[Humour] Flatulent neighbours.

[AmexRuislip]

Man calls police on neighbour from hell who won't stop farting

Simon Joynson said he was pushed to the edge by the behaviour of his neighbour Edward Riley who would fart and burp so loudly it tormented him at this semi-detached home in Cheadle, near Stockport

www.mirror.co.uk

'Riley would fart and burp so loudly and persistently it could be heard through their adjoining wall.'

This has cheered me up and made my day, after Mondays disaster

 

[Brok]

Is this a wind up?

 

[BNthree]

Surely this will all blow over.

 

[Superphil]

Kicking up a bit of a stink isn't he?

 

[Happy Exile]

What a load of old guff.

 

[hart's shirt]

"At Stockport Magistrates Court, Riley was sentenced to 24-weeks jail suspended for 12 months after he admitted harassment.
He must also complete 15 rehabilitation activity days and pay court costs of £85 and a victim surcharge of £128."

It'll be hard to ignore a court odour.

 

[Stat Brother]

Halibut.

 

[Eeyore]

"At Stockport Magistrates Court, Riley was sentenced to 24-weeks jail suspended for 12 months after he admitted harassment.
He must also complete 15 rehabilitation activity days and pay court costs of £85 and a victim surcharge of £128."

It'll be hard to ignore a court odour.

We have a winner

 

[Wrong-Direction]

You might remember a thread I started a while back about Shamu the whale in the flat below me.
About 800 quids worth of carpet now drowns out 90% of the noises she makes.

 

[schmunk]

"At Stockport Magistrates Court, Riley was sentenced to 24-weeks jail suspended for 12 months after he admitted harassment.
He must also complete 15 rehabilitation activity days and pay court costs of £85 and a victim surcharge of £128."

It'll be hard to ignore a court odour.

These seem like trumped up charges.

 

[Dinner with Gotsmanov]

“At Stockport Magistrates Court, Riley was sentenced to 24-weeks jail suspended for 12 months after he admitted harassment.
He must also complete 15 rehabilitation activity days and pay court costs of £85 and a victim surcharge of £128."

Something about this whole story just doesn’t smell right…

 

[Papak]

I imagine the defence lawyer let rip at the prosecution's allegations...

 

[jakarta]

I presume it was proven that he had farted in their general direction?

 

[The Clamp]

It is quite funny but in reality, it's horrid to live near. I had a neighbour who smoked and drank beer every night. Every morning he would rise at about 11am, while I was in bed after a night shift and I was awoken by his hacking cough, clearing his throat and spitting and belching. It genuinely made me nauseated. He's moved out now, thank god. Ghastly individual.

 

[The Grockle]

We lived next door to a couple that would have very, very loud sex. On bad night (probably not for them) it would go on for hours and hours and it would wake my daughter up constantly.

Not only was it really antisocial but it's didn't half make me feel inadequate. One time we thought we'd fight fire with fire. However we finished, made lunch and had got through 3/4 of forest gump by the time they were done.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

I was walking the dog the other night and as it was faffing about sniffing god knows what, I let go the longest, loudest most satisfying fart I've done in a long time. As the crescendo came to an end, the single, flirty, highly attractive women from down the road walked round the corner with a look of absolute distain on her face. Happy days.

 

[Titanic]

I opened this thinking it would be about H-block in WSU.

 

[Happy Exile]

This feels like the appropriate thread to relate that I was in a pub in Hove last night as a quick pitstop with a mate before heading home, and someone had dropped something in there that was so dense I could still practically taste it this morning. Really quite rancid and if it had been a mate of mine I'd be advising they see a doctor. A reminder for me that a fart is spraying particles of faecal matter into the air and really should be treated with the same social disgust as spitting and any other propelling of bodily fluids in public. Grim. (Though fart jokes are still funny obviously.)

 

[Eeyore]

This feels like the appropriate thread to relate that I was in a pub in Hove last night as a quick pitstop with a mate before heading home, and someone had dropped something in there that was so dense I could still practically taste it this morning. Really quite rancid and if it had been a mate of mine I'd be advising they see a doctor. A reminder for me that a fart is spraying particles of faecal matter into the air and really should be treated with the same social disgust as spitting and any other propelling of bodily fluids in public. Grim. (Though fart jokes are still funny obviously.)

I think farts are funny. And if someone is spraying particles of faecal matter, otherwise known as shit, in the air I would advise them to put their trousers and pants back on. Especially if it was in the pub as described.

 

[AmexRuislip]

I was walking the dog the other night and as it was faffing about sniffing god knows what, I let go the longest, loudest most satisfying fart I've done in a long time. As the crescendo came to an end, the single, flirty, highly attractive women from down the road walked round the corner with a look of absolute distain on her face. Happy days.

Should've blamed the dog