Help Needed !!!

[exeterseagull]

Hi all....
OK here's my dilemma...
Having endured the year from hell in 2007, (divorce early on, new relationship finished end of year..), i have, in the past few weeks found that a girl who works at a local club has shown me quite a lot of interest which is, to be honest totaly reciprocated..after giving me a lift home the other night i asked her out...nothing special, just to the cinema (guess it would be to sex and the city...seen the other thread btw so dont judge me on that....), having said thanks and then texted her to say thank you, she sent me a text saying that she wasn't sure what i wanted, but she only wanted to go as 'friends' !!!!now, am i being a complete pillock in pursuing this, or, is she just warning me to take it steady ?
would appreciate your thoughts, having been a crap judge myself on past relationships, i'm not sure what's best to do ??
help and suggestions please....

ps she's from blackpool....(if that really matters...) lol

 

[B.M.F]

It will not harm you to go and have some fun with a woman. What is the worst that can happen? She can insist on just being friends in which case nothing lost. She could also want more which you could tell by spending tie with her. I am not saying she might say she is gagging for it but she might show more interest than that of someone just wanting to be a friend.
Either way just go for it bud

 

[exeterseagull]

Hi BMF thanks for that...like i said just am doubting my own thoughts when it comes to the ways of a womans mind..i fancy this woman like anything, so thanks for the support...

 

[itszamora]

Firstly and most importantly, which club does she work at? Just because I know Exeter quite well I'd be intrigued to know. On a more serious note, self-doubt is perfectly natural but as BMF says, just go, have some fun and see what happens.

 

[exeterseagull]

ahh...luckily its a sports and social club and not one of exeter's hotbeds !!! of dance music.......lol.....not one to give names so as to respect the anonimity of...well.....me !!!

 

[itszamora]

ahh...luckily its a sports and social club and not one of exeter's hotbeds !!! of dance music.......lol.....not one to give names so as to respect the anonimity of...well.....me !!!

Haha no problem, I'm nowhere near there any more so nothing to worry about! Hotbeds is indeed the right word, I was torn between thinking she was an Arena or a Mambo girl myself!

 

[exeterseagull]

now i've seen the mambo girls....hmmmm only when doing promos around town of course....no she's much more down to earth and dare i say it 'girl next door' ish...and would prefer her to the mambo girls any day....am i really saying this !!!!

 

[B.M.F]

Hi BMF thanks for that...like i said just am doubting my own thoughts when it comes to the ways of a womans mind..i fancy this woman like anything, so thanks for the support...

Welcome to the board by the way. Let me pout this another way. If you do not follow your dreams you will never achieve them. I know this from experience as I travelled to the US to meet up with someone I had been talking to on Myspace and just over 1 year on I am now living in the US with aforementioned lady and Married her in February I know I still have to go through lots of immigration rubbish but heck if ou do not try you will never get anywhere.
Keep us all posted

 

[Wardy]

Go for it. Like BMF says if she only wants to be friends, then you at least have one new friend. The good thing about female friends is that they have female friends. So even if things do not happen between you and her, your friendship with her may lead to you meeting someone else.

In this day and age good friends are hard to come by. Do not risk losing one.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

the only thing im 100% sure about, is that i found out in my teens that you cant work out what goes on in a womans head.
i thought it'd get easier as i got older......im 48 now and still no nearer knowin what makes em tick


women=nice people, wrong planet

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Difficult one to be fair - the great thing about a cinema date though is its dark - if she tells you she only wants to be on a friend date with you then simply wait for the film to start and jerk off.

Everyones a winner - she doesnt get groped by you and you get to shoot yer muck.

Lovely stuff

 

[Buttinhams]

Women rarely say what they mean, they like to play mind games. I would say that her saying that she just wants to be friends means that she would like the relationship to be more than that, she just wants you to come out and say it.

 

[Adam Virgo's Shirt]

As a woman I would say the friends comment is just her protecting herself in case she has read the signs wrong. She has already shown this imo by saying she doesn't know what you want. Take her out and show her you are interested but don' hit on her straight away

I reckon before too long you'll be more than just friends! Good luck!

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

Wait til the lights go down and then stick your hand up her blouse

 

[nlf]

Female perspective

Firstly personally not a fan of mind games, i learnt early on this is the one area that men prefer to be told what to do, they dont understand the mind games therefore waste of time and effort playing them.

Having said that did play a few in my early teens and have plenty of female friends who do play them and think its fairly safe to say any female over the age of 16 will not play the "just want to be friends card" if they dont really mean that, this is because its main play is to 1. see the guys reaction or 2. make your self more of a challenge (aka more desirable), most females will have tried this by the time they are 15 and as a general it backfires and results in the bloke you really fancy backing off and calling you "mate" (being called mate by the bloke you really fancy is crushing to a 15 yr old girl) most girls will never play that card again after this has happened.

All in all go ahead and be her friend dont push for/expect any more than that and in the end she may change her mind (or be a female who hasnt learnt not to play games). Good luck hope it turns out ok for you

 

[ack]

She is willing to go out,so positive, you coulda gotta slap down.
Cinema ticket not gonna cost mega money.

Take her out,enjoy the night and see what happens.

 

[Gully]

I think Wardy hits the nail squarely on the head, there is nothing wrong with having another friend, female or otherwise. The bonus here is that whenever you go into the club she will greet you as such, surely this then makes you more attractive to other women, given that you are already on good terms with someone they know. This can then have the counter effect, if said female sees other women swarming around you then it may make her re-assess what she wants...if you get my drift. Sounds like you are onto a winner, whatever happens!

 

[Lush]

She's been flirting with you but is actually seeing someone else.

 

[backson]

If she's from Blackpool, then it's surely just a matter of time...

 

[eastlondonseagull]

She's been flirting with you but is actually seeing someone else.

Wondered that myself, tbh.

But as other people have said on here, an attractive female friend can do wonders when it comes to attracting other members of the opposite sex. Unless you're a bit camp, that is, in which case they'll all think you're gay (as has happened to one of my straight mates a number of times).

Just go out, have fun and see what happens. But try not to let yourself get too carried away (easier said than done, I know) emotionally, just in case the friendship thing becomes too hard for you and you want something that cannot be reciprocated.

.