Favourite Quotes of all time

[RickofBHAFC]

How about we sustitute the word England for Croydon in this quote?


Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.
- - - D. H. Lawrence, 1912

 

[RickofBHAFC]

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
- - - Oscar Wilde

 

[O Lads]

On the Simpsons The Dentist talking to Ralf Wigam
'How many times do you brush a day?'
'Eh, 3'
'Why must you turn my office into a house of LIES'

 

[Dover]

If faced with the trail of two evils, take the one you have never tried.

I can't remember who it is by, but I love it anyway.

 

[mrhairy]

"When I was a young man all I thought I to do was smile," Rod Stewart.

 

[patcham seagulls]

brian clough to teddy sherringham after being asked for some comp's.
"if your family won't pay to watch you, who the f*** will"

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Oscar Wilde once said: "I can resist all things.............but temptation"

 

[Jam The Man]

"You have to believe in luck, or how else can you explain the success of those you do not like?"...Cocteau...

 

[Jam The Man]

Homer Simpson " When Marge joined the Police Academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting like that movie 'Spaceballs' but in fact it's been sick and disturbing like that movie 'Police Academy' "

 

[Theatre of Trees]

You mean Jane 'bury me in a y shaped coffin' Harrington?

 

[pasty]

Mrs Merton to Debbie McGhee "What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels"

Classic

 

[chip]

An Englishman is a man who lives on an island in the North Sea governed by Scotsmen - Philip Guedalla, 1920.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will make better soup. HL Mencken, 1920.

If presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. Mel Brooks

God is alive, he just doesn't want to get involved

It is the final proof of God's omnipitence that he need not exist in order to save us. Peter De Vries

If only I had a little humility, I would be perfect - Ted Turner

 

[Hampden Park]

to any woman, i wont come in your mouth

 

[METALMICKY]

William the Conqueror on spotting a cross eyed bowman on the eve of the Battle of Hastings "Careful mate, you'll have someones eye out!"

Tong Greig on the eve of the 1976 Test series v the Windies "If we get on top we're going to make them grovel"

 

[The Large One]

"When I was a young man all I thought I to do was smile," Rod Stewart.

Mike d'Abo actually.

'Punctuality is the thief of time' Oscar Wilde.

 

[chip]

Surely 'Procrastination is the thief of time'?

Work is the curse of the drinking classes - O Wilde

 

[moggy]

And to think, I used to be so intelligent.

Has had Chez, DBS and myself pissing ourselves ever since Moggy said it

one by bha.fatboy during a trip to moscow zoo:

look at the size of those turkeys!
(pointing at the vulture cage)

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

"I was dreaming I was awake and woke up and found myself asleep"

Stan Laurel

 

[smudge]

Craig Bellamy on Souness.

"He went behind my back right in front of my face."

What a tit!

 

[Braders]

[watching Cricket on British TV]
Peter: What the hell is he talking about?
Englishman: Oh, it's Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn't whipped his bails off, of course.
Peter: Anybody get that?
Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette."
Peter: Well, someone tell this "cigarette" to shut up.