Friends Mums

[Eric Potts]

"Finger blasted her up the chutney"

Isn't the English language a wonderful thing , capable of such beauty and pathos

 

[Falmer Flutter ©]

My mates mum noshed me off in the back of the car on the way to Hartlepool.

Who was driving? And did we win?

 

[Brovion]

I think I've told this before but what the hell. This is 100% true.

When I was 16/17 one of my mates had a VERY fit mum. He'd been born when she was only 15 so she was only in her early 30s. She was single and had had a few boyfriends buy nothing serious. She knew we all fancied her and she often used to joke with us saying she'd "Take you boys upstairs one by one and show you what's what."

One day I went to call on my mate and he wasn't it. His mum was there alone and she asked me in, saying he wouldn't be long. We went into the kitchen and she made me a cup of tea, I couldn't help noticing that she was wearing a very short skirt and a very tight top and she was also displaying plenty of cleavage. She was smiling at me and asking me how school was and then


Oh, I've got to go, I'll finish this later.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Eh? Don't leave us hanging *zips up*

 

[NMH]

I buggered my next door naighbours mum. My next door neighbour is 56.

So, if the neighbour is 56, the mum must be at least 70+ ??

 

[Billy the Fish]

My mate was shagging his birds mum when he was 13. They got found out and it was in the papers, national and local, in 1996 I think. She was a bit of a rotter, but I s'pose you can't be too choosy at that age.
She used to pretend to be his mum and get him out of school, then go and shag him up Ditchling common. Lucky bastard.