If you were in a brawl - who would you want on your side??

[CHAPPERS]

You can pick FOUR celebrities (living or dead) to fight with you in a bar room brawl, possibly against Palace fans.

Please explain why in each case...

Mr T - Probably the hardest man ever to have lived, his gold would add a touch of class to the proceedings.

Shane Lynch from Boyzone - he showed that he was an all round athlete in the games. His versatility and height means he could do some damage to 'thingys' of any size.

Uma Therman - After all that training for Kill Bill she is certain to now be a Kung Fu expert and would bamboozle the Palarse with her martial ARTS. I could then take her out for a post OFF meal.

Charlie Oatway - Because, that's why.

 

[SM BHAFC]

Charles Bronsen, allegedly Britains hardest Prisoner
Bruce Lee
Lenny Mclean bare knuckle boxer of Lock stock fame
Mike Tyson nuff said

 

[Easy 10]

Charles Bronsen, allegedly Britains hardest Prisoner
Bruce Lee
Lenny Mclean bare knuckle boxer of Lock stock fame
Mike Tyson nuff said

So you'd have two corpses on your side ?
I'd have 4 living. Not decided yet.

 

[Simster]

Begby out of Trainspotting. Top notch nutter.

Ian Dowie - a face that ugly is unlikely to worry about being glassed.

Martin Thomas - arguably the biggest f***ing NUTTER ever seen in a Brighton shirt.

My token bird would be Jordan. I reckon she'd be great at SCRATCHING.

 

[SM BHAFC]

Easy,Easy 10 read CTS original post living or dead, watch it or me and my four pals may come to visit!

 

[JJ McClure]

Jamie Oliver
Graham Norton
Piers Morgan (Editor of the Mirror)
Howard from the Halifax adverts

Coz the Palace fans would be sooo keen to give them all a damn good kicking that I could sneek out without being noticed.

 

[Marc]

Ali - for his wit and death punches
Big Daddy - so he can squash 'em
Saddam Hussein - he bombs his own people so god only knows what he'd do to a bunch of Palace Scum!
Britney Spears - token bird so when the scum stare at her tits the other boys can whack 'em..and I can have her afterwards too

 

[Gary Nelson]

a) Lenny McLean-considering he had 1 defeat in 3000 fights your pretty much safe as houses. His autobiography is awesome and some of things he has done are frightening, most of which are cross referenced in other books.

b) Abs from 5-That eyebrow piercing is mighty scary and would come in handy as a weapon. If we are losing the battle, he could always sing which would be the killer blow.

c) David (from David and Goliath) Plucky underdog who will ocme through for you.

d) Lucy Liu-FAF(fit as f***.) With her aray of karate skills and all round menace she will be useful. It helps she is gorgeous is likely to want to shag me and the other 3 before and after the dust up.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

nana moon the fiesty minx

umm patrick vieria

mr t of course

ken dodd

 

[Reading Posh]

Bob Geldof - always likely to punch first and ask questions later

Martin Johnson - biggest fucker in the pub

Lee Bowyer - need someone that thinks he's hard to get a good battering on behalf of his brawling mates

Steve McQueen - a nutcase

 

[Easy 10]

Easy,Easy 10 read CTS original post living or dead, watch it or me and my four pals may come to visit!

Damn, I always do that. I saw the thread title, got all excited and jumped straight in.

 

[fatboy]

Downloaded Penguin.

I would need someone there to eat my pizzas while fighting.

 

[Trigger]

FOUR random women on time of the month, lets face it, who will argue with them?

 

[Hungry Joe.]

Roberto Duran - possibly the hardest street-fighting boxer of all time

Richard Burton - brooding and dangerous when pissed, which was most of the time

The bloke who played Jaws in the Bond films - you just have to look at him to mess your jocks

Spike Milligan - incendiary tempter and, failing kicking you into submission, could laugh you to incapacity

 

[The Large One]

Jonah Lomu - and he's bloody fast

Richard Kiel - those metal teeth are just mental

Bob Booker - Remember what he did to Nicky Law...

Paul Brooker - for novelty value

 

[Locky]

Stuart Pearce No one F**ks with phycho

Vinne Jones Because of his Gypo connections

Yorkie well after my leg slapping she scares the pants off me

The Big One (sorry Large one) because he's big (sorry large)

 

[Braders]

charles broson
mike tyson
vinnie jones
johnny adair

 

[Lady Bracknell]

FOUR random women on time of the month, lets face it, who will argue with them?

Nah, you want at least one woman going through the change of life, Trig. In between the hot flushes they can get really VICIOUS.


But to answer the question "properly" I'd go for
Danny Cullip
Dawn French
Vinnie Jones

and Perseus. Because if all else fails he could be left to send them to sleep with a dissertation on why P**de is the obvious place to build a fantasy stadium. The rest of us could then scarper....

 

[Seagulltonian]

Leon Knight, cause he can always call for reinforcements and bite them in the knee!

Paul Clarke, now he was hard and not scared of nobody

Danny Cullip, anyone with hair that short, just looks well hard. And he's got that certain sneer that can cause the opposistion to fill their pants!!!

and finally,

Ben Roberts - can run very fast from a long way off, and he always wants to get involved in brawls. He can then whack them with his comedy goalkeeping gloves!!

 

[Braders]

Ben Roberts - can run very fast from a long way off, and he always wants to get involved in brawls. He can then whack them with his comedy goalkeeping gloves!!

and shout 'AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY' at them!