I think I've got a CRICKET behind my fridge

[Sir Sarcy]

Did you first hear it in the kitchen when you went to COOK.

Have you tried scaring it as it might RUN OUT.

 

[Simon Morgan]

You may need to create a BROAD space behind the fridge to get it out, HAURITZ gonna be tough

 

[Sir Sarcy]

If i were you i would COVER one end of the fridge, maybe using the SQUARE LEG of a chair, and then try to CATCH it as it BAILS. To scare it out you might want to light a match but, and this may sound like a SILLY POINT, it could go OUT so you may want to light a TEST MATCH first.

 

[Simon Morgan]

Maybe get a dustpan and brush and SWEEP it away

 

[Sir Sarcy]

I find women tend to be better at things like this so it may be worth getting a MAIDEN OVER.

 

[Simon Morgan]

I fear I have RUN OUT of puns for this one

 

[jordanseagull]

Easy, i am sure your terrible ordeal will be OVER soon, but for now my friend you are going to have to BAT IT OUT.

 

[jordanseagull]

But here! I have an idea! CATCH him in a BOWL then you'll have the opportunity to THROW him OUT!

 

[Sir Sarcy]

Have you tried talking to it, you might be able to APPEAL to its better nature.

I DECLARE that the worst one yet!

 

[Sir Sarcy]

Or you could speak to GULLY to see if he can come round and HOOK the little NIGHTWATCHMEN out

 

[Vankleek Hill Seagull]

I bet it's got the GOOGLIES to last longer than a week.

 

[Sir Sarcy]

Maybe if you play some CHINMUSIC at the right PITCH it will WALK whilst you give it THE FINGER.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

And its driving me NUTS

I can hear it ALL the time. Its clearly in the kitchen, and initially I thought it might just be a kind of squeaking noise that the fridge was making against the wall, vibratring or something. So I've budged the fridge around a bit, but the noise PERSISTS. Taking the fridge out from the wall would be a major HASSLE, cos there's a little radiator on the wall next to it that you have to "jimmy" it past at an angle, plus it'll f*** up my wooden flooring with scuffs and shit. And its a big fridge-freezer unit bastard thats about as manoeuvrable as Hawkins with a hernia.

How long before a starved cricket will DIE ?

Put down some rice paper and see if it walks out. Or does that just work for grasshoppers?

 

[Taybha]

Whatever you do DO NOT kill it,it is considered very very lucky to have a cricket wander into your house and it is said that any gamble you take the time it stays under your roof the gamble will pay off.

 

[Dave the OAP]

get yourself a CAT

 

[acrossthepond]

I've got about 250 of these in my garden

It's a mole cricket - they dig a hole and then come out in the evening and make a hell of a racket. They're about the length of your little finger (unless you have freakishly long/short fingers).

One cricket stuck behind the fridge - pah!

 

[Notters]

I cans see you you would have trouble GATTING it out from there.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

A couple of years ago a mate of mine suffered from persistent cricket noises behind his front room fire. Turned out the neighbours had a pet lizard and the crickets were escaped Godzilla snacks.
He is a Palace fan.

 

[acrossthepond]

I cans see you you would have trouble GATTING it out from there.

Oh good grief - not unless you had Prior knowledge of the problem.

 

[glasfryn]

get yourself a CAT

I was about to say that .......and if you already have one its gone deaf