Hyperthetical Zombie Apocalypse best place to hold up/ hide in Brighton?

[The Kid Frankie]

There are some problems with the whole marina thing.

1. Zombies can walk on the seabed..refer to World War Z.
2. You would have a sizeable population trapped in there with you. Especially if they the apocalypse happened on a nice day. How long before someone dies of old age or some disease like diabetes where they would cark without regular insulin. We all know what happens then. Bitey time.
3. There's always massive loads of annoying teenagers hanging around Maccy Ds and the bowling alley. They'd send you mental. You'd have to imprison them on a boat or something.

Hmmm no one specified the type of zombie we would be dealing with here so I made the assumption we were dealing with the standard Night of the Living Dead/Walking Dead type, in which case seabed walking would be out. For World War Z head mental meth style zombies then some kind of net would have to be made to cover the entrance until some kind of gate could be constructed.

The people dying of natural causes is always a concern in these situations, it would be the same wherever you are. All that can be done is arrange for anyone unwell to be isolated and then be stabbed in the face if they are unlucky enough to pass away.

The teenagers would be 'mistaken' for zombies early doors and dealt with.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Hmmm no one specified the type of zombie we would be dealing with here so I made the assumption we were dealing with the standard Night of the Living Dead/Walking Dead type, in which case seabed walking would be out. For World War Z head mental meth style zombies then some kind of net would have to be made to cover the entrance until some kind of gate could be constructed.

The people dying of natural causes is always a concern in these situations, it would be the same wherever you are. All that can be done is arrange for anyone unwell to be isolated and then be stabbed in the face if they are unlucky enough to pass away.

The teenagers would be 'mistaken' for zombies early doors and dealt with.

This "net" you propose would have to assemble from what you had to hand. One made out of Armani let out store suits shit ties and kecks and various hippy beads and whatnot from the many small holdings would not suffice as, as we are all aware one,of the security guards going off his swede or someone deciding to " let in" the mouldering walking corpse of their mum or someone is ,sadly, inevitable as we all know from various works on the subject excluding Shaun of the dead which is a light hearted piss take of all the other works, zombies have a propensity to swarm in large hordes around gates, nets or fences until they inevitably give way under the critical mass of mobile cadavers. Submerged ones would benefit from tidal action although they would also be dragged off towards Normandy at low tide I suppose. You would also have to hope there was one of those amusing tourist markets on in the square opposite the bizarre office supply emporium. This would provide ample supplies of cheese and chilli sauce. A diet I would relish. You would also have enough scented candles to spell out "help" on the top of the car park as a beacon for passing helicopters filled with swat teams This would also provide a soothing vanilla, camomile and lavender to mask the stink of all those walking,floating dead.

Killing a large group of teenagers by stabbing them in the face as you suggest relies on you having some sort of einsatzgruppen in your band of mismatched tourists and,or Whitehawkers from Asda prepared to commit such an atrocity. I'd use the staff from Asda for this duty as they seem like a fairly ruthless murderers,although they seem incapable of following simple requests like where the cat food is. Either them or the waiters from frankie and bennys.

There are simply too many variables. I would rather load up a luxury motorised yacht with vodka, petrol and pot noodles and moor up mid channel and await the military to restore some sort of order and then cruise back in when it all died down a bit.