The last few seasons, certainly since Falmer, have been easy, emotionally - turning up with hope, hope of staying up, hope of making the play offs, hope for games and buzzing after wins.
This season it's different, not so much hope of... but fear of... Fear of losing our position, losing our record, losing the game, and walking away from games feeling relieved rather than buzzy.
I don't know how it's been for you, but that's how it's been for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to enjoy this wonderful season more, and I think I've cracked it, all thanks to Wales, my mother's country (may she rest in peace).
The Welsh are some of the most self hating people on the planet (remember Dylan Thomas said "they call it 'the land of my fathers' - and the old ****ers are welcome to it").
But in the 70's when the Welsh played God-like rugby, their court jester, Max Boyce, came up with the most wonderful phrase, he said "I was there".
"I was there", he said, in 1975, and 1976. That's what he said.
Back to BHA, I'm losing the fear now, not quite yet starting to believe, not for a few games yet, but in case, just in case something special happens this season, I'm holding on to the emotion of "I was there"...
I was there for Hull
I was there at Fulham
I was there for Birmingham
And bloody hell, I was there for Charlton
And so come what may of this season, I'm thinking "I was there", and there might just be something to tell the grandchildren...
This season it's different, not so much hope of... but fear of... Fear of losing our position, losing our record, losing the game, and walking away from games feeling relieved rather than buzzy.
I don't know how it's been for you, but that's how it's been for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to enjoy this wonderful season more, and I think I've cracked it, all thanks to Wales, my mother's country (may she rest in peace).
The Welsh are some of the most self hating people on the planet (remember Dylan Thomas said "they call it 'the land of my fathers' - and the old ****ers are welcome to it").
But in the 70's when the Welsh played God-like rugby, their court jester, Max Boyce, came up with the most wonderful phrase, he said "I was there".
"I was there", he said, in 1975, and 1976. That's what he said.
Back to BHA, I'm losing the fear now, not quite yet starting to believe, not for a few games yet, but in case, just in case something special happens this season, I'm holding on to the emotion of "I was there"...
I was there for Hull
I was there at Fulham
I was there for Birmingham
And bloody hell, I was there for Charlton
And so come what may of this season, I'm thinking "I was there", and there might just be something to tell the grandchildren...