[Misc] Funeral directors ripping it up.

[Insel affe]

Re humour, my mother used to work for a funeral director (not in the business, but caring for his elderly mother). He and his staff had the driest senses of humour you could find, very funny guys to speak to.

Much like doctors, Nurses, Paramedics, and the Police, you have to be honestly to get by, my brother tells me about stuff all the time, and he is ol'bill.

When I worked in a abattoir, and as a butcher we were always messing about, you know shoot em games, guess the animal part, hiding rotten food in peoples cars, sliding off chicken under toilet cubicles....

Or was that just plain sick humour

 

[dazzer6666]

Much like doctors, Nurses, Paramedics, and the Police, you have to be honest.
When I worked in a abattoir, and as a butcher we were always messing about, you know shoot em games, guess the animal part, hiding rotten food in peoples cars, sliding off chicken under toilet cubicles....

Or was that just plain sick humour

LOL. I worked in a chicken processing plant, much the same. Softening chicken fat in boiling water and then trying to place it unnoticed on a foreman's hard hat was the best......it soon solidified and stuck fast in a refrigerated room Was best to keep your birthday a secret as well, as a dip in the blood bin usually followed, then a rinsing off with a freezing jet hose.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Over 50s Funeral Plans would appear to be the next PPI Claims nice little earner for wise guys, judging by the way they get heavily touted on daytime telly.

As with any financial product it depends on what you bought from whom, when, and with what advice.

But next PPI? Interest only mortgages. *taps nose*

 

[Knocky's Nose]

....She had the presence of mind to ask for three quotes and details of the service.

comparethefuneral.com

Simples...

If anyone starts this business and makes a million, please remember me

 

[Gazwag]

My father in law passed away earlier this year, he wanted to leave his body to medical science. If you leave your body to medical science there is no funeral cost as when the body is released around 12 months later they pay for the cremation/burial. This wasn't the main reason he wanted to do it but as he was getting on a bit and was the last of a few siblings he had attended enough funerals over the years and hated them so he didn't want to put his family and friends though it so his will said no funeral.

However they do not take anybody who has had any recent surgery and because he had had small exploratory surgery 10 days before they couldn't take him. We therefore arranged for him to be cremated in Brighton without a service or anything else, he was just put into a coffin and into the furnace.

This still cost near £3k, thankfully we were able to pay this as their only asset is the home which is my mother in law lives, she has no savings to pay it.

As he was well known in Plumpton, played cricket, rugby and football (he played in goal at the Goldstone once, even though he was shorted that Maty Ryan) we had a celebration in the village and planted a tree at the recreation ground and this Sunday we a spreading his ashes (somewhere we are not supposed to but who will know).

 

[Insel affe]

LOL. I worked in a chicken processing plant, much the same. Softening chicken fat in boiling water and then trying to place it unnoticed on a foreman's hard hat was the best......it soon solidified and stuck fast in a refrigerated room Was best to keep your birthday a secret as well, as a dip in the blood bin usually followed, then a rinsing off with a freezing jet hose.

My favourite was getting the girls umbrellas when it had been pissing down on the way to work from the cloak room taking them the freezer and opening them up.
We used to get paid cash at midday on a Friday in envelopes......
Great times, we would never go back to work after lunch, and they could not sack us because there was a staff shortage, so they got wise and paid us at the end of the day. So I left shortly after that.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

As with any financial product it depends on what you bought from whom, when, and with what advice.

But next PPI? Interest only mortgages. *taps nose*

a.k.a 'the ticking timebomb'. Feel genuinely sorry for anybody trapped in one of those. Like my best mate's daughter. Easy to just bury your head in the sand and be in denial about your mortgage lender coming along one day and casually asking you to write them a cheque for the purchase price of your property. Seek. Advice. ASAP.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Great times, we would never go back to work after lunch, and they could not sack us because there was a staff shortage, so they got wise and paid us at the end of the day. So I left shortly after that.

I bet they were gutted, and pleaded with you not to leave?

 

[bhanutz]

a.k.a 'the ticking timebomb'. Feel genuinely sorry for anybody trapped in one of those. Like my best mate's daughter. Easy to just bury your head in the sand and be in denial about your mortgage lender coming along one day and casually asking you to write them a cheque for the purchase price of your property. Seek. Advice. ASAP.

All depends how old they are, will they be coming into inheritance etc...It's a cheap way for some!

 

[Questions]

I wouldn’t mind having my funeral whilst I was still alive. I’d sit at the back behind a curtain and listen to people say nice things about me. Put a few quid behind the bar obviously.


Say nice things mmm.

 

[Mo Gosfield]

Its the ' hidden costs ' that people don't consider as well. e.g Embalming. All part of the service but adds to the bill.

 

[pearl]

Its the ' hidden costs ' that people don't consider as well. e.g Embalming. All part of the service but adds to the bill.

Embalming? What's the point?

 

[The Clamp]

They rip you off at the registrars too. The year my family died I had to pay I think £15 for each death certificate, you always need a few for each person and that’s doubled if you forget any and have to go back and get them retrospectively. Yep funerals are overpriced and we couldn’t organise them before as they died suddenly. You just hand it over because you don’t want the fuss.

 

[£1.99]

My Mother in law died this year and at her funeral my wife was asked if she wanted any song's played at the service. The Vicar said if we didn't have a CD of the song his son would use Spotify to play the songs. My wife asked for "Some Where Over The Rainbow" to be played ( German version as Mother in law was German and buried in Germany). When we got the itemised bill they had charged her 40 Euro to play the song

 

[Deleted member 2719]

Couldn't the Albion do a cremation service in-house so to speak, I am sure PB will see it's a nice little earner.

5k for a sprinkle over the North stand penalty spot etc.

He would also be in touch with who has passed away so he could fill their seat the next match.

I think they call this thinking outside the box.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

The trouble with Funeral Directors is that they think we are all a bunch of 'Window Lickers'(SIC) that will pay anything.

You have a long memory.

Bit harsh, though. I winced when I read your quip.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I wouldn’t mind having my funeral whilst I was still alive. I’d sit at the back behind a curtain and listen to people say nice things about me. Put a few quid behind the bar obviously.


Say nice things mmm.

It has been done, mate:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhBkC6B9I2U

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Couldn't the Albion do a cremation service in-house so to speak, I am sure PB will see it's a nice little earner.

5k for a sprinkle over the North stand penalty spot etc.

He would also be in touch with who has passed away so he could fill their seat the next match.

I think they call this thinking outside the box.

It's bad for the pitch apparently, but you can be scattered in the Memorial Garden and buy a plaque there.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Couldn't the Albion do a cremation service in-house so to speak, I am sure PB will see it's a nice little earner.

5k for a sprinkle over the North stand penalty spot etc.

He would also be in touch with who has passed away so he could fill their seat the next match.

I think they call this thinking outside the box.

If you want your ashes scattered on the North Stand penalty spot, surely this is thinking inside the box?

 

[Goldstone1976]

If you want your ashes scattered on the North Stand penalty spot, surely this is thinking inside the box?

Booo! Boooooooo! You got there before me.