[Football] Guess the next headline generated by our near neighbours?

[Stat Brother]

As 'palace tell players to pay up to keep playing' feels like it's been spewed out by a random word generator, what can we expect next?

 

[AmexRuislip]

As 'palace tell players to pay up to keep playing' feels like it's been spewed out by a random word generator, what can we expect next?

The club will start asking the first team players, to pay the club, what they think they're worth to be in the first 11!

 

[Horses Arse]

"Usain Bolt comes in as a free agent to fill Zaha's hole" - Usain Bolt mysteriously released from Mariners to fill the Zaha-hole on £160k/week, only for Palace to realise that they've named their 25 man strong squad and can't play him.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

The club will start asking the first team players, to pay the club, what they think they're worth to be in the first 11!

The next headline would then be "Christian Benteke files for bankruptcy after paying £200k per week to wander round a very quiet park in Croydon"

 

[Cozzy]

Palace to install anti - trip grass with better gripping power to stop players diving and winning free kicks and penalties against them ... no wait that will back fire

 

[wakeytom]

With near Neighbours I thought you were talking about Crawley

 

[timbha]

Palace sign free scoring Dobbie

 

[Gwylan]

"Prince Charming: ridicule is nothing to be scared of"

 

[Pavilionaire]

"ZAHA TRAINING GROUND INJURY: THE TRUTH"

"Winger's groin strain caused by free kick mannequin. The winger landed awkwardly after allegedly being shoved to the ground. Manager Roy Hodgson was said to be incensed by this reckless act while the club have fined the mannequin who has been made to train with the youth team cones."

 

[LowKarate]

Parish replaces Raab as Brexit Minister, stating “We need more trade with North Korea!”

 

[Mo Gosfield]

With near Neighbours I thought you were talking about Crawley

Indeed.....and with Palace, you must be talking about Millwall, Charlton, West Ham, Tottenham, Arsenal, Chelsea, Fulham, Brentford, QPR, Southend, Gillingham, Barnet, Watford, Luton, Stevenage, Wycombe and Reading, who are all closer to Selhurst Park than BHA.

 

[Mo Gosfield]

Palace to install anti - trip grass with better gripping power to stop players diving and winning free kicks and penalties against them ... no wait that will back fire

Ouch....clearly you don't spend much time watching BHA and the antics of Knockaert and Murray.

 

[Blue Valkyrie]

W'Crystal Palace don't actually own their Men's team'. No siree ..

 

[rippleman]

The next headline would then be "Christian Benteke files for bankruptcy after paying £200k per week to wander round a very quiet park in Croydon"

Each to their own, of course. But for me, the best NSC laugh of the year so far!

Classic.

Thank you

 

[The Large One]

"Palace fan sets fire to his own sister as a divorce settlement..."

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

PALACE TO GROUND SHARE WITH BROMLEY U12s

 

[Giraffe]

Stand stalls as money runs out.

Zaha plays despite broken leg

 

[Lush]

Palace stand down pyro dogs

 

[The Large One]

"Steve Parish to be the new Bond girl..."

 

[The Large One]

"New main stand at Selhurst to be built out of wishes..."