Food Hell - Awful Meals

[Uncle Spielberg]

Some Tiger Prawns did make me violently sick a few months back , at least the likely suspect was the Tiger Prawns. Seafood be afraid, be very afraid.

 

[Buzzer]

FOUND IT!!!!!!!

check out the facts:

and here's the full article:

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/



Go on chaps. Get stuck in

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Those microwave Rustler burgers for 99p and ready in 60 seconds taste passable as you eat them but make you feel violently unwell 10 minutes later.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I had a thought a few years ago of liking to be a pigeon one day, preferably a wood one (not one made of burnable balsa, but the regal, clean-footed ones we see with colour in their collars and intent in their daily marches) who struts his stuff in coupledom. As that bird i'd find an old woman as lonely as one can get, her baggage inhabited by immalleable tools for protection, a spanner and a chisel her now-dead husband was awarded at the local carpentry cup of 1977. It would be a haggard elderly dame who plotted herself on pondside benches begging silently for someone to join her and converse over the old days and favourite burial grounds. She'd remain alone most mornings, but, by jingo, if humans would not share themselves with her, she knew birds would respond and rub themselves on her surround with just the tossing of breadcrumb or splattering on wettened concrete floor a handful of crushed Wotsits and peanut dust for any to saunter over and commit to. I'd flap myself to be first on her pile of shortcomings and desperations. But when i got there i'd keep a very close eye on who and what else approached. Under one of my beefy wings i'd keep the tiniest dagger extentions flashed outward when i reached far, and any rival that neared would find their cheeks and beaks and pregnant bitches slashed without mercy, knowing i was King Birdie. Obviously, if i was coming up against duck or goose or the child's-arm-breaking swan, i'd back off and investigate the strength i have left to know whether i had it in me to stick it in them. I'd eat until i was violently ill though, and then head back for more, hoping the femme fatale would enjoy this show and i'd for one day be the best and most brutal at something.

 

[Trufflehound]

Actually, my real idea of food hell would be any meal with Simon Jordan and Christopher Biggins for company.

 

[tip top]

Actually, my real idea of food hell would be any meal with Simon Jordan and Christopher Biggins for company.

with Jonathon King thrown in

 

[scooter1]

Tinned Macaroni cheese, possibly 0.0000001% cheese and the rest just tastes of plastic

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I worked at the Oxford Balloon Festival supporting myself through University. I was on the graveyard shift and someone had forgotten to pick up the food order (bacon, bread and eggs etc.). I hadn't eaten for something like 12 hours and was near collapse, having walked about 15km patrolling the boundaries.

The 'chef' (unskilled prole) offered to rustle up some old spaghetti bolognaise. She poured some boiling water in the big pan and scraped the remnants off the side and slopped it on some cold spaghetti. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, until I discovered a thick wiry grey hair had got lodged between my front teeth. is what I did, just outside the 'catering tent'.

Some Tiger Prawns did make me violently sick a few months back , at least the likely suspect was the Tiger Prawns. Seafood be afraid, be very afraid.

I thought it was your mother's chicken legs.

 

[algie]

The more thicker the hair the more likely to be a pubic hair :thumbsup

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The more thicker the hair the more likely to be a pubic hair :thumbsup

It was about 8 inches long... Oh god!

 

[Gully]

I can't eat roast pork, even smelling it cooking makes me retch...no I am not Jewish or Moslem, but I burnt the end of my finger on a pot of molten solder when I was a kid and the smell of my flesh cooking was very similar to pork roasting...and they say that humans taste like pigs!!!

 

[alan partridge]

some Asian countries seem to have an attitude of " if it moves eat it ", strange behaviour including Dog Alley where you can sit down for an Alsatian Madras, mmmm

thats not racist is it ?.

nope it's just bollocks, but throw in the 'it's not racist' to make you sound like a British man's man.

For f***'s sake, what did you expect when you 'cooked' that 'meal'. That's not food!

Worst meal I have ever paid for was at Donatellos, staunch supporters of the club or not. f***ing shit food.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Since I'm rather picky about the bits of animals I'm prepared to eat, I had a narrow escape in Barcelona, when I remained determined to order what appeared to be a delicious Catalan delicacy - orello de porc. It wasn't until the waiter finally grabbed hold of his own ear and said, in some desperation, "But is PIGGY'S EAR, Senora!" that all interest in eating it was lost. Stupidly it wasn't exactly difficult to translate this from either French or Italian so why I hadn't worked out the true meaning of "orello", I don't know.

Probably the worst ever meal I've actually eaten also involved the abomination that can be Meat in Tins. This time an entire, boneless tinned chicken that a friend had brought on our canal boat holiday. It was offputting enough to open the tin and tip an alarmingly foetus-like object out but adding Uncle Bens rice and vegetables to create a risotto resulted in something that none of the humans OR the ducks swimming in the canal could stomach. Worse, the whole horrible mess refused to sink beneath the surface and bobbed around as a greasy reminder of a Very Bad Culinary Idea.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Why on earth would the ducks want to eat chicken? It is on a par with you eating one of your cousins!

 

[dougdeep]

I had a burger at the Brewery Tap once.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Why on earth would the ducks want to eat chicken? It is on a par with you eating one of your cousins!

It's a dog eat dog world on the Leeds Liverpool Canal.

 

[Tom Bombadil]

Worst meal I have ever paid for was at Donatellos, staunch supporters of the club or not. f***ing shit food.

I can't understand why that restaraunt is so successful - the food is awful. You get better quality from a happy shopper ready meal

 

[NMH]

Anyone buying corned beef is not exactly aiming for culinary heaven in the first place!

Buy tongue, it's like corned beef only WAY better tasting. Pork tongue is rather tasty, as well.