[Humour] Harmless work pranks

[Insel affe]

Building sites are the best for pranks, seen so many, I love this though.

 

[Wes Tupper]

Once worked in an office where you had to fill in forms for everything and these had to be signed off by the office head. One Monday morning one of the newbie secretaries walked in, having coloured her hair over the weekend. I asked her if she had completed a “change of appearance request form” to which she replied that she hadn’t. We quickly knocked up an appropriate form and a folder of “previous” applications (to grow a moustache, wear an earring, have a tattoo, etc). We then gave the girl a blank form, which she duly completed before knocking on the manager’s door to get it signed off. All found it hilarious, except the girl and the manager.

 

[Midget]

Lots of office ones. Rotating the screen and BSOD screensavers, yes. And switching round the key tops worked wonders for those who typed slowly with one finger.

One office had loose shelves on the desks, a few strategic pieces of fishwire and when they pulled their chair out *everything* would go off the back, work files, in-trays, photos, toys, pen pots etc with an almighty crash. Card confetti in customer files was another, great at meetings.

One place, we hacked an instant messaging system so those in the know could send a random insult to flash up at the top of someone's screen. It usually happened as they were typing and disappeared when they hit the next key, before they could show anyone. People got angry about it for years but never worked it out.

None of it matches the famous "kipper in the switchboard" incident at the old tax office (not involved, but I know who was...). They had to call BT out. What made it was the note, I really hope you can read this grainy copy as it's classic office bellcheesery.

 

[jackalbion]

Hiding an egg timer under someone's desk, until someone hid in the microwave and forgot it was there, and almost killed us all.

 

[Bodian]

Back in the old days, things that were done on a set timetable (such as standing orders and so on - it was a bank) were put on notecards and stored in a diary-style filing system. You'd get out the cards for that day and do whatever it was, then put it back in the diary system for the next appropriate date.

We created a note card for the office junior, frayed it about a bit, creased it a bit, spilt a bit of tea on it - and so on. So it looked a good 15 years old. The task on it was to count all the light bulbs in the building - and it was completed with 15 years worth of dates, signatues and counts in different hand-writing. Then placed in the diary.

Imagine our entertainment when a week later the new lad in the office was seen wandering around the building looking upwards and counting. Imagine our further entertainment when however he counted the bulbs, he was always two short of the actual number (and the number that had been 'present' in every one of the previous 15 years). Imagine our hilarity when he followed the instructions on the bottom of the card to report any shortfall to the deputy manager - a man who had little sense of humour.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Saw some belters in the Navy.

Sending sprogs for tartan breadcrumbs for the scotch eggs.

Go and get your tropical raincoats from stores.

Sign up for the Malta dog shoot( Malta dog is Navy slang for the trots.)

When I was leader of a mess deck we had a young Yorkshireman junior cook who thought he knew everything.

After about a month a lot of us were fed up with him, so, I got the ship’s clerks to mock up a ‘bill’ for bunk light usage.
Basically, each pit had its own personal light, and the bill was for each person to pay for the electricity used.

Sharkys bill was twice what everyone else was charged. He was told he would have to pay his bill at the end of the deployment .
He moaned so much cos his was higher than everyone else’s, so, whenever anyone in the mess went past his pit, they’d turn on his bunk light.
He got so wound up about it he went to see the Master at Arms to put in a complaint that someone in the mess was picking on him as his bunk light was always on and it was costing him hundreds of pounds.

We told him the truth the day before we got back to Pompey.
Poor kid, he didn’t know whether to be angry, happy, embarrassed or what.

In the days before shredders, we had large paper bags for confidential waste to be taken to an incinerator. The bags were large enough to be placed over someone's head and then stapled to the hem of a WRNS skirt. Of course, she couldn't take it off of her head without her skirt lifting up!

I was fortunate it never happened to me, but heard of several instances, where it did happen.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

In our office, a security tag, the sort seen on a bottle of supermarket spirits, can do the rounds, being hidden deep in someone's bag or coat pocket. Twice I've set off the alarm walking into Tesco when it's been slipped into a side pocket of my small backpack. It gets to the point where everyone takes everything with them whenever they leave their desk to make a drink etc.

 

[Swimboy64]

Skyhooks, left handed paintbrush, or navy cake, anyone?

(Not that I'm offering navy cake).

Any porthole duff Harry?

 

[ROSM]

This almost got me fired on the day that I got promoted (luckily to another part of the country)

One of my team had got a new job working on marketing with the role of amending customer rates based on Base rate movement.

So we (together with her new boss) decided to play a joke on her whereby we put a spoof announcement out (in those days someone would print it out and circulate it for people to sign to show they'd read it) saying that 'due to the govts impasse with europe on beef movement related to the cjd scare, pressure on uk retail and farmers necessitated a 2 percentage point increase in the Base rate'

This wouldn't look believable now but it was in the days of john major and just after base rate had gone from 8 to 9 to 10 to 12 to 15 and back to 12 in the course of 5 hours just 12 months earlier.

We got the target to sign (just after she'd been to the pub) and the minutes later her new boss rang her to say she needed to work Sunday to set customer rates effectively

We let this stew for an hour while she effed and cursed.

Then before we could tell her, all hell broke loose from the top floor. As my general manager, marched down demanding to know more about this base rate rise and why his system hadn't flagged it.

You see after she signed it, nobody bothered to take it back in and it ended up on the MDs pile and he believed it and marched round the exec floor telling everyone.

I had to fess up to the GM who took it very well. Even slightly laughing. He then decided that the real victim should be the MD and ribbed him mercilessly for being taken in by such an amateur prank. It made him feel better but didn't do much for me as the MD decided I should be disciplined. Only an intervention from another colleague he had a letchy crush on pleading for mercy on my behalf and claiming she was partly responsible saved my skin.

30 mins later I got offered (and accepted the promotion). I can still remember the response from the MD when I told him I was leaving 'not f***ing soon enough you ****'

Fair to say he didn't attend my leaving do. But the GM did so read into that what you will.

 

[portlock seagull]

In our office, a security tag, the sort seen on a bottle of supermarket spirits, can do the rounds, being hidden deep in someone's bag or coat pocket. Twice I've set off the alarm walking into Tesco when it's been slipped into a side pocket of my small backpack. It gets to the point where everyone takes everything with them whenever they leave their desk to make a drink etc.

That’s just annoying, not a prank.

 

[Weststander]

Lots of office ones. Rotating the screen and BSOD screensavers, yes. And switching round the key tops worked wonders for those who typed slowly with one finger.

One office had loose shelves on the desks, a few strategic pieces of fishwire and when they pulled their chair out *everything* would go off the back, work files, in-trays, photos, toys, pen pots etc with an almighty crash. Card confetti in customer files was another, great at meetings.

One place, we hacked an instant messaging system so those in the know could send a random insult to flash up at the top of someone's screen. It usually happened as they were typing and disappeared when they hit the next key, before they could show anyone. People got angry about it for years but never worked it out.

None of it matches the famous "kipper in the switchboard" incident at the old tax office (not involved, but I know who was...). They had to call BT out. What made it was the note, I really hope you can read this grainy copy as it's classic office bellcheesery.

We mucked around with those instant messages, I think the product was called Stickies? Soon after, banned by the fun devoid owner.

 

[Weststander]

A minor prank, but it worked better than intended. We used a coin to turn the gents loo to “Engaged”, the only gents on that floor. The target, desperate for a p, spent part of an evening banging on the door with “Is anyone in there?” etc, eventually lying on the landing floor trying to see under the door for signs of life.

Too lazy or dogmatic to go down two flights to use the loo below.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

A minor prank, but it worked better than intended. We used a coin to turn the gents loo to “Engaged”, the only gents on that floor. The target, desperate for a p, spent part of an evening banging on the door with “Is anyone in there?” etc, eventually lying on the landing floor trying to see under the door for signs of life.

Too lazy or dogmatic to go down two flights to use the loo below.

Exactly the same on our floor, using the coin trick because people from other floors come down to use ours purely for lengthy number 2s rather than literally 'shitting on their own doorstep' Very annoying. Along with the coin lock trick we also aggressively rattle the door handle to irritate whoever is inside. Pathetic admittedly, but satisfying too

 

[Happy Exile]

We mucked around with those instant messages, I think the product was called Stickies? Soon after, banned by the fun devoid owner.

You can replicate a little of the automated fun by using the autocorrect feature in Word if someone leaves their machine unattended for a minute or two.

 

[GloryDays]

I thought it was harmless at the time but I once blew a balloon up and got someone to inhale it under the impression it was helium and when they tried to do a silly voice it was just normal and they had consumed my breath.

In a post Covid world probably a 2-year sentence.

 

[Baldseagull]

In a reverse of the normal teasing of apprentices, two apprentices set up their supervisor for this one. One lad went to the supervisor, and told him he wanted him to have a word with the other one, who was using a table brick saw, (a large disc cutter that sprays water onto the blade to keep dust down), in an unsafe manner. As the supervisor approached and the guy using the saw spotted him, he pulled the blade down onto the brick and the fingers of the marigold glove he had stuffed with pug and was holding at the end of his sleeve.
Unfortunately the supervisor fainted at the sight of what he believed was one of his charges cutting his fingers off, and banged his head on the floor quite badly.

 

[METALMICKY]

Olden but golden and surprisingly it still worked. In a previous life I was doing the admin for some local authority resource officers ( same as social workers but without the degree) . We had one really nice female one who was a little ditzy. Whilst out on a client visit part of my role was to take her telephone messages. One bored Friday afternoon when she returned to the office I mentioned that that she needed to call back the secretary of a Mr Hugh Jarce who's name was Jenny Talia! Even when I put it on a Post It note she didn't cotton on. Much hilarity ensued when she called across the office " is that right I need to call Jenny Talia in relation to Hugh Jarce?" She asked twice more before the penny dropped

 

[METALMICKY]

You can replicate a little of the automated fun by using the autocorrect feature in Word if someone leaves their machine unattended for a minute or two.

Indeed. We had a rather unpleasant temp manager covering some maternity leave. We set it that every time they typed the word ' and ' the Word auto correct would change it to ' arse '. Not being Word savvy we suggested they must have been on some dodgy website and inadvertently downloaded the notorious ' Arse ' virus!

 

[Beanstalk]

Not an office prank per se, but when I was in my final year of sixth form (18), there was an extremely uptight girl who was quite judgemental about those who didn't follow her work ethic/lifestyle choices (non-drinker, studious etc.). One day she left her college account logged in so I went into Word and changed the autocorrect settings so that when she wrote "the" it changed to "poopy poo" and space to "bum bum". She was clueless until she sat down to work on her essay.

Never seen anyone so confused in my life.

 

[jackanada]

Doing a levels is sort of work.
Spent a quiet lunchtime cutting out snippets from a hardcore jazz mag and placing them into a few other peoples textbooks.
The thin shiny bongo mag material turns out to have great holding power placed close to the spine and is undetectable unless you're on the right page.
Unexpected showers of split beaver were experienced for months after.