Is a FINANCIAL incentive for kids morally WRONG ?

[Easy 10]

Easy 8 got a right bollocking last week off me because he got a 30 minute DT in History for being disruptive in class and talking (his mate got the same). He was grounded for a couple of evenings. I've just gone spacko again tonight because cos he got ANOTHER one today, for basically the same thing, this time in English.

The thing is, he's also been doing really well in other lessons. His planner has got little sticky merits in it with glowing compliments from his teachers for good work, joining in well with class discussions, that kind of stuff, which I am really pleased and proud of. But then he undoes it all with a stupid DT for basically twatting about.

Now I'm considering an idea I've had about totalling up his merits at the end of the week, and for every merit (and he can sometimes gets 6 or 7), paying him a quid for each one. BUT - if he gets so much as one DT, he wipes out all his good work and gets NO CASH whatsoever at the end of the week.

I'm not 100% sure about this yet. In an ideal world, kids shouldn't NEED a financial incentive to behave and knuckle down. But I'm tired of lecturing him about it. He's full of remorse and promises at the time, but a week later we're back to square one. Maybe if he knows its actually going to hit him in the pocket, it might just focus him a little more to drop the odd bit of dopey behaviour that lands him in trouble. Wotcha fink ? Easy 8 is 18 by the way.





(kidding - he's just turned 12)

 

[Hiney]

Sounds good to me easy.

Maybe a 50% drop in the money for 1 DT then a full REMOVAL for another one.

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

It's only morally WRONG cos I never got one and I was WELL well behaved at school.

You see, if he wasn't acting up in the first place, you wouldn't be THINKING about bunging him good-behaviour cash, WOULDJA?

:couldhavemadeamint:

 

[REDLAND]

perhaps he needs something interesting to stimulate his mind on a Saturday

and Sunday !!

 

[maffew]

Easy 8 got a right bollocking last week off me because he got a 30 minute DT in History for being disruptive in class and talking (his mate got the same). He was grounded for a couple of evenings. I've just gone spacko again tonight because cos he got ANOTHER one today, for basically the same thing, this time in English.

The thing is, he's also been doing really well in other lessons. His planner has got little sticky merits in it with glowing compliments from his teachers for good work, joining in well with class discussions, that kind of stuff, which I am really pleased and proud of. But then he undoes it all with a stupid DT for basically twatting about.

Now I'm considering an idea I've had about totalling up his merits at the end of the week, and for every merit (and he can sometimes gets 6 or 7), paying him a quid for each one. BUT - if he gets so much as one DT, he wipes out all his good work and gets NO CASH whatsoever at the end of the week.

I'm not 100% sure about this yet. In an ideal world, kids shouldn't NEED a financial incentive to behave and knuckle down. But I'm tired of lecturing him about it. He's full of remorse and promises at the time, but a week later we're back to square one. Maybe if he knows its actually going to hit him in the pocket, it might just focus him a little more to drop the odd bit of dopey behaviour that lands him in trouble. Wotcha fink ? Easy 8 is 18 by the way.





(kidding - he's just turned 12)

sounds fair to me I reckon. Wipe the lot out for a DT And maybe a little bonus for TEN merits

 

[Easy 10]

Sounds good to me easy.

Maybe a 50% drop in the money for 1 DT then a full REMOVAL for another one.

Thats a very good shout actually Hiney. Otherwise if he picks up a DT on Monday, he's got no financial incentive to pick up his merits for the rest of the week has he. Good thinking.

perhaps he needs something interesting to stimulate his mind on a Saturday

and Sunday !!

Hmmm...he ain't gonna get that at WITHDEAN is he.

 

[Marty McFly]

Does he get pocket money?

Just deduct from that every time he gets a detention?

 

[maffew]

Thats a very good shout actually Hiney. Otherwise if he picks up a DT on Monday, he's got no financial incentive to pick up his merits for the rest of the week has he. Good thinking.

thats a good point also

maybe 50% loss for 1 DT, 100 % loss for 2, 50% bonus for 10 or something

christ I got somthing like 50p a week till I was 14, only 29 now!!

 

[Starry]

Holy crap I just typed a whole long reply to this and Romilly wiped it out. Bloody kid, that is her pocket money docked forever.

The short version is - if his language is money then I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

If it's not and he doesn't really care about having pennies in his pocket you are probably going to be wasting your time. My son is a little younger than Easy 8 and while we have never done financial consequences (I am pretty anti paying my kids LOL) he wouldn't respond to that sort of consequence at all. Just not that sort of child, if Easy 8 is and wants to have more money then I'd give it a whirl.

 

[Kukev31]

To be honest I wouldn't worry to much about a couple of detentions for this sort of thing. He's just being a kid and having a laugh with his mates. It sounds like he wors hard in general and will do well at school. It's not like he is being rude or obnoxious or anything like that.

 

[Easy 10]

Holy crap I just typed a whole long reply to this and Romilly wiped it out. Bloody kid, that is her pocket money docked forever.

The short version is - if his language is money then I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

If it's not and he doesn't really care about having pennies in his pocket you are probably going to be wasting your time. My son is a little younger than Easy 8 and while we have never done financial consequences (I am pretty anti paying my kids LOL) he wouldn't respond to that sort of consequence at all. Just not that sort of child, if Easy 8 is and wants to have more money then I'd give it a whirl.

He LOVES money - he has a paper round, mainly saving it up for his PSP / PS2 games, so he knows the value of money and would be well happy at the extra cash if he can earn it through his school work.

 

[Easy 10]

To be honest I wouldn't worry to much about a couple of detentions for this sort of thing. He's just being a kid and having a laugh with his mates. It sounds like he wors hard in general and will do well at school. It's not like he is being rude or obnoxious or anything like that.

You see, now you've said that, you've played straight into my "am I being too hard on him ?" paranoia...is it really THAT big a deal, or should I do as much as poss to try to stamp out this behaviour ?

Gawd.

 

[chip]

He LOVES money - he has a paper round, mainly saving it up for his PSP / PS2 games, so he knows the value of money and would be well happy at the extra cash if he can earn it through his school work.

Rather than try and bribe him, why not remove his PSP/PS2 access for a couple of days for each DT.

What is a DT by the way, a de-merit?

 

[Frutos]

What is a DT by the way, a de-merit?

Detention, I think.

 

[Easy 10]

Rather than try and bribe him, why not remove his PSP/PS2 access for a couple of days for each DT.

What is a DT by the way, a de-merit?

Oh come on Chip, don't tell me you don't know DT means DeTention...or were you THAT good at school, Mr Swotty ?

We've done the removal of PSP / PS2 / TV / DVD. Works to an extent, but I still want to REWARD him when he does well. I think this way he gets a clear and direct incentive.

 

[Starry]

We don't do financial consequences because I don't agree with rewarding my children with money for things I expect them to do. But no, I don't think you are being too hard on him, at all. heck, you are giving him money and giving him the opportunity to earn the right to keep it. My son spends his life telling me I am really strict and mean, maybe I am. But I wouldn't tolerate him disrupting a class twice. He'd have had to fix his wrongs the first time and he'd be in deep do do if he came home the following week having done the same thing.

 

[Frutos]

Has he had detentions before Easy, or are these two his first ones?

In the grand scheme of things, a couple of 30 minute detentions here and there is not the end of the world, you just need to be careful that it's not allowed to escalate beyond that into more serious offences than messing around in class, which I'm sure we all did at school at least once.

 

[Easy 10]

He's had DT's before, these are by no means his first. It DOES strike me that it seems rather easy to get a DT there, but that said, I want him to cut out the crap now before (as you say Frutos) it escualtes.

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

Has he had detentions before Easy, or are these two his first ones?

In the grand scheme of things, a couple of 30 minute detentions here and there is not the end of the world, you just need to be careful that it's not allowed to escalate beyond that into more serious offences than messing around in class, which I'm sure we all did at school at least once.

Yeah, even i had 3 DT's in the 5 years i was at secondary school!!! 1 was a 10 minute, and the others were 20 minutes.


I was a rebel me

 

[Frutos]

Yeah, even i had 3 DT's in the 5 years i was at secondary school!!! 1 was a 10 minute, and the others were 20 minutes.


I was a rebel me

Sounds like you were an EVIL child, judging by that disciplinary record.