Gary Speed dies aged 42

[Napper]

Not really a time to speculate, is it?

well yeah of course it is. The pub full of specualtion , the papers , the celebritys saying nothing in life so they are speculating , oh and come to work and every one speculating so yes i think it is a time for it.

Respect should remain and thoughts with family , speculation is fine if you stick to that rule.

 

[Fungus]

Respect should remain and thoughts with family , speculation is fine if you stick to that rule.

Speculating about his wife is hardly showing respect and thought for his family, is it?

 

[Wozza]

I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. *sigh*

 

[Tooting Gull]

One thing it puts to bed for good is this idea that if you've got money, you can't be depressed. Money can certainly help ward off SOME of the things that cause depression (ie you won't lose your house, don't have to worry about paying bills, and can afford to go on holiday). Speed was wealthy, popular, talented and successful. But that was no defence against what was going on in his head.

 

[Braders]

Can I just take this opportunity to shout out to any and all of my friends, if this is how any of you feel, PLEASE, tell me. A quiet word, a text, we'll meet for a quiet meal / drink and talk it over, I'd tell no-one else, if that's what you want. Just PLEASE turn to me, as it would be in no way a "burden" to be there for you, but the feeling of having NOT been there for you when you needed someone, would haunt me forever.

Well said mate, and likewise

 

[The Large One]

well yeah of course it is. The pub full of specualtion , the papers , the celebritys saying nothing in life so they are speculating , oh and come to work and every one speculating so yes i think it is a time for it.

Respect should remain and thoughts with family , speculation is fine if you stick to that rule.

And what value is there in speculating?

 

[Acker79]

And what value is there in speculating?

When something so unexpected happens, people need answers, and in the absence of actual facts they take comfort in speculation. The comfort it offers some people is the value of it.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

One thing it puts to bed for good is this idea that if you've got money, you can't be depressed. Money can certainly help ward off SOME of the things that cause depression (ie you won't lose your house, don't have to worry about paying bills, and can afford to go on holiday). Speed was wealthy, popular, talented and successful. But that was no defence against what was going on in his head.

agreed.........depression doesn't give a shit how 'successful' you are.......just like any illness

winston churchill, beyonce, halle berry, jim carrey, agatha christie, charles dickens, nathalie imbruglia, angelina jolie, abraham lincoln, joan miro, ewan mcgregor, mozart, uma thurman

just some of the hundreds upon hundreds of 'successful' people that either have or had depression

 

[Tooting Gull]

When something so unexpected happens, people need answers, and in the absence of actual facts they take comfort in speculation. The comfort it offers some people is the value of it.

I wouldn't say the casual observer "needs" answers, that's more important for family and close friends. I would own up to being interested in what makes a man with everything apparently going for him do that, but since any blind guesses could be wide of the mark, personally I'm happy to wait for the truth (which won't be long in coming).

 

[Acker79]

I wouldn't say the casual observer "needs" answers, that's more important for family and close friends. I would own up to being interested in what makes a man with everything apparently going for him do that, but since any blind guesses could be wide of the mark, personally I'm happy to wait for the truth (which won't be long in coming).

I think casual observers are interested in answers for themselves. For instance, they look at Gary Speed and wonder what drove him to commit suicide for fear that it was so unexpected for him, can it happen to me? Was it depression? Was it infidelity? Was it secrets to be exposed? Was it an accident? How can I push away the fear that death could be that sudden for me?

 

[The Large One]

When something so unexpected happens, people need answers, and in the absence of actual facts they take comfort in speculation. The comfort it offers some people is the value of it.

It can offer comfort in thinking of a possible reason, but there are occasions when that can cause more harm than good, especially when the truth comes out as a different matter.

I struggle with taking comfort from speculation, personally.

 

[Acker79]

It can offer comfort in thinking of a possible reason, but there are occasions when that can cause more harm than good, especially when the truth comes out as a different matter.

I struggle with taking comfort from speculation, personally.

I would imagine Freud would apply his explanation for the existence of sick jokes. It's a way of protecting your ego. You don't want to feel or appear as if you are susceptible/hurting/afraid of death so you make jokes, or project explanations that differentiate from your life so as not to have anyone look at you as "weak" (either for being emotionally affected or as a potential victim of depression).

Like you, I don't personally take comfort from the speculation, but I think for some people it is just their way of dealing.

 

[Pavilionaire]

I feel sorry for the kids. Not having a dad around and not knowing why he killed himself would be hard to take, it will be even worse for them if it comes out that it was due to marital infidelity.

Because Speed was high profile and had everything going for him the speculation won't end until something is uncovered about his motive. Unfortunately for his family this will make the grieving process that much more painful as the media speculate. It's difficult to see where the 'closure' on this will come from. Awful.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I'd leave the speculation to those it matters to. Life's mysteries aren't all ours to solve. Whatever we choose to gossip and guess over won't bring us a truth or necessarily a satisfactory ending. I'd rather we just felt sad about something and let it be what it was without entering this opinionated competition of who might have supposed best.

 

[Lush]

In the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief model (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) I guess most people are still at the Denial stage (Why him? Why now? He had everything to live for).

When people move onto the anger stage (it's so unfair, it must be someone/something else's fault) I hope it doesn't get too nasty.

 

[Danny-Boy]

agreed.........depression doesn't give a shit how 'successful' you are.......just like any illness

winston churchill, beyonce, halle berry, jim carrey, agatha christie, charles dickens, nathalie imbruglia, angelina jolie, abraham lincoln, joan miro, ewan mcgregor, mozart, uma thurman

just some of the hundreds upon hundreds of 'successful' people that either have or had depression

Plus all Albion fans, and probably Palace fans too, a few times in the last twenty years!

 

[Bozza]

Unfortunately for his family this will make the grieving process that much more painful as the media speculate.

Has there been much/any media speculation yet? It's a genuine question - I don't take any papers nor go to their sites as a matter of course.

I'd already thought that the Leveson Enquiry that is still rumbling on would have the tabloids treading very lightly around this one.

 

[Danny-Boy]

I feel sorry for the kids. Not having a dad around and not knowing why he killed himself would be hard to take, it will be even worse for them if it comes out that it was due to marital infidelity.

Because Speed was high profile and had everything going for him the speculation won't end until something is uncovered about his motive. Unfortunately for his family this will make the grieving process that much more painful as the media speculate. It's difficult to see where the 'closure' on this will come from. Awful.

I'me VERY angry about all the speculation on here, that somehow there was a "story" which was going to be published in the national media (someone mentioned "The Sun" specifically) about Speed's private life.

If that WAS the case, then given the present inquiry about the pressures the media put on famous people, then that would only pour petrol on the fire. If such a story did exist, I would expect a lot of "deleted e-mails and texts" going on.

Gabby Yorath has made a very sincere and earnest tribute. I think somehow the respect commanded among his colleagues in the media means there will be an answer to this mystery.

 

[Ernest]

Somebody just not decide to hang themselves especially someone like Gary Speed who seemed to have it all going for him. I'd imagine the truth will out before long if not it will at the inquest.

 

[Danny-Boy]

Somebody just not decide to hang themselves especially someone like Gary Speed who seemed to have it all going for him. I'd imagine the truth will out before long if not it will at the inquest.

What happened to all the capital letters, Ern? Dropped out of respect?