From The Outside Looking In

[Box of Frogs]

Back on topic - pretty good article all told, SR93. Good to see you are receptive to constructive criticism. I read it and thought in a couple of places it didn't quite scan right, but I'm no writer so can't really tell you how to improve it - there are many more qualified/educated people on this board that will probably be able to help you with that.

But if one of them is HB&B, ignore him!!

Oh and a message to Fur Cough - why don't you do just that?!?!

 

[£1.99]

Thanks, managed to find a picture from inside the stadium so have used that instead.

Good read
One thing to bear in mind though is if you have taken a picture of the internet for your blog, whoever took the pic owns the copyright and you might face a fat bill for using someone's work!

 

[Triggaaar]

At the point you wrote "flew the nest" which was roghly one sntence in, it was clear your ability as a writer is copied from the majotity of freelance "hacks" desperatley seeking an extra few quid that could be paid by one of the glossy football "lads" mags.

And just so you know, "sarcasm" is the lowest form of wit, pracised by the weakest, in order to disarm the ptential assailant.

Sam has asked for feedback and should be grateful for your insightful and well reasoned critique

 

[bennibenj]

enjoyed that, thanks chap

 

[HoveHorace]

Nice work SR93

Nitpicking I know, but there is a good 20 miles between Brighton & Crawley - thank God !

 

[Lincoln Imp]

It's a decent piece, although I think if you re-read your second paragraph you'll agree it doesn't read as smoothly as it might. As an ex-sports ed/sub, that would be the section I'd be chucking back at you for a re-write. Also most estimations of our possible seating expansion put the increased capacity at much nearer 30,000 than 35k. Not sure where you got that figure from.

But overall it's a decent summary and few Albion fans would quibble with your conclusions about the forthcoming season. PM me if you want any more in depth comment.

With respect, there's a grammatical error at the start of your second sentence. The section you mention isn't an ex-sport ed/sub. You are. "As an ex-sports ed/sub, I'd be chucking that section back at you for a re-write." would solve the problem.

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

You're doing a f***ing good job of passing yourself off as a prick though.

I wouldn't bother fella. I gave up trying to engage this poster last night.
He made his intentions very clear from post 1.
Good luck with your chosen career Sam

 

[sixnilup]

Good read, realistic view. Think a lot of fans would agree with you.

 

[SR93]

Apologies for the late reply, gents, I've been busy over the past few days.

Back on topic - pretty good article all told, SR93. Good to see you are receptive to constructive criticism. I read it and thought in a couple of places it didn't quite scan right, but I'm no writer so can't really tell you how to improve it - there are many more qualified/educated people on this board that will probably be able to help you with that.

But if one of them is HB&B, ignore him!!

Thanks, Box.

As long as the criticism is justified, I can take it. When you get idiots saying "It's shit" and leaving it at that then I tend to ignore it!

Good read. One thing to bear in mind though is if you have taken a picture of the internet for your blog, whoever took the pic owns the copyright and you might face a fat bill for using someone's work!

Thanks for the advice, will bear it in mind for the future.

enjoyed that, thanks chap

No problem, glad you enjoyed it!

Nice work SR93

Nitpicking I know, but there is a good 20 miles between Brighton & Crawley - thank God !

Thanks, I've amended that now.

Good luck with your chosen career Sam

Good read, realistic view. Think a lot of fans would agree with you.

Thanks, fellas, appreciate that.

 

[The Wookiee]

Planning permission was already granted prior to blooms promotion to chairman