeting Anthony Horowitz back in 2005 at a London book signing session of Ark Angel in 2005.

The queue, predominantly boys and men, was over 2 hours long. I thought I'd wait until the end to get a few minutes with him.

As someone's who's taught English at both Primary and Secondary, he's done more to get boys reading fiction since Dahl.

He's penned YA thrillers, horror and fantasy. He's contributed scripts for Foyle's War, Midsomer Murders and Poirot.

And he's written Bond.


As for the original question, my ire goes to celebrities who feel called to write children's books irrespective of discernible writing talent.

Whilst a few like David Walliams add real value, many seem little more than famous people ticking legacy items off their bucket lists.

Like any craft, good writing takes time to learn and perfect. Not everyone can do it well. Popularity is no indicator of quality.

And it definitely shouldn't be seen as easy because it's for children.

 

[keaton]

Agree with Dickens.

Also Ready Player One, 5/6 of my mates loved it, I got about 100 pages on poorly written, bad sci fi full of lists of retro things before giving up

 

[Goldstone1976]

The vast majority of Tolkien. [ducks for cover and runs away]

While I truly loved The Hobbit, I’ve never got on with LOTR. I’ve tried at least 5 times and never got past the bit in book one where they arrive at the first inn. It’s just so slow: 100 pages for 3 or 4 blokes to travel a few miles from their home town to a pub in a neighbouring village. I mean, come on.

 

[McTavish]

Are you thinking of Lee Child who wrote the Jack Reacher books?

You are correct, you definitely didn’t get it…..

Whoops! In my defence, wine had been taken...

 

[Coxovi]

Great thread. Worst thing about a bad book for me is that I force myself to finish them, can be a bit painful…

John Updike - celebrated author featuring the most pathetic, whiny main characters of all time. Suffered through Rabbit, Run and never again.

José Saramago - Blindness made me wish I was..

Ian Mcewan - suffered through Enduring Love, see Updike, John.

All three are good writers, but their stories and characters were tedious beyond belief.

 

[MattBackHome]

I guess I'm not alone in not getting Joyce.

And I know its not in the spirit of the thread but I have to defend Dickens, who is sublime in every way. And Lee Childs is great as well.

 

[Guinness Boy]

The vast majority of Tolkien. [ducks for cover and runs away]

While I truly loved The Hobbit, I’ve never got on with LOTR. I’ve tried at least 5 times and never got past the bit in book one where they arrive at the first inn. It’s just so slow: 100 pages for 3 or 4 blokes to travel a few miles from their home town to a pub in a neighbouring village. I mean, come on.

I probably get turned off more by genres and individual books than actual writers. I can't stand fantasy or horror books and only got to page 2 of Life of Pi for example. But I blame Tolkien for much of that. Overrated and boring. I've never lasted more than five minutes of the films either.

Like you I fully expect a flaming any time now.

 

[raymondo]

Had the real pleasure of meeting Anthony Horowitz back in 2005 at a London book signing session of Ark Angel in 2005.

The queue, predominantly boys and men, was over 2 hours long. I thought I'd wait until the end to get a few minutes with him.

As someone's who's taught English at both Primary and Secondary, he's done more to get boys reading fiction since Dahl.

He's penned YA thrillers, horror and fantasy. He's contributed scripts for Foyle's War, Midsomer Murders and Poirot.

And he's written Bond.


As for the original question, my ire goes to celebrities who feel called to write children's books irrespective of discernible writing talent.

Whilst a few like David Walliams add real value, many seem little more than famous people ticking legacy items off their bucket lists.

Like any craft, good writing takes time to learn and perfect. Not everyone can do it well. Popularity is no indicator of quality.

And it definitely shouldn't be seen as easy because it's for children.

"...many seem little more than famous people ticking legacy items off their bucket lists." Brilliant, thank you

 

[monty uk]

While I truly loved The Hobbit, I’ve never got on with LOTR. I’ve tried at least 5 times and never got past the bit in book one where they arrive at the first inn. It’s just so slow: 100 pages for 3 or 4 blokes to travel a few miles from their home town to a pub in a neighbouring village. I mean, come on.

Bit like getting to the Amex on a Saturday afternoon.

 

[portlock seagull]

The Bible.

 

[mikeyjh]

Harry Potter. You're not 13, read an adult book.

On a more high brow note, I'm trying to get read my way through the 'classics', I am very much struggling with Catch-22, it is not one I'll be picking up a second time.

 

[jakarta]

Had to post this. How many of you have read this lot? I have hardly read one, although have watched many TV/film adaptations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPzS91gGzLM

As an aside I read (almost all of) War and Peace during a 28 hour trip to Australia a few years back.

Oh Dickens, Joyce and Hardy.

William Burroughs is a barrel of Laughs...

 

[bhafc99]

Another vote for:
- Celebrities churning out children’s books.
- Tolkien, and most of that genre.

For some reason I’ve never been able to get into Zadie Smith’s work. I know she’s a great writer and talent, but for some unknown reason it doesn’t work for me.

Most bile is reserved for crap lazy autobiographies, however, inevitably timed for the Christmas “this will do” book buyer and almost always dull and uninteresting PR jobs with no real insight. Increased points for those ‘authors’ now onto their third or fourth lifetime “autobiography” - ie see the shelf for Price, Katie.