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1066gull
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- #21
Thanks.you got issues, brudda.
Thanks.you got issues, brudda.
I didn't know how to respond, I just slurred everything even about my eyes and how they were feeling.
I watched Finding Sarah Marshall last night which is brilliant, and even that couldn't give me any ideas. No I am not good, but I am not terrible either.
F*** me ! Uncle ,you've had extra Weetabix this morning or have you OD'd on St. Johns Wort ?
Two words; date rape
Don't you mean sturggle snuggle.
She's an optitionist and I have taken regular appointments for contact lenses.
I've deliberately taken longer than usual.
She just introduced herself as Maria like on the fifth visit this morning and I was slurring my words big time because of it.
What does NSC recommend?
I'm certain she must be a recent graduate or something as she looks fantastically young like in her twenties.
Just remember 1066, it's not rape if you shout SURPRISE just before you cum.
I thought it was before insertion? We need to get a definitive answer to this, someone could get in a lot of trouble otherwise.
I didn't know how to respond, I just slurred everything even about my eyes and how they were feeling.
I watched Finding Sarah Marshall last night which is brilliant, and even that couldn't give me any ideas. No I am not good, but I am not terrible either.
* delete as necessary
Birds love a bit of smutty humour. Next time you see her act real confident and refer to her as "doll" or "darlin" and give her arse a little slap. Not too hard, mind. Just a pat and when she turns round give her the wink and deliberately look her up and down before telling her you'd love to jump her bones.
She will initially play hard to get and act offended. Don't worry about that, it's all part of the game. You've now let her know you're interested. Over the next few times you see her, a friendly wolf whistle will keep her attention. Try a few smutty emails too. Nothing too rude. Just hints of what she could expect.
Then play the romance card. Get some flowers for her, no need to go to a bit expense. The garage will have them or even better look out for some taped to a lamppost near a busy junction. Leave the card in them as it adds to the mystery.
Over the next few days bombard her with texts and emails, leaving her in no doubt that you're thinking of her. You could be the true Valentino by emailing photos that you've secretly taken of her as she leaves her house in the morning. When she knows that you're looking out for her as her protector she will be putty in your hands.
Now for the piece de resistance. Pop along to Ann Summers and buy some raunchy underwear. Crotchless knickers and a peephole bra will do fine. Next, call on her at home one time. Make it late, 2 in the morning is perfect as she will be in pyjamas. When she opens the door and sees you, undo your coat to reveal you wearing the sexy undies. Then laugh and tell her that you bought them for her and you'd like her to take them off you and put them on hereself.
Guaranteed to work. In fact, if it doesn't, I'll give you £50.
Good luck.