[Humour] If you have a dump in someone else's toilet.....

[Mustafa II]

Toilet brushes are grim. Absolutely grim.

They need to invent some kind of pressurised jetter that lives next to loos.

 

[jackanada]

Bog brushes are not suitable for breaking a grizzlys back. You just get a particularly shitty brush that's hard to clean. You need a separate breaker upper, slicer, or masher for that bend blocker.
I tend to grab a stick but I shall be fashioning a dedicated turd breaker in the future.

 

[Blue3]

Years ago me and a mate who’s a tough gritty Glaswegian helped out at a hospital charity it was coming up to Christmas and chatting to one of the nurses she said that her house was full of Christmas lights and people came from miles around to see it and she invited us along I have to say it was mighty impressive even had a train up high went through the walls around the front garden and back in all to raise money for charity any we are just leaving and standing in the hall my mates announces he needs the loo first so he pops into the downstairs one next to the front door with the nurse her family and myself standing just outside, my mate then proceeded to what I can say sounded like the curled out the biggest poo an almighty splash and fart then out he pops we smile and leg it never scope to said nurse again

 

[The aloof gatekeeper]

Always tried to avoid it when working in peoples houses. If every I was caught short it was an almighty push and flush straight away so the whole package went down to avoid any incriminating evidence.
Do the paperwork after with separate flush.

This is the way.

You open the bomb-bay doors, flush, then drop the payload.

 

[jordanseagull]

When I used to work in an office and had to go for a number two, I would wait until no-one was in the bathroom before I dropped. Trouble was, if I went in a cubical and someone else was in the next one they would wait for me to drop first. It was a dumping stand off.

In the end I would put my fingers in my ears and release the bombs hoping that I wouldn't hear them land. Somehow it curtailed the embarrassment.

I do wonder if others have done the same thing. I reckon more than I think.

All the time. Been in many a plop-off. Sometimes have earphones in so I can’t hear what’s going on. Cheers.

 

[SeagullinExile]

Toilet brushes are grim. Absolutely grim.

They need to invent some kind of pressurised jetter that lives next to loos.

You mean a bum gun like that have all over Asia? They are triple action, they clean your butt, cool you down AND you can use them to clean any skiddies. Awesome things!

 

[A mex eyecan]

All the time. Been in many a plop-off. Sometimes have earphones in so I can’t hear what’s going on. Cheers.

if you’re that scared then lay 2 or 3 sheets of paper on top of the water, it silences the plop!

 

[Swimboy64]

I still have terrible flashbacks to the time when I was a teenager and - because I'd never seen one before - came that close to taking a dump in my French host family's bidet

There is normally a regular toilet next to them but easy mistake to make I guess Neil did it on the inbetweeners

 

[Swimboy64]

You mean a bum gun like that have all over Asia? They are triple action, they clean your butt, cool you down AND you can use them to clean any skiddies. Awesome things!

And a quick drink

 

[jordanseagull]

if you’re that scared then lay 2 or 3 sheets of paper on top of the water, it silences the plop!

Oh I do. But sometimes the exit sound is just as bad. What a thread.

 

[Albion my Albion]

what if you're dating a new bird and you're in the 'holding in your farts' stage ?

Let er rip. Everybody farts eventually. Why hold it back.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Toilet brushes are grim. Absolutely grim.

They need to invent some kind of pressurised jetter that lives next to loos.

The loo pressure skid eliminator by Ronco (of Ron Popeil fame, maker of the Pocket Fisherman)

 

[Seagull on the Hill]

Where’s the “Proudly show the huge skids in the u-bend to others” option?

Do German toilets still have a "ledge" to catch the turd so that it can be inspected before flushing?

 

[Bodian]

Do German toilets still have a "ledge" to catch the turd so that it can be inspected before flushing?

And Amsterdam if you're off to Ajax.

 

[nicko31]

Left a large unflushed dump in a restaurant in Cornwall when they served up a terrible meal and did nothing when I complained.

Childish yes, I know...

 

[A mex eyecan]

Oh I do. But sometimes the exit sound is just as bad. What a thread.

thats why you want to have tapered turds. They stop your arse closing with a bang!

 

[Justice]

Just dropped a rancid one the client popped out to do the school run, it had been a holder for the last few hours
The relief of letting go

 

[AmexRuislip]

Always a shoe in

 

[AmexRuislip]

You’re in trouble when you lay cable so big it’s laying there like a crocodile and is unflushable, you look round for the bog brush to break its back and there isn’t one.
What does one do, toothbrush?

Giving birth to a gorillas middle finger.
Laying a depth charge.

 

[BN9 BHA]

You lot are weird……never change