[Misc] Great things about your other half.

[AmexRuislip]

As said on the other dark side thread.
My mrs has never really complained about anything TBF.
















(perhaps only whilst I'm on here at times )

 

[Simster]

My wife and I have had our issues in 20 years of marriage but she is the most honest person I have ever met. She never lies and is 100% dependable in a way that I am not (and I don't think I'm particularly bad). She works hard, puts up with some of my shortfalls and happens to be the best mother I think I could ever imagine for my kids. Overall she is a lovely woman.

 

[Megazone]

This thread has ruined my appetite

 

[Wellesley]

Big Knockers.

 

[Two Professors]

Put up with me for over 40 years!

 

[dazzer6666]

Following on from the 'annoying habits' thread, here's some NSC love for our partners. Some of you have met my wife and it's common knowledge that I'm batting way above my average with her.

I had a knee reconstruction operation three weeks ago which has left me unable to walk without crutches since then. I'm in a full leg brace and not allowed to bear any weight on the affected knee.

This has constrained me far worse than I'd envisaged, and my wife has to help me dress, shower, I cannot cook, drive or even sit in the front of car as I'm lanky. This is quite embarrassing in many regards, as we all consider ourselves to be independent and losing that does cause some self-reflection, but also an appreciation that this is a temporary matter and for others it is more long term. So far so good, I'm appreciative of all the help she's given, but I think most of us would expect our partners to do the same.

I'm also taking medications following the operation, which have as a side affect stopped me going for a POO on a regular basis, and when I do it's big, smelly and hard, a bit like Neil Ruddock but in turd form.

To save some self worth I've managed to hop to the toilet whenever needed, and developed a sit down and wipe technique that whilst time consuming, seemed to work, and have permitted an element of self dignity.

Last week however the wheels fell off. Feeling the urge to have a sit down adventure after five days egg bound, I made my way to the toilet, dropped a depth charge, wiped, flushed and then managed to stand up, only to be faced by a jobbie that can best be described as a brownberg, 9/10 below the water and could possible sink the Titanic if it was in open water.

I then flushed again, again and again, but this was a non-moving number two, and was taking no encouragement to shift. I then, very embarrassed, had to call my wife and explain the situation, being on crutches I couldn't do much more myself.

It's fairly humiliating to have to show your PLOP to the woman you love, she tried flushing a few times herself but to no avail. She then showed her true love by popping down to the kitchen and cutting the plop with a pair of chopsticks* a couple of times (whilst wearing rubber gloves and trying not to gag on the fumes). This woeked successfully and the brown flotilla then was able to sail around the U-bend to its proper destination.

I can only describe her act as one of true love, cutting up your partner's Douglas Hurds into more manageable chunks is not part of the contrat when you walk up the aisle together, but I've concluded that she'd definitely a keeper.

Here's to TOP TOP BIRDS

*although I was slightly nervous when she cooked chicken fried rice later that day and served it with chopsticks.

Surely you could have poked it down with the end of the crutch ?

 

[pearl]

Surely you could have poked it down with the end of the crutch ?

that's gross!

 

[BensGrandad]

If I have mislaid anything and say I cant find it she always finds it but then has to add just use your eyes thats what God gave you them for. Her greatest attribute is that she has been my right hand in everything for the past 53 years.

 

[Exile]

It'll probably take MRs EP that long to buy new chopsticks.

I'm not convinced that she will ever want to eat with chopsticks, ever again.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

If I have mislaid anything and say I cant find it she always finds it but then has to add just use your eyes thats what God gave you them for. Her greatest attribute is that she has been my right hand in everything for the past 53 years.

...everything...?

 

[vegster]

Mrs V has the most beautiful smile and a heart to match.

 

[Gwylan]

Mine is the most emotionally literate person I've ever met. She always knows exactly the right thing to say or do when the circumstances aren't propitious - often saving me from making a fool of myself. She's also extremely honest - will never lie - is a brilliant mother, a fascinating conversationalist and has beautiful blue eyes.

Been together for 18 years and still going strong

 

[HAILSHAM SEAGULL]

Following on from the 'annoying habits' thread, here's some NSC love for our partners. Some of you have met my wife and it's common knowledge that I'm batting way above my average with her.

I had a knee reconstruction operation three weeks ago which has left me unable to walk without crutches since then. I'm in a full leg brace and not allowed to bear any weight on the affected knee.

This has constrained me far worse than I'd envisaged, and my wife has to help me dress, shower, I cannot cook, drive or even sit in the front of car as I'm lanky. This is quite embarrassing in many regards, as we all consider ourselves to be independent and losing that does cause some self-reflection, but also an appreciation that this is a temporary matter and for others it is more long term. So far so good, I'm appreciative of all the help she's given, but I think most of us would expect our partners to do the same.

I'm also taking medications following the operation, which have as a side affect stopped me going for a POO on a regular basis, and when I do it's big, smelly and hard, a bit like Neil Ruddock but in turd form.

To save some self worth I've managed to hop to the toilet whenever needed, and developed a sit down and wipe technique that whilst time consuming, seemed to work, and have permitted an element of self dignity.

Last week however the wheels fell off. Feeling the urge to have a sit down adventure after five days egg bound, I made my way to the toilet, dropped a depth charge, wiped, flushed and then managed to stand up, only to be faced by a jobbie that can best be described as a brownberg, 9/10 below the water and could possible sink the Titanic if it was in open water.

I then flushed again, again and again, but this was a non-moving number two, and was taking no encouragement to shift. I then, very embarrassed, had to call my wife and explain the situation, being on crutches I couldn't do much more myself.

It's fairly humiliating to have to show your PLOP to the woman you love, she tried flushing a few times herself but to no avail. She then showed her true love by popping down to the kitchen and cutting the plop with a pair of chopsticks* a couple of times (whilst wearing rubber gloves and trying not to gag on the fumes). This woeked successfully and the brown flotilla then was able to sail around the U-bend to its proper destination.

I can only describe her act as one of true love, cutting up your partner's Douglas Hurds into more manageable chunks is not part of the contrat when you walk up the aisle together, but I've concluded that she'd definitely a keeper.

Here's to TOP TOP BIRDS






*although I was slightly nervous when she cooked chicken fried rice later that day and served it with chopsticks.

Message to [MENTION=310]ditchy[/MENTION]
If you are staying with El Pres as you mentioned last Saturday, do not have a Chinese Take Away on Saturday evening, and fall for the ploy of using chopsticks.

 

[kentgully]

Put up with my insane ideas for 40 years

 

[lawros left foot]

Mrs LLF is a diamond. We work together 6 days of the week, and I can honestly say, we don’t get fed up with each other.

She also literally saved my life when I had a cardiac arrest in my sleep, and has been the strongest, bravest person I have ever known in the following 11 years of numerous cardiac arrests,operations, and complications, that I have had.
Thanks sweetheart.

 

[daveinplzen]

She is smart and drop dead gorgeous. Not something I expected to happen to me.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

He makes me laugh, but is sensitive enough to know when I don't want to be jollied up. He doesn't have the best of health himself, so he understands when I struggle.
He's my best friend.
Most importantly, he became an Albion fan, not to please me, but because he fell in love with the club too.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

She buys me beer, she loves me.
Plus a host of other things too numerous to mention

 

[Guinness Boy]

she has been my right hand in everything for the past 53 years.

That's probably where your Omsung Phine is.

 

[jackanada]

The "have you had the heating on thread" confirms my belief that my missus has the particularly rare quality of being extremely reluctant to turn the heating on or up.
She has many other fine qualities but I think that's the rarest.