I think my neighbour is an Albion fan

[lawros left foot]

For years she was happy to plow along, no great ambition, but no great dramas either, then she married a really evil git, who stole her house from her, and forced her to move far away from the people who loved her, until fortunately she met a knight in shining armour who rescued her from her scrote of a husband, and spent years trying to get a new house, for her and all her children. Well, eventually he ran out of money, and the price of houses had gone through the roof, so, he introduced her to his very rich and handsome friend who gave her the money to buy a sparkly new house, on the condition she married him, which she did.
They have been in their new home for about three years now, and things aren't going too well at the moment. Their first housekeeper was a very good one and he made sure that everything in the house was great, and nearly all the children were very happy, but then, he had a row with the very rich and handsome husband and went to look after another family, so the rich and handsome husband got another housekeeper, who was nearly as good but a bit boring to be honest,any way he left after a very short time because the rich and handsome husband wouldn't give him lots of money to keep the children happy, so a new housekeeper was employed, but a lot of the children who had come back home when their mother got a new house, weren't happy cos the rich and handsome husband wouldn't speend all his money on new toys, and he even made them pay a lot for their food and drink.l have seen a lot of sheets on the washing line, so i think one or two of the children may be wetting the bed, and some of them won't go home anymore to see their mother, and those that have stayed at home, are very quite and withdrawn, and don't sing in the garden like they used to.I hope that the very rich and handsome husband can find some moneyfrom some of the childrens old toys that he sold, to buy them some new ones, or I don't think the marriage will be very happy for much longer

 

[Eeyore]

For years she was happy to plow along, no great ambition, but no great dramas either, then she married a really evil git, who stole her house from her, and forced her to move far away from the people who loved her, until fortunately she met a knight in shining armour who rescued her from her scrote of a husband, and spent years trying to get a new house, for her and all her children. Well, eventually he ran out of money, and the price of houses had gone through the roof, so, he introduced her to his very rich and handsome friend who gave her the money to buy a sparkly new house, on the condition she married him, which she did.
They have been in their new home for about three years now, and things aren't going too well at the moment. Their first housekeeper was a very good one and he made sure that everything in the house was great, and nearly all the children were very happy, but then, he had a row with the very rich and handsome husband and went to look after another family, so the rich and handsome husband got another housekeeper, who was nearly as good but a bit boring to be honest,any way he left after a very short time because the rich and handsome husband wouldn't give him lots of money to keep the children happy, so a new housekeeper was employed, but a lot of the children who had come back home when their mother got a new house, weren't happy cos the rich and handsome husband wouldn't speend all his money on new toys, and he even made them pay a lot for their food and drink.l have seen a lot of sheets on the washing line, so i think one or two of the children may be wetting the bed, and some of them won't go home anymore to see their mother, and those that have stayed at home, are very quite and withdrawn, and don't sing in the garden like they used to.I hope that the very rich and handsome husband can find some moneyfrom some of the childrens old toys that he sold, to buy them some new ones, or I don't think the marriage will be very happy for much longer

I think this lady, as abused as she was, seems to have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. She should remember the rock from which she was hewn.

 

[bravohotelalpha]

For years she was happy to plow along, no great ambition, but no great dramas either, then she married a really evil git, who stole her house from her, and forced her to move far away from the people who loved her, until fortunately she met a knight in shining armour who rescued her from her scrote of a husband, and spent years trying to get a new house, for her and all her children. Well, eventually he ran out of money, and the price of houses had gone through the roof, so, he introduced her to his very rich and handsome friend who gave her the money to buy a sparkly new house, on the condition she married him, which she did.
They have been in their new home for about three years now, and things aren't going too well at the moment. Their first housekeeper was a very good one and he made sure that everything in the house was great, and nearly all the children were very happy, but then, he had a row with the very rich and handsome husband and went to look after another family, so the rich and handsome husband got another housekeeper, who was nearly as good but a bit boring to be honest,any way he left after a very short time because the rich and handsome husband wouldn't give him lots of money to keep the children happy, so a new housekeeper was employed, but a lot of the children who had come back home when their mother got a new house, weren't happy cos the rich and handsome husband wouldn't speend all his money on new toys, and he even made them pay a lot for their food and drink.l have seen a lot of sheets on the washing line, so i think one or two of the children may be wetting the bed, and some of them won't go home anymore to see their mother, and those that have stayed at home, are very quite and withdrawn, and don't sing in the garden like they used to.I hope that the very rich and handsome husband can find some moneyfrom some of the childrens old toys that he sold, to buy them some new ones, or I don't think the marriage will be very happy for much longer

... And they all lived happily ever after !

 

[pornomagboy]

For years she was happy to plow along, no great ambition, but no great dramas either, then she married a really evil git, who stole her house from her, and forced her to move far away from the people who loved her, until fortunately she met a knight in shining armour who rescued her from her scrote of a husband, and spent years trying to get a new house, for her and all her children. Well, eventually he ran out of money, and the price of houses had gone through the roof, so, he introduced her to his very rich and handsome friend who gave her the money to buy a sparkly new house, on the condition she married him, which she did.
They have been in their new home for about three years now, and things aren't going too well at the moment. Their first housekeeper was a very good one and he made sure that everything in the house was great, and nearly all the children were very happy, but then, he had a row with the very rich and handsome husband and went to look after another family, so the rich and handsome husband got another housekeeper, who was nearly as good but a bit boring to be honest,any way he left after a very short time because the rich and handsome husband wouldn't give him lots of money to keep the children happy, so a new housekeeper was employed, but a lot of the children who had come back home when their mother got a new house, weren't happy cos the rich and handsome husband wouldn't speend all his money on new toys, and he even made them pay a lot for their food and drink.l have seen a lot of sheets on the washing line, so i think one or two of the children may be wetting the bed, and some of them won't go home anymore to see their mother, and those that have stayed at home, are very quite and withdrawn, and don't sing in the garden like they used to.I hope that the very rich and handsome husband can find some moneyfrom some of the childrens old toys that he sold, to buy them some new ones, or I don't think the marriage will be very happy for much longer

That actually made me laugh out loud

 

[drew]

You forgot to mention that the first housekeeper was always banging on about how she was going to work in bigger and better houses with higher ceilings. Also before a very important dinner party with a near neighbour announced she was flouncing off.

 

[Puppet Master]

tl;dr

 

[The Legend that IS Lawro]

Maybe the woman wasn't 'putting out' as much as she might.

 

[tinx]

There's no mention of the first housekeeper curling one out on the playroom floor when the kids had some friends over.

 

[bennibenj]

Have you thought of getting these published?

 

[Gazwag]

Have you thought of getting these published?

He would have to discover paragraphs first

 

[lawros left foot]

He would have to discover paragraphs first

Is that the country between Brazil and Uruguay? I think it's already been discovered

 

[Hillian1]

Some of the children, in fact many of the children, were not hers to begin with and were stolen from the bigger families.

Although happy at first the stolen children have become restless.

 

[WhingForPresident]

Obligatory.

 

[Return of the Rev]

For years she was happy to plow along, no great ambition, but no great dramas either, then she married a really evil git, who stole her house from her, and forced her to move far away from the people who loved her, until fortunately she met a knight in shining armour who rescued her from her scrote of a husband, and spent years trying to get a new house, for her and all her children. Well, eventually he ran out of money, and the price of houses had gone through the roof, so, he introduced her to his very rich and handsome friend who gave her the money to buy a sparkly new house, on the condition she married him, which she did.
They have been in their new home for about three years now, and things aren't going too well at the moment. Their first housekeeper was a very good one and he made sure that everything in the house was great, and nearly all the children were very happy, but then, he had a row with the very rich and handsome husband and went to look after another family, so the rich and handsome husband got another housekeeper, who was nearly as good but a bit boring to be honest,any way he left after a very short time because the rich and handsome husband wouldn't give him lots of money to keep the children happy, so a new housekeeper was employed, but a lot of the children who had come back home when their mother got a new house, weren't happy cos the rich and handsome husband wouldn't speend all his money on new toys, and he even made them pay a lot for their food and drink.l have seen a lot of sheets on the washing line, so i think one or two of the children may be wetting the bed, and some of them won't go home anymore to see their mother, and those that have stayed at home, are very quite and withdrawn, and don't sing in the garden like they used to.I hope that the very rich and handsome husband can find some moneyfrom some of the childrens old toys that he sold, to buy them some new ones, or I don't think the marriage will be very happy for much longer

Can see the husband getting pissed off with the lot of them and selling them to a middle eastern human trafficking syndicate