[Brighton] Is Portslade any fun?

[marlowe]

To give you an insight of the attitude of some to Portslade... when residents of Hove are asked if they are from Brighton they often respond, "Hove actually". This response was turned into a catchphrase because of the peceived snobbery of Hove residents who view Hove as slightly more upmarket than Brighton. The "Hove actually" catchprase then started to appear on local tourist souvenirs such as postcards and tea towels.

Then some wag decided it would be amusing to produce a Portslade variation on the theme as shown below...

 

[Badger Boy]

Buster's leaving The Battle of Trafalgar. Therefore, Portslade is very much like Ian Beale. It has nothing left.

 

[jackalbion]

I agree you don’t have to live in south Ken , but Greenwich , Hackney for example both have serious issues with gangs going around attacking each other with knives . Not really the environment I would want to live in . Walthamstow also is quite rough judging on the met police stats . What I don’t get is these places are not cheap to live in , there are far safer less expensive areas in London to live in albeit a bit further out .

A few of my friends live in Hackney and they haven't been stabbed and there is in my experience of visiting very little more street violence than there is in Brighton for example, also judging Walthamstow solely on police stats is silly, its not the roughest place I've ever been.

 

[Guinness Boy]

I used to go to Portslade a lot and there was quite a rowdy pub just by the station. I saw someone glassed in there once and made a run for it. I'm sure the police were called and I didn't want to be a hero - spineless I know but it was nobody I knew and didn't know the circumstances - so I don't judge Portslade by that one bad incident.

The shops were ok, people seemed friendly - well, friendlier than Haywards Heath. Too many middle-class wannabees here. Must admit Hove has always seemed very pleasant which is somewhere I wouldn't mind living.

Luckily it's now full of lesbian families shoving gluten free ice cream into their toddlers' mushes whilst chucking prosecco and "dirty" vegan food into their own.

What's not to love?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Those flats were part of my paper round in the early 70s
@<u><a href="https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/member.php?u=38333" target="_blank">Swansman</a></u>, in case you hadn't guessed, GB is trying to put you off, horrified that he might bump into you while he's out on his skateboard, or walking the Doberman.

I lived in Portslade from 1963 till I went to uni in 76, and then on and off (holidays) till 79. My little brother still lives there so I visit from time to time.

The parts north of the Old Shoreham Road are a big lump of 1950s semi detached houses, many with loft extensions, many with the front garden turned into parking spaces for the white van, with a new tranche of 1990s housing to the North, in what were fields when I was a lad. Then there is the Old Village (which has next to nothing in it except the imposing Le Carbone factory which is now flats). Beyond that is Mile Oak, which is just dull housing. Of all of that, the area round East Hill park is OK suburbia, albeit East Hill drive is unattractive former council houses and the road a rat run.

South of the Old Shoreham Road is older, lots of Victorian terraced housing, pokey roads, and then the long shopping street, which has three names depending which part (or even side) you are on: Carlton Terrace; Boundary Road; Station Road - and this divides Portslade from Hove. There is a station there where the likes of me and @<u><a href="https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/member.php?u=37530" target="_blank">monty uk</a></u> would schlep into Brighton in search of elusive flesh pots and excitement.

All in all there were (and probably are) no amenities to speak of. Easthill Park is nice (especially if you a connoisseur of dog shit). There is a good walk up over the downs to the Shephard and Dog pub in Fulking (http://shepherdanddogpub.co.uk/), but it's quite a schlep and I can see you walking back after chucking out time and dying of exposure, dangling where your parka snagged on stray barbed wire fencing. You can walk down Boundry road to get to the sea, and the promenade there is nice (you may well bump into GB there, skateboarding or walking his Doberman).

Would I move back there again? No. Certainly not.

By March I'll have trained the Doberman to use the skateboard so he can eat intruders even quicker whilst looking kinda hip.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

One thing I will say Swansman, jumping from Lund and Göteborg to Portslade will be a massive culture shock! But, as others have said, it's very close to Brighton and I'm sure you'd spend most of your time there.


Also a Swedish group on Facebook if you're feeling like speaking Swedish to people whilst you're there: https://www.facebook.com/groups/726354284054408/


Oavsett, njut av det!

Or in his native Welsh;

mwynhewch yr hyn rydych chi'n ei fwynhau ac osgoi'r hyn nad ydych chi'n ei wneud

 

[Chicken Run]

If the Swede wants to settle in Portslade and have children he can go to the Railway Pub in Station Road and Sub Contract the childcare to other patron’s whilst he ignores them and sinks a bottle of Chardonnay, if he wants a Cock a poo he can take that in to and let it roam freely round the bar annoying people !!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

No, it's shit

You have been saying for ages that is up and coming! . . . what went wrong?

 

[Brovion]

Didn't Terry Garoghan mention Portslade in one of his spoof 'Last bus to Whitehawk' songs?

(To the tune of 'Go West!')
Main singer: "Portslade! Is really very nice!"
Backing singers: "**** off! No one goes there twice!"

Never been the same since they knocked down the gasworks.

 

[Guinness Boy]

In fact, just for Swanny, here's a guide to the Portslade pubs:

The Stanley - Real Ale pub full of nice elderly people
The Railway - overpriced booze, drunk middle aged women and their offspring, trendy food of variable quality, used to have some good nights in the upstairs bar though
The Blue Anchor - half restaurant serving the best Thai food for several dozen square miles, half shit lager, fights and pool table. Odd.
The Battle - you will probably die if you drink here
The Vic - you will definitely die if you drink here
The Stag and The George - not sure if both still open. Go with a local or else. May actually be one pub with two entrances
The Foghorn - great beer, excellent snacks, friendly locals, alternative type Brighton fan bar people, absolutely psychotic hatred of Swedes, as previously mentioned.

*runs off to look for a good lawyer*

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

To give you an insight of the attitude of some to Portslade... when residents of Hove are asked if they are from Brighton they often respond, "Hove actually". This response was turned into a catchphrase because of the peceived snobbery of Hove residents who view Hove as slightly more upmarket than Brighton. The "Hove actually" catchprase then started to appear on local tourist souvenirs such as postcards and tea towels.

Then some wag decided it would be amusing to produce a Portslade variation on the theme as shown below...

View attachment 143480

lol l love it.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Didn't Terry Garoghan mention Portslade in one of his spoof 'Last bus to Whitehawk' songs?

(To the tune of 'Go West!')
Main singer: "Portslade! Is really very nice!"
Backing singers: "**** off! No one goes there twice!"

Never been the same since they knocked down the gasworks.

Only in the video I've already posted on this thread

 

[The red pepper kid]

By March I'll have trained the Doberman to use the skateboard so he can eat intruders even quicker whilst looking kinda hip.

Had a couple of Dobermans , they are loving dogs , but have a tendency to chase pigeons and seagulls .
Portslade is average - good enough for a base , Mile Oak is better - theres no beggars on the main drag !

 

[raymondo]

Brilliant

 

[Bold Seagull]

In fact, just for Swanny, here's a guide to the Portslade pubs:

The Stanley - Real Ale pub full of nice elderly people
The Railway - overpriced booze, drunk middle aged women and their offspring, trendy food of variable quality, used to have some good nights in the upstairs bar though
The Blue Anchor - half restaurant serving the best Thai food for several dozen square miles, half shit lager, fights and pool table. Odd.
The Battle - you will probably die if you drink here
The Vic - you will definitely die if you drink here
The Stag and The George - not sure if both still open. Go with a local or else. May actually be one pub with two entrances
The Foghorn - great beer, excellent snacks, friendly locals, alternative type Brighton fan bar people, absolutely psychotic hatred of Swedes, as previously mentioned.

*runs off to look for a good lawyer*

The Stags Head is run by Jim who was Fishersgate Flyers fixtures secretary for a good many years. Still open, he's been putting on lots of live music, quiz nights etc. turning into a very good night out. He's made a real effort with what garden space they have too. It is completely separate from the George. It's a really decent place to have a drink.

 

[Brovion]

Only in the video I've already posted on this thread

Sorry! Skimmed through the thread before I posted but managed to miss it.

 

[Guinness Boy]

The Stags Head is run by Jim who was Fishersgate Flyers fixtures secretary for a good many years. Still open, he's been putting on lots of live music, quiz nights etc. turning into a very good night out. He's made a real effort with what garden space they have too. It is completely separate from the George. It's a really decent place to have a drink.

Excellent. Was somewhat different on my last visit which, I admit, was probably around 1999.

 

[BN9 BHA]

No, it's shit

New best friend

 

[studio150]

Amazing how many posters have little or no understanding of the boundaries and geography of Portslade.

Just a few examples, moving the Railway Inn from Station Road to Boundary Road, and therefore into Hove from Portslade, overlooking the fact that you can get to the South Downs directly from Portslade and don't need to venture into Mile Oak or Hangleton........

And no mentions of the pizza options which surely [MENTION=38333]Swansman[/MENTION] would be interested in.

 

[Boroseagull]

The Stags Head is run by Jim who was Fishersgate Flyers fixtures secretary for a good many years. Still open, he's been putting on lots of live music, quiz nights etc. turning into a very good night out. He's made a real effort with what garden space they have too. It is completely separate from the George. It's a really decent place to have a drink.

Good to hear The Stags Head still exists. It was our. very occasional, local when we got married in 1967 and bought our first house, 27 North Road, Portslade. There was this old dear that fed sixpences (ask an older person what they were) into the fruit machine and mumble and grumble she had nothing left so went home. You should have seen the scramble to get to the machine to empty it We spent 5 years living there before moving up to Hertfordshire but actually have fond memories of the place.