[Football] Guess the next headline generated by our near neighbours?

[Perry Milkins]

"Benteke and Duane to appear as the late arriving contestants in Celebrity get me Out of Here?"

 

[Perry Milkins]

"The HF to collaborate with the Wurzels for this years Xmas hit?" " Whoa, oooh aarh"

 

[Frankie]

Benteke finally reveals that he has a twin sister and since leaving Liverpool she has been kindly filling in for him until he adjusts to Croydon's atmosphere and outstanding architecture , here's to 5 more seasons of his sister filling in .

 

[Postman Pat]

Crystal Palace to be fined after revealing that Benteke is being paid on a goals scored basis and is therefore earning below the national minimum wage.

 

[JBizzle]

HF disbanded due to increase in cost from concession to adult tickets. Pocket money said to "not cover price now the majority have turned 16"

 

[The Gem]

"Usain Bolt comes in as a free agent to fill Zaha's hole" - Usain Bolt mysteriously released from Mariners to fill the Zaha-hole on £160k/week, only for Palace to realise that they've named their 25 man strong squad and can't play him.

The only "hole" that needs filling is that SH1T HOLE called Croydon. Land of the inbred.

 

[studio150]

In a reversal to an earlier visit to the Amex, CPFC fans break out of the ground after Murray completes his hattrick inside the first 15 minutes.

Croydon Advertiser headline

Borstal Breakout

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

PALACE ALLOW FLASKS (In an attempt to fill empty seats!)

 

[The Large One]

"Holmesdale Fanatics recruit new drummer to form prog rock supergroup..."

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

"Usain Bolt comes in as a free agent to fill Zaha's hole" - Usain Bolt mysteriously released from Mariners to fill the Zaha-hole on £160k/week, only for Palace to realise that they've named their 25 man strong squad and can't play him.

Usain is a big lad.........could be quite a stretch.....

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

In the spirit of [MENTION=435]Stat Brother[/MENTION]'s original observation:

Benteke aiming to aim better to better the Palace outcomes better.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Zaha to release the laughing policeman song, entitled Hahahahahahahahahaha.
In homage to the Sussex constabulary.

 

[The Large One]

"Dummy Guy to sue Hodgson for plagiarism..."

 

[lawros left foot]

Palace face major funding loss as Government withdraws Child Benefit from club after Holmsdale Fanatics walkout.




Only reliant on Manager Roy Hodgsons old age pension now.

 

[Taybha]

Selhurst Park to be renamed in massive new sponsorship deal .

 

[father_and_son]

Crystal Palace's plans for improvements to Selhurst halted after being told "That's not what the make-a-wish foundation do"

 

[The Large One]

"Selhurst Park suffers more collateral damage after locals continue to point and throw rocks at the moon..."

 

[The Large One]

"Crystal Palace fans found to have been made up of at least one-fifth horse meat..."

 

[The Large One]

"'Oh, how I wish I was a Chilean miner..' yells despondent Benteke..."

 

[The Large One]

"Selhurst sold for marmalade fracking project..."