[Humour] I had to drop a load under a bridge today

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Popeye

I Don't Exercise
Nov 12, 2021
583
North Carolina USA
As the title says, had to drop one under a bridge in downtown Charlotte today...

Picked my niece up from cheerleading practice and on the way back from dropping her off at my brother's house, I started feeling a deep pain in my gut(Taco Bell soft taco's with extra beef was a terrible idea).I thought I could just make it to the next exit to get to a gas station but didn't pay attention,missed the exit, and got stuck in traffic and of course le and behold it was a wreck, in the afternoon... in Charlotte... so I knew it was going to take awhile. By this point I was sweating more than a nun in a cucumber patch:down:

Only lucky thing if you want to call it that, is where traffic was stopped was right near a bridge with just enough space underneath where you couldn't be seen from the road. So even though I hated to leave my car, I turned it off(Traffic was literally not moving and some people were out standing by their cars) locked it up and darted under the bridge, hid myself the best I could and well yeah...and used my brand new pair of socks as a tp alternative. They were damn Under Armour ones also:glare:

Luckily no one saw me(Though I do hate it for the next person that walks under that underpass)I got back to my car and luckily traffic started creeping a little bit as the wreck was cleared.

Not very proud of myself and I have never done that in public before, but desparate times so and so. Just thought I would brighten up the NSC and just to say: No matter how bad you may feel, their's always someone somewhere with crap to get rid of.
 














Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,106
Faversham
What a shit thread :shrug:
 


Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,315
Living In a Box
Very Palarse
 


pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
Top Tip : Keep a hotel kettle in the trunk for such "caught short" emergencies.
Swap for a fresh kettle next time you stay at an establishment.
 




Popeye

I Don't Exercise
Nov 12, 2021
583
North Carolina USA
Apologies gents, I just thought it was a funny story to relay. No more Taco Bell for me lol:clap2:
 




The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
26,182
West is BEST
Emailed their head office to say I had a Taco Bell the other day in Brighton
They replied “cool, what did you get”?
My reply…
The ****ing Eartha’s

Taco Hell.
 




super-seagulls

Soup! Why didn’t I get any Soup?
Feb 1, 2011
3,127
Probably working!
In fairness I did date a cheerleader in college. Didn't last mind as I came to learn she hated James Bond movies, so that was it for me:thumbsup:

Shame she wasn’t with you. She could have watched a live showing of MOONraker, and you could have told her it was for your eyes only.
Good job you weren’t on the bridge though or there would’ve been a skyfall from the man with the golden bum.

I need to sleep now, but for those interested and before you ask, about 5 minutes!
And no need for the Partridge gif, I know!
 


sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,965
town full of eejits
Yeah, thanks for that. :ffsparr:

great story , what's not to like...??

similarly last Thursday i was left with no other alternative but to bash one out into Mellissa Podolski's knicker basket.

this story underlines human frailty , something we would all do well to acknowledge more often.
 


Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,863
Time to ban the Palace fan?

Why do people always assume that every new poster who comes in all guns blazing is automatically a Palace fan? I think this is the second US-based one who's been accused of that. I know new posters are supposed to creep in respectfully, start with a few anodyne comments and let us regulars sniff them out like dogs in the park; but not everyone does that.

Palace trolls normally start threads saying basically "I'm a Brighton fan but why are we so shit?" This thread may be a bit de trop for a newbie, but he's also started one about 'Favorite BHA Pictures' - and he's posted a good one. That's not Palace fan behaviour.

EDIT: Actually he's posted two good ones. The second one's a brilliant photo of Brian Horton that I don't think I've seen before. (Probably have but I'd forgotten it)
 
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spongy

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2011
2,780
Burgess Hill
I nearly shit myself on the way to work this morning.

Felt "that" feeling just as I was walking out the door but thought I could make it to work (I have to physically clock in on a machine and didn't want to be late and lose 15 mins).

It's a 17 mile drive to Horsham from where I live.

I got about 5 miles in and "that" feeling came back again. But harder. And that was when I knew I'd ****ed up.

Cue a drive along the A272 and A281 in under 10 minutes that a pro rally driver on a tarmac stage would be proud of.

And thank the lord there were no deer pratting around in the road like most days, I only usually do 45-50 along there so I can take avoiding action but this morning it was 65-75 with no ****s given.

When I pulled into the car park I was so desperate that I had to just sit there for 20 seconds clenching like mad to avoid the unmentionable.

**** knows how I actually made it to the toilet inside.

Next time I think I'm going to need to go to the toilet before I leave the house. I'm going to go to the toilet and sod the 15 minutes pay.
 




Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,868
Why do people always assume that every new poster who comes in all guns blazing is automatically a Palace fan? I think this is the second US-based one who's been accused of that. I know new posters are supposed to creep in respectfully, start with a few anodyne comments and let us regulars sniff them out like dogs in the park; but not everyone does that.

Palace trolls normally start threads saying basically "I'm a Brighton fan but why are we so shit?" This thread may be a bit de trop for a newbie, but he's also started one about 'Favorite BHA Pictures' - and he's posted a good one. That's not Palace fan behaviour.

EDIT: Actually he's posted two good ones. The second one's a brilliant photo of Brian Horton that I don't think I've seen before. (Probably have but I'd forgotten it)

There’s the GULLible and the cynical, B. Trust me, 100% Palace, no question. He’s even just set up his own ‘BHA’ Twitter account in which he says he’s a teacher and kids are the future while posting on here about shitting under a bridge with his niece or someone. As they say Stateside, You do the math.
 


Super Steve Earle

Well-known member
Feb 23, 2009
8,928
North of Brighton
There’s the GULLible and the cynical, B. Trust me, 100% Palace, no question. He’s even just set up his own ‘BHA’ Twitter account in which he says he’s a teacher and kids are the future while posting on here about shitting under a bridge with his niece or someone. As they say Stateside, You do the math.

He's definitely a teacher. First thing they tell you within 5 minutes is 'I'm a teacher'.
 




Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,863
There’s the GULLible and the cynical, B. Trust me, 100% Palace, no question. He’s even just set up his own ‘BHA’ Twitter account in which he says he’s a teacher and kids are the future while posting on here about shitting under a bridge with his niece or someone. As they say Stateside, You do the math.

Hmmm. Maybe, maybe not. (And he IS an American, which may explain some of his behaviour as they can be strange chaps at times. Guns, Trump etc). I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being simply because of the Horton photo. There's many Brighton fans on here who haven't posted anything nearly so uplifting.
 


Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,524
The lack of spaces involved in the overuse of brackets has my Spidey Sense tingling.
 


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