Golfing Terms

[The Timekeeper]

I play alot of golf and hear different terms for types of shots played, here are a few.... can anyone add to this?

A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A David Trimble - tentative prod
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mand elson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good
runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be
A mother-in-law - want to hit it hard - but know you can't

 

[Jerryatric]

A Saddam Hussein: Out of one bunker into another

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

hahah as a new golfer... thank you very much!

 

[Hannibal smith]

Its missed out a short putt which is otherwise known as a Bon jovi. From living on a Prayer (whooo-oh We're halfway there).

Also a George Michael (in the bushes) and one we used locally In the Ricki (Lake) or when in Portugal in the Rickky (Villia)

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

Not forgetting
A long iron - Michael Barrymore
A couple that our little expat community use to annoy our colonial cousins[that's why we do it, obviously]

A lost ball - A Lance Armstrong
Took forever to come down - A Payne Stewart
A great shot - A Lee Harvey Oswald
A poor shot - A Dick Cheyney
A bad bounce off the bank - A Dale Ehernhart
Hit a tree - A Sonny Bono

As they don't know shit about footie we changed the nasty 5 footer to A Rosie O'Donald, and a fat iron would be A Richard Simmons.

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

Not forgetting
A long iron - Michael Barrymore
A couple that our little expat community use to annoy our colonial cousins[that's why we do it, obviously]

A lost ball - A Lance Armstrong
Took forever to come down - A Payne Stewart
A great shot - A Lee Harvey Oswald
A poor shot - A Dick Cheyney
A bad bounce off the bank - A Dale Ehernhart
Hit a tree - A Sonny Bono
A wayward tee shot just becomes Friendly fire.
As they don't know shit about footie we changed the nasty 5 footer to A Rosie O'Donald, and a fat iron would be A Richard Simmons.

 

[simmo]

A Heather Mills - A putt with no legs that falls short.

 

[Everest]

A Saddam Hussein: Out of one bunker into another

I thought that was for a shot having a long hang time.

 

[Ding Dong !]

The Sister Shagger - You're up there but you know you shouldn't be !!

 

[Dave the OAP]

we have a saying in cricket......hit the ball, heads to the boundry but just stops short


A Douglas.....Douglas Bader......no legs

 

[Jesus Gul]

A first tee Motown (to a group of nervous hackers)

The four tops!