cheshunt seagull
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 2,594
My Dad, collapsed and died in front of me, 38 years ago.[/QUOTE
I feel for you and I understand what that is like, the same thing happened to me 31 years ago.
My Dad, collapsed and died in front of me, 38 years ago.[/QUOTE
I feel for you and I understand what that is like, the same thing happened to me 31 years ago.
First was a suicide victim.
Was walking down the road having left work when two women came running out of a house distressed and screaming. At first I thought they were running away from someone.so I asked them if they were alright, and one of them spluttered out the words, "He's dead". I phoned 999 on my mobile and went inside the house. When I arrived at this room I saw a man lying on the floor with one of those blue nylon ropes around his neck. The two women, his wife and daughter, I discovered later had already cut him down after they had found him hanging in the shower. His face was purple, as were his lips and his tongue was protruding which at first I mistook for his bottom lip. The emergency services instructed me to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. I knew immediately it was futile but felt obliged to try just in case. When I tried to prise his mouth open it seemed that rigor mortis had set in. Anyway I did what I could, whilst all the time knowing instinctively that it was already too late, but at the same time I couldn't not try. Eventually the emergency services arrived and took over and pronounced him dead as soon as they saw him. I was taken to another bedroom to be questioned by the police. As they were talking to me I saw a photograph on a bedside cabinet. I was completely shocked by what I saw as I realised that the man in the photograph was the man lying dead in the other room, but the thing that shocked me the most was that I actually knew the man, not well, but to nod to and say hi to as I often used to pass him on my way to work. I used to see him most days so knew him by sight extremely well, and yet all the time I was with him just moments before, closer to him than I had ever been, I never once recognised him. I never realised that strangulation could so dramatically change your appearance. I almost felt a kind of guilt that I hadn't recognised him. It may sound strange but I had an urge to ask the policeman if I could go back in the room again to see the man for who he really was, as I thought it would help to reconcile my confusion and disturbance, but I never did actually make that request because I thought they might think I was a bit weird so I just left it. At the time I didn't think I was that badly affected by the experience, but a few years later I was in the shower myself and I thought about him and I just broke down. I think my own state of mind at the time was a bit fragile which probably contributed to my reaction. After that I went through a period where I constantly thought about him and was quite emotionally affected by it even though it was several years later. And every time I saw one of those blue nylon ropes I was reminded of him.
In Phuket a couple of years ago. We were stuck in traffic (nothing new there in Phuket). 4 of us heading to the top of the island and the traffic was way worse than normal taking about 45 minutes instead of the usual 10 to get through one of the many regular bottlenecks. We eventualy got to the cause of the holdups-a pick up had flipped on its roof, crossed the central reservation and there was a woman, hanging upside down, blood still coming from her head. The value on life is different in Asia I think.She had clearly been there a while but nobody had bothered covering her body...
Have seen more but that was the most upsetting.
Bloody hell mate. Respect for your efforts. That sounds horrific.
Repeatedly - open coffin wakes are the norm here still; but I also ended up on the scene of a fatal RTA (first car after the incident cars) and a failed attempt at resus of a homeless guy in a park.
Not sure if seeing the dead relatives in coffins as a kid desensitised me to the others or not.
Had a customer die in front of me ..breaking the news to his wife was worse
It used to be more common in the UK, as my post mentioned. It's funny but the Victorians were very open about death & funerals, but sex was tabboo, but now it's exactly the opposite.
This "seeing a dead person's face in a crowd" has happened to me several times in recent years. It is a bit frightening but it seems to fade with time.Many years ago I witnessed a fatal car crash and watched helplessly as the driver of one of the cars was trapped crushed by the steering wheel and he slowly passed away in front of us whilst we were waiting for the emergency services to arrive to cut him out of the wreckage. It all seemed very unreal and calm at the time like it was happening on tv or watching a stage play. It wasn't until I got home that the shock hit me and I couldn't stop blubbing, couldn't stop thinking about the poor man suffering and the family he'd left behind and wondering if there was any more we could have done for him. For months I couldn't get the image out of my head, strange thing was I kept thinking that I could see him briefly in a crowd or walking past when out and about and imagined I could see his face everywhere. Eventually though the memory faded and rarely think about it at all now but still get an odd feeling and pause for thought whenever I drive past where the incident happened. It definitely helps to talk to about it to others and get it out of your system after witnessing something like this.
You don't work in a brothel do you ?
Had a customer die in front of me ..breaking the news to his wife was worse
That is pretty much the norm in 'the land of smiles'. Several times saw motorcyclists dead lying in the street. Though often private ambulances (pick ups) rush to the scene, to later claim cash for return of the body. Really is a different world.