SIMMO SAYS
Well-known member
On a sunshine soaked Saturday morning at the Riverside Stadium the atmosphere was electric but tinged with tangible tension, as the Brighton fans made their way to their seats; "This is jolly pleasant old chap, it's like a festival of flavour" remarked one gentleman from hove, scoffing a parmo in a bun for the first time.
The noise in the stadium was loud with the Middlesbrough fans proudly chanting "follow follow follow, we're the red army from middlesbroooo" and the Brighton fans returning fire with loosely clenched fists "Come on Albion and score a ruddy goal".
It was Middlesbrough to kick off towards the south stand and the noisy gang of flare wielding 17 year old in tracksuit bottoms know by all as the red faction. Gaston Ramirez passes taps the ball to Jordan Rhodes who makes a forward run with all the masculinity of a teenage girl trying to avoid the rain as she runs from the car to the front door. Rhodes then passes the ball to the fit again George Friend who darts down the wing and shapes his body to cross into the box - but wait no, he was selling the defender wolf tickets as he drags the ball inside and squares it from the left hand corner of the box to Adam Clayton. Clayton then floats a lovely cross to the back post where Albert Adomah is arriving to nod the ball past the man with the naughty school boy hair cut and its 1-0 to the Boro inside of 2 minutes.
Albion now look dejected with heads dropping all around but their 74 year old captain wasn't about to let this go so easily - he had been given a day release from Seagulls care home on Brighton sea front and didn't want to waste it by getting beat so easily. After all he's missed bingo for this.
The ageing centre back told the lads about the time he and Bobby Zamora defeated the Gerries and that was certainly a more frightening prospect than Stuey 'tin man' Downing. "Yes!" Shouted upside down head Bruno who pumped his fist in determination but was now a little distracted by Greers speech. Why tin man? He asked himself.
Chris Hughton was his usual relaxed self; sat on a deck chair, hanky on his head with trousers rolled to his knees as he soaked his feet in a paddling pool "any more of these?" He asks the fourth official pointing to his pineapple filled with pina colada.
Karanka was his usual self blood shot eyes, knelt on the floor, hugging himself, whilst rocking back and fourth chanting defend, defend, defend. Boro's colourful goal keeping coach Leo Percovich who had already had four fights just getting into the stadium was just willing anyone to give him eye contact as he manically stared at the Brighton bench "psssst, oi" he said trying to trick Steve Sidell into letting him back his cabbage.
Brighton came close on a couple of occasions k-nockcheat chanelling his inner Laurence Olivier to win several free kicks. In fac he conned the officials more times than James Cordens had hot pasties. Greer also had a free header that Dunk would have surely stuck away but sadly he tripped on his dressing gown.
Middlesbrough managed to hold out and won 1-0 with their only chance of the game.
The end.
Oh dear another Northern Monkey