[NSC] I smashed up my strimmer, and I don't want my wife to know

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hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,759
Chandlers Ford
So now it looks like I'll have to blow the thick end of 80 sheets for another strimmer. But I need to do all this whilst (a) disposing of the old broken one somewhere, and (b) get the new one without her knowing.

I'm not expecting suggestions tbh, just venting really. But its going to keep me awake now, I know it.
dispose of the old one?

What is WRONG with you?

surely you need to keep it, in your shed, just in case you need it, or BITS of it?
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,342
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
dispose of the old one?

What is WRONG with you?

surely you need to keep it, in your shed, just in case you need it, or BITS of it?
I think you’re on to something.

Easy can tell the Doris that the strimmer cracked after an angry seagull flew overhead and dropped a stone on it, but it’s ok because he’ll keep it for PARTS in case something happens to the new one.

It would be the perfect crime, had he not left an easily googled confession on NSC.
 




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,416
Location Location
Wow, this thread spawned further than I thought. Some lively punnage, a sprinkling of advice, and a drizzle of withering disdain. Overall, I think we've all learned something.

So. After perusing a few new strimmers, I have arrived at a conclusion that somebody mentioned earlier, and may surprise some. I think I might invest in a nice pair of SHEARS. Given my garden is only about 30 yards long by 15 yards wide, its not going to be overly TAXING to chop my way round the edging. And who knows, by the end of the summer I might even have guns like Dwayne Johnson and thighs like Igor.

I'll tell the doris I'm on a health kick (the snapped strimmer is still cunningly concealed).
 




Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,342
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Wow, this thread spawned further than I thought. Some lively punnage, a sprinkling of advice, and a drizzle of withering disdain. Overall, I think we've all learned something.

So. After perusing a few new strimmers, I have arrived at a conclusion that somebody mentioned earlier, and may surprise some. I think I might invest in a nice pair of SHEARS. Given my garden is only about 30 yards long by 15 yards wide, its not going to be overly TAXING to chop my way round the edging. And who knows, by the end of the summer I might even have guns like Dwayne Johnson and thighs like Igor.

I'll tell the doris I'm on a health kick (the snapped strimmer is still cunningly concealed).
What could possibly go wrong?
 




Change at Barnham

Well-known member
Aug 6, 2011
5,468
Bognor Regis
Some options worth considering.

a) Take it along to BBC's The Repair Shop and tell them the strimmer was your late father's who died in an heroic effort to save some kittens crossing the road. And be sure to mention it is the only connection you have left with him.

b) Alternatively, if you are really shit scared of your missus, buy her something like a massive bunch of flowers or maybe a pampering session at a spa and tell her that the purchase included a free strimmer.

c) Tell your wife you received a new strimmer as an early bird gift from Paul Barber for being a loyal Brighton fan for so many years and renewing your 2024/25 Albion season ticket back in February.

d) Just look on eBay for a second hand replacement of the exact same model and get it sent to a mate's address. Then just swap them over when she's out for the day.
 




LamieRobertson

Not awoke
Feb 3, 2008
48,421
SHOREHAM BY SEA
Wow, this thread spawned further than I thought. Some lively punnage, a sprinkling of advice, and a drizzle of withering disdain. Overall, I think we've all learned something.

So. After perusing a few new strimmers, I have arrived at a conclusion that somebody mentioned earlier, and may surprise some. I think I might invest in a nice pair of SHEARS. Given my garden is only about 30 yards long by 15 yards wide, its not going to be overly TAXING to chop my way round the edging. And who knows, by the end of the summer I might even have guns like Dwayne Johnson and thighs like Igor.

I'll tell the doris I'm on a health kick (the snapped strimmer is still cunningly concealed).
I hope it was something like these and not the type shown in an earlier photo which would mean fannying around on the ground 👀
IMG_2051.jpeg
 








bhafc99

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2003
7,455
Dubai
“It’s better for the environment, darling, those strimmer things are dreadful for pollution, CO2 emissions, um child labour in third world countries, and that kind of stuff.”
 








Cheshire Cat

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