[Albion] Inevitabilities

[attila]

I wrote this to get it off my chest! Still think we'll probably be OK .

I tend to celebrate the fact that we have got nine-elevenths of the team playing so beautifully in the PL rather than two elevenths are so useless/unlucky (your choice)
If I am going to 'apportion blame' for the latter I'd say a) the recruitment team except that
b) top strikers simply don't want to play for teams outside the top 6. None of the bottom half have bought any better: if they are better up front it is because their home grown strikers are better than ours.
None we have produced ourselves are quite good enough for the very, very high standard we are playing at.
I don't actually think there is anything more we can do except carry on playing the football and hope the stats even out. I think they will.


INEVITABILITIES

Orange juice is orange
Bowie was a star
Sea water is salty
And we’ll hit the bar

Flounders live on seabeds
I don’t believe in ghosts
Donald Trump’s a dickhead
And we’ll hit both posts

Johnson is a spaffer
Eggs come from a hen
Vaccination’s working
And we’ll miss a pen

I like beer and chocolate
Coal came from a mine
Attenborough’s a hero
They’ll clear it off the line

Adders are quite venomous
Bankers serve their class
Lockdown started too late
He’ll save it with his arse

Cycling makes your legs strong
Palace aren’t my besties
I can’t play the piano
He’ll save it with his testes

Bloody hell, it’s in the net!
Dunk’s kick was precise....
Naturally, it’s disallowed!
Ref *blew the whistle twice*.

And of course the closure
To this pointless rhyme -
It goes without saying
They’ll score in stoppage time.

Except that Man United
Prolongs this sad epistle
Because they scored their winner
After the final whistle....

So, back to the Championship
With my pint and pie
Football on a Saturday
Where the stats don’t lie.

 

[Peteinblack]

I'm actually imagining that ditty written and sung to the tune of 'Star' (on the Ziggy Stardust album)

 

[raymondo]

I wrote this to get it off my chest! Still think we'll probably be OK .

I tend to celebrate the fact that we have got nine-elevenths of the team playing so beautifully in the PL rather than two elevenths are so useless/unlucky (your choice)
If I am going to 'apportion blame' for the latter I'd say a) the recruitment team except that
b) top strikers simply don't want to play for teams outside the top 6. None of the bottom half have bought any better: if they are better up front it is because their home grown strikers are better than ours.
None we have produced ourselves are quite good enough for the very, very high standard we are playing at.
I don't actually think there is anything more we can do except carry on playing the football and hope the stats even out. I think they will.


INEVITABILITIES

Orange juice is orange
Bowie was a star
Sea water is salty
And we’ll hit the bar

Flounders live on seabeds
I don’t believe in ghosts
Donald Trump’s a dickhead
And we’ll hit both posts

Johnson is a spaffer
Eggs come from a hen
Vaccination’s working
And we’ll miss a pen

I like beer and chocolate
Coal came from a mine
Attenborough’s a hero
They’ll clear it off the line

Adders are quite venomous
Bankers serve their class
Lockdown started too late
He’ll save it with his arse

Cycling makes your legs strong
Palace aren’t my besties
I can’t play the piano
He’ll save it with his testes

Bloody hell, it’s in the net!
Dunk’s kick was precise....
Naturally, it’s disallowed!
Ref *blew the whistle twice*.

And of course the closure
To this pointless rhyme -
It goes without saying
They’ll score in stoppage time.

Except that Man United
Prolongs this sad epistle
Because they scored their winner
After the final whistle....

So, back to the Championship
With my pint and pie
Football on a Saturday
Where the stats don’t lie.

A brilliant ditty! Thanks for the laugh

 

[Pint of Ale and a Burger]

I'm actually imagining that ditty written and sung to the tune of 'Star' (on the Ziggy Stardust album)

Thats cool.
I saw the lyrics fitting to the tune of pinball Wizard by the who.
It's fantastic lyrics anyway,well done the OP.

 

[zefarelly]

I'm actually imagining that ditty written and sung to the tune of 'Star' (on the Ziggy Stardust album)

having been playing that song on bass recently I think it works . . . . great bass line too.

 

[zeemeeuw]

Brighton is Bohemiam
Croydon is a Sh1thole
Cut one back to Connolly
and he'll miss an open
goal.

 

[schmunk]

A Haiku:

Surely we have this
Just hold on, we always draw;
Fucķ sake not again

 

[Insel affe]

Excellent Surf attila, you made me think of Spike and my favorite poem.

"Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!"


my offering
Hark now hear the Brighton sing,
It seems we will never score (again!),
And we will moan forever more,
Because of VAR...

 

[Pint of Ale and a Burger]

Roses are red,
And Lemons give juice,
We play magic football,
But often wheel loose.

 

[MTSeagulls]

Posh spice was a slapper
She once gave me a boner
and while she's shagging Beckham
They'll score from every corner

 

[Mackenzie]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
We’re going down
Bollocks.

 

[spongy]

Thats cool.
I saw the lyrics fitting to the tune of pinball Wizard by the who.
It's fantastic lyrics anyway,well done the OP.

I tried to fit it to that as well.

Are there any chants out there to that tune? I cant think of any that spring to mind. It's quick enough for us

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

That is genius, John

And I nearly destroyed the screen of my laptop when I read:

"Cycling makes your legs strong
Palace aren’t my besties
I can’t play the piano
He’ll save it with his testes"

I've not laughed, in the same way, so much since I first heard this back in the day:

If If you dare to mention '****' then you'll be out of luck
If there's a whiff of vomit, then you'll get nothing from it
If there's a hint of genitalia, then your'e doomed to certain failure
And since I've said all three, they won't be playing me.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I hate to disappoint people but the tune to which the ditty maps is 'My old man's a dustman'

 

[GT49er]

....

 

[GT49er]

I hate to disappoint people but the tune to which the ditty maps is 'My old man's a dustman'

I'm actually imagining that ditty written and sung to the tune of 'Star' (on the Ziggy Stardust album)

I was humming along quite nicely to both of them to 'I Vow to thee my Country' actually. Needed stretching a bit in places, but could be a smash hit, no?

 

[BN9 BHA]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
We’re going down
Bollocks.

My sort of poem.

 

[Pint of Ale and a Burger]

I tried to fit it to that as well.

Are there any chants out there to that tune? I cant think of any that spring to mind. It's quick enough for us

I often think pinball Wizard would be good tune for us to put a chant too,mainly because of the "Soho down to brighton"line in the song.
For some reason my memory always tell me we did used to have a chant to this when I was a kid but I'm not sure if it's one I heard when I was a kid or one me and my mates made up when we were pissed and then forgot it.
Maybe even another club sang it,I'm not sure.
Whatever It was it's a good idea,the tune with football lyrics would sound good on the terrace.

 

[Perfidious Albion]

Cracking poem, Attila, I liked your comments too. As you say,
"I don't actually think there is anything more we can do except carry on playing the football and hope the stats even out. I think they will."
Just got to keep calm and carry on.

 

[zefarelly]

Cracking poem, Attila, I liked your comments too. As you say,
"I don't actually think there is anything more we can do except carry on playing the football and hope the stats even out. I think they will."
Just got to keep calm and carry on.

I think John, and the majority of us, would agree that would be much easier to do over a pint in the Duke. (other taverns are available)