[Football] Idiots at away games

[Eeyore]

I went to sit in my office chair to listen to the commentary and found that the CAT had taken stubborn residence. It was a minute into the game, whilst Warren was stumbling over a silent vowel, that it moved. Thanking it with insincere English charm I turned to see that the smug grin it parted with was due to it having taken a retaliatory shit on the seat.

 

[Blue Valkyrie]

Were any fat MUGS steaming it onto the train ?

 

[maffew]

I went to sit in my office chair to listen to the commentary and found that the CAT had taken stubborn residence. It was a minute into the game, whilst Warren was stumbling over a silent vowel, that it moved. Thanking it with insincere English charm I turned to see that the smug grin it parted with was due to it having taken a retaliatory shit on the seat.

When I go to the living room and the dog is sat in MY chair, it knows to move or it's gonna kick off (I'd move seats but its the only one where my laptop charger can reach to). It becomes a bit complicated when my dad is sat where the dog often sits and doesnt move. Poor dog gets most confused at this point and just walks round for a minute before lying down in the most inconvenient place possible, probably as a sign of protest

 

[Eeyore]

When I go to the living room and the dog is sat in MY chair, it knows to move or it's gonna kick off (I'd move seats but its the only one where my laptop charger can reach to). It becomes a bit complicated when my dad is sat where the dog often sits and doesnt move. Poor dog gets most confused at this point and just walks round for a minute before lying down in the most inconvenient place possible, probably as a sign of protest

How can you expect obedience and reverence from your canine if you don't apply the rules evenly ?

Next time your Dad sits in that chair you need to give him a good kicking.

 

[maffew]

How can you expect obedience and reverence from your canine if you don't apply the rules evenly ?

Next time your Dad sat in that chair you need to give him a good kicking.

Fair point. Except my dad is bigger than me and I dont wanna **** with him. And if I go **** him up I'll probably lose my seat to the cat and the process becomes a bit more complex

 

[Eeyore]

Fair point. Except my dad is bigger than me and I dont wanna **** with him. And if I go **** him up I'll probably lose my seat to the cat and the process becomes a bit more complex

If there is a cat involved your fecked anyway. They have long memories.

 

[TSB]

Don't be like that. It was a FUNNY.

RM Taylor wouldn't know light-hearted if it slapped him across the face.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Bore off

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[chaileyjem]

The OP is obviously a story to be read with several handfuls of sodium carbonate but the overall point that either is meant in jest or seriously that last nights stewarding was terrible is correct.
There was severe overcrowding in certain areas, sightline issues, standing in aisles throughout so no access, and the idea of sitting in correct seats had long vanished before i turned up (late).
Some might say suck that up - all away games are like that. Actually i'm not sure i've been to an away game (Fulham to QPR to Hudds to Man U to West Brom to Forest etc) for years where it was like this.

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Add this to the list of things that never happened.

I call bullshit on the entire story. Jackanory.

Oh l feel sure that it is a true story, but just sounds like an average away game really.. Maybe away days aren't for the fainthearted or unprepared.

 

[goldstone68]

The game at Southampton was my first away match for many years, I won't be going again didn't expect to be hit over the head with a bloody walking stick.

 

[Joe Gatting's Dad]

If you want to sit in your own seat at an away game, just arrive thirty minutes before kick-off. Worked for me for centuries.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Arrive early if you want your seat, as for the swearing, f*** off.

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[In The Rough]

Sadly word for word all true and all happened to me last night.

It is something that the clubs need to look at for those travelling with elderly or children.

I would hate to have had my children subjected to the language, songs about the IRA and someone shouting YOU CAAAANT everytime we gave the ball away (Which did happen a lot)

Had there been a fire last night or need to evacuate quickly, all sorts of carnage would have occured.

 

[dennis]

I miss the old days when there would always be a dog that ran on the pitch and caused chaos, ironically no one used to throw sticks for them!

Funny old world

 

[Triggaaar]

Don't be like that. It was a FUNNY.

How can you tell?

 

[Bingo]

Why do away games attract the very worst of our support?

Yesterday we got to the ground at 7:40 to find a load of people already in our seats. OUR Seats. We had paid good money for them and had to stand in the aisles in what is one of the most dangerous things that can happen in a football ground.

Then when we scored the penalty, a very drunk man jumped on me and shouted "FACKING CAM ANNNNN!" in my ear. Yeah great we scored but really is there any need for this??

I went to speak to a steward at half time but they didn't want to know. What is the point in having them there?

Second half was just as bad. A constant stream of foul language from all those around, everyone standing despite me asking nicely if they wouldn't mind sitting down. I was told to **** off twice.

To top it off when Southamton scored in the second half, another man took my Dad's walking stick and threw it in frustration, meaning I had to push to the front to retrieve it.

You don't get this at the Amex, everyone sits in their seats and doesn't stand and those around me don't feel the need to use that sort of language constantly so why is it like this at away games?

I would be interested to know if anyone else has experienced similar this season as am writing to Paul Barber, Ralph Krueger at Southampton and the Head of Hampshire Police. It ruined our night out

I would strongly advise you don't go to Palace away then.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Why do away games attract the very worst of our support?

Yesterday we got to the ground at 7:40 to find a load of people already in our seats. OUR Seats. We had paid good money for them and had to stand in the aisles in what is one of the most dangerous things that can happen in a football ground.

Then when we scored the penalty, a very drunk man jumped on me and shouted "FACKING CAM ANNNNN!" in my ear. Yeah great we scored but really is there any need for this??

I went to speak to a steward at half time but they didn't want to know. What is the point in having them there?

Second half was just as bad. A constant stream of foul language from all those around, everyone standing despite me asking nicely if they wouldn't mind sitting down. I was told to **** off twice.

To top it off when Southamton scored in the second half, another man took my Dad's walking stick and threw it in frustration, meaning I had to push to the front to retrieve it.

You don't get this at the Amex, everyone sits in their seats and doesn't stand and those around me don't feel the need to use that sort of language constantly so why is it like this at away games?

I would be interested to know if anyone else has experienced similar this season as am writing to Paul Barber, Ralph Krueger at Southampton and the Head of Hampshire Police. It ruined our night out

I blame rotr and ppf

 

[jakarta]

Had there been a need to evacuate quickly, all sorts of carnage would have occured.

At least you would have cleared a space for yourself...

 

[Guinness Boy]

Luckily my mate got there earlier than us and saved our seats as we got in at 7.44 precisely. I wish he hadn't though as I was right on the edge of the netting next to the Southampton fans. Not only did some of them pen and ink but I was also right next to a copper for the whole game, which inadvertently turned me in to a Grange Hill character. "Flippin 'eck Stephens!", Gosh!", "you pillock".

So, in short I would advise the OP to arrive earlier next time and steal a seat near a copper. No swearing at all and any walking stick shenanigans would result in a smelly Scummer getting it in the schnoz.