[Help] Gold Digger Advice

[Live by the sea]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

 

[dazzer6666]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

Why would you need a solicitor to simply read a will to see if she’s in it or not ? And why risk making a seemingly happy old man miserable if she decides to clear off as a result of being confronted ?

 

[East Staffs Gull]

Not saying that this is morally right but, if the uncle is well off, some IHT planning and action now might reduce the size of his estate that is “at risk”.

 

[Seagull58]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

I think this is very bad advice.

 

[Seagull]

Loving the responses so far thank you. Spat the dummy several times!

I’d say, if she’s prepared to nosh of an 80+ year old she’s entitled to pretty much all the money in the world.

Top prize Kosh! Hard to disagree …

Some questions, clarifications.

Sounds like the family needs to introduce a NDP.

What is an NDP?

This. If he ends up marrying her, he’ll need a new one too as marriage invalidates a will made before it (unless expressly written in contemplation of that marriage).

Thanks good to know. He has got a will but may change it. I imagine a co-habiting person might also have some rights, but don’t know what.

It seems from the OP that she has form.

Yes that’s right and does not seem to care who knows! Almost like it's a job! Ha ha.

And I realise I missed an important bit out. The kids don’t really need to hang on for inheritance money, they are doing fine, relatively well-off.
It’s more the symbolic side and the galling fact that this woman is driving a wedge between them and their Dad. She’s in his ear, and he’s largely doing what she wants.

I agree that ultimately he should do what he likes, but the family just want to know what possible protections there might be to suggest if this person turns out not to have his best interests at heart.

 

[Seagull58]

An octogenarian uncle, still got his marbles, currently doing all right after his wife died a few years ago, has picked up a girlfriend who is 25 years younger. He's a strong character, a difficult ******* in some ways and doesn't think it's a problem, thinks he's immortal, quite independent, does not feel vulnerable, enjoying larging it in his 80s! Good on him in one way.

The family are a tad concerned as this woman is quite brazen, a selfish sort perhaps, seems to have serious gold digger credentials and is quite happy to tell you about it! Two dead husbands, plenty of resulting cash, and six disinherited step-kids under her belt, with one deathbed marriage to achieve some of that! Bold as brass, and an old as the hills story I guess.

My uncle is quite well off and you might expect his kids to benefit at some point, but they are seeing the writing on the wall, with this woman's arrival, and don't know what if anything they can or should do about it. He looks as the if he could be her next "victim", but he won't have a word said against her. Meanwhile she says she's thinking of selling her place and moving in with him.

Maybe none of anyone else's business but, murder aside, any advice, legal or otherwise, from the NSC cognoscenti?

My advice would be for his children to have a private conversation with him, ask him if he has made a will and discuss inheritance planning. If he is prepared to have the discussion they will find out what his current will says (he may even give them a copy) and they should make a note of it. They will then be better informed as and when the situation develops.

Edit: having read your response above, and having been through a fairly similar situation, it would be a good idea for the kids to get a copy of the will and get some legal advice concerning possible future will changes as a result of pressure or coercion, particularly if he becomes mentally and psychologically vulnerable. Her track record is very relevant to the legal discussion..

 

[Cheshire Cat]

It is a serious issue regardless of the flippancy above

https://www.wealthbriefing.com/html/article.php?id=182072#.YmPunNrTXkw

 

[Me and my Monkey]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

If my niece got a solicitor to check my will to see if it meets her approval I'd be... well, I don't know what I'd be. I'd imagine that's illegal anyway, certainly unethical.

 

[Baldseagull]

I would ask the old boy if he has made a will, and that if he or his deceased wife, had wanted to pass any inheritance to their Children, he may need to make one to ensure that.
He may be happy to leave all to his new lady, but would his deceased wife have wanted the kids cut out?

 

[jonny.rainbow]

This thread reminded me of this scene from Derek.

 

[m@goo]

He probably wants to leave stuff to his kids. If he doesn't, that's cool, he shouldn't. But if he does, then what's wrong with enjoying his life with this new lady, and leaving his money to his kids after?

The issue is if she then tries to turn his mind against the kids, and get him to leave it to her. It seems from the OP that she has form.

The guy is in his 80s. If he doesn't know his own mind by now he never will. Perhaps he's fully aware what she's like and just wants to live before he dies.

 

[raymondo]

He may leave it all to Cancer Research

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

Probably worth cracking on with her once this has played out

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Loving the responses so far thank you. Spat the dummy several times!
Top prize Kosh! Hard to disagree …

Some questions, clarifications.

What is an NDP?

Thanks good to know. He has got a will but may change it. I imagine a co-habiting person might also have some rights, but don’t know what.

Yes that’s right and does not seem to care who knows! Almost like it's a job! Ha ha.

And I realise I missed an important bit out. The kids don’t really need to hang on for inheritance money, they are doing fine, relatively well-off.
It’s more the symbolic side and the galling fact that this woman is driving a wedge between them and their Dad. She’s in his ear, and he’s largely doing what she wants.

I agree that ultimately he should do what he likes, but the family just want to know what possible protections there might be to suggest if this person turns out not to have his best interests at heart.

No dickheads Policy

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I've just found myself in a similar sort of situation only the brazen hussy, in this instance, is an NHS Care Home looking to fleece my mum a grand per WEEK to look after her.
After mum had a severe stoke last November, Dad has remained at the family home but if he now dies before mum it's likely his will [not seen it, don't want to, none of my business really] leaves everything to his wife [my mum] of 70 years, which, depending on how long mum lives on for, will soon drain down any inheritance at a rate of £50+k per year. Although she is 88, she might go on a good while yet. Her needs are such that we can't look after her at home. Dad is 94.

Slightly different scenario here but I've set my expectation to a zero inheritance now - then if anything happens to materialise in the next 10 years, it's a bonus.
Also, don't think my mum is truly "happy" in the situation she now finds herself [total loss of independence].
Wouldn't wish this situation on anyone ....

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Get a solicitor to check his will and make sure the girlfriend is not in it . Tell him your concerns and dont hide the fact you think she is a gold digger and has past experience at going it . Approach her in front of family members and tell her you want her to leave your uncle alone .

A bizzare suggestion .... how's he meant to get a copy of the will ? He's only entitled to see it when his Uncle dies and only then if he an executor.

 

[bhafc99]

You need to get more creative.

Ask yourself: what would Hollywood do with this?

In the movie version, the scammed would scam the scammer. There’d be a major retributive twist, the seeds of which had been sowed a long time back.

For example: get an obscure member of the family, someone the Gold-Digger hasn’t met yet, to start inveigling their way into her life.

Remember the Tinder Swindler dude? Do something like that. Throw money at impressing the Gold-Digger, make it look like you’re a financial genius, maybe in crypto or something she’s unlikely to understand, and make the Gold-Digger desperate to share in your success. But never ever hard sell to her. Appear almost reluctant. Start small. Begrudgingly agree to invest a small amount for her, but then hand her stunning returns.

Over time, slowly slowly manoeuvre her into a position where she’ll happily sign over her entire bank balance to you. This might take years - as long as your elderly relative lives, in the movie, of course.

So then when he does finally die, and she inherits the lot and thinks she’s triumphed, you swoop. She signs it all over to you, and you do a Keyzer Zoze vanishing act with the loot, before - in the emotional final scene - sharing it back with all your disinherited relatives.

 

[maffew]

I think this is very bad advice.

I suspect it's a joke? Cant be real advice imo

 

[Cheshire Cat]

I don't think you a stripped competely bare. I think they leave about £23,250 capital, but the fees are means tested.

There won't be much left as the capital probably includes the value of the house. Th local authority will skin you (or your parents in this case) for every penny it can.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/

 

[Nitram]

I've just found myself in a similar sort of situation only the brazen hussy, in this instance, is an NHS Care Home looking to fleece my mum a grand per WEEK to look after her.
After mum had a severe stoke last November, Dad has remained at the family home but if he now dies before mum it's likely his will [not seen it, don't want to, none of my business really] leaves everything to his wife [my mum] of 70 years, which, depending on how long mum lives on for, will soon drain down any inheritance at a rate of £50+k per year. Although she is 88, she might go on a good while yet. Her needs are such that we can't look after her at home. Dad is 94.

Slightly different scenario here but I've set my expectation to a zero inheritance now - then if anything happens to materialise in the next 10 years, it's a bonus.
Also, don't think my mum is truly "happy" in the situation she now finds herself [total loss of independence].
Wouldn't wish this situation on anyone ....

Difficult situation when parents age, mine have both passed and so has my wife’s mother and aunt. If you can I would look at a lasting power of attorney as it can make a difficult situation easier especially if you are the person who would be dealing with the estate eventually.