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I love my job...
- Thread starter HampshireSeagulls
- Start date
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Banned
Ole Gunnar Soljskaer?
Aston Killer
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Banned
Shooton Town
Ack-Accrington Stanley
NMH
Banned
Totstengun Hotspur
My job is so f***ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f***ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f***ing dog to work.
Every f***ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f***ing day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f***ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f***ing dog to work.
Every f***ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f***ing day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
matthew
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,641
Glockport County
Blood-Bath City
NMH
Banned
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Banned
Queens Park Rifle Range-rs
The Grockle
Formally Croydon Seagull
Shoot 'em and Mitcham.
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
- Thread starter
- #35
Yeah, I suppose so. Then again who would have brought a flare gun to a match and fired it across the pitch, killing someone? (Wales v Romania, 1993), or the Blackpool fan who was burned when flares were let off, or the Scouser who shot a flare gun across the ground at Aberdeen fans in a pre-season friendly a few years back. Foreign supporters are not unknown to bring guns into matches
Or the Man U fans who were "relieved" of darts, golf balls and other weapons before their cup tie this year.
Den Haag have a lovely record of stun guns, machetes, molotov cocktails, axes, knuckle dusters, flickknives, etc. As do a fair few other English clubs. And that's not forgetting the mace (not the spray, the f***ing great spiked metal ball on a chain) seized at a Leeds match
All the knives we worked with were those taken from fans, the guns were donated by Hampshire Constabulary as deactivated weapons for training purposes, but had been seized from troublemakers at football matches during raids on houses.
Of course, in Argentina the crowd are in more danger of having a gun pulled on them by a player..http://www.goal.com/en/news/60/south-america/2010/03/10/1826819/south-american-dispatch-argentine-footballer-pulls-gun-on
NMH
Banned
You need friendly people like me to look after your interests, instead of power-tripping you off the stands at the first opportunity.
I'm lifelong Albion, lived yards from The Goldstone, and a habitual North-stander - and as a fan too - personally I'd prefer to 'advise' than order around (unless it involves racism, then you're out without question).
Still, if you prefer the alternative, I hope you get that.
