I think a six-legged pantomime horse version of me would work a treat.
Keira Knightley would do a grand job at the rear. Ronnie Corbett could go in the middle, just to prove I'm not ageist. And Sooty can play the front end, though we may have to sort him out some comedy legs from somewhere - Emu's perhaps?
Oh, and William Shatner could sit on Sooty's head and play my final front ear.