i had strict instruction i wasn't not allowed on to the playing surface
Someone out there has scored a first GOAL, rammed that football firmly between the posts and bulgified the onion bag, you can be sure.
If I'd put up the goals, first thing I'd be thinking about.
I might be wrong but I'm sure I saw a photo of the stadium - think it was the lines being painted or something like that - and there were two construction guys watching, and near them on the floor was a football. I can't find said photo unfortunately to check