Favourite one-liners from comedy sitcoms

[Stumpy Tim]

Father Ted, Over 70's football episode. Mrs Doyle - "Where did he come from?!"

Phoenix Nights, the psychic (half an hour of the finest comedy in my opinion). "I'm getting the word...... NONCE"

 

[Norman Potting]

The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea

Henry: Here, Minnie, hold my elephant gun.
Minnie: I don't know what you brought it for. You can't shoot elephants in England, you know.
Henry: And why not?
Minnie: They're out of season.
Henry: Does this mean we shall have to have pelican for dinner again?
Minnie: I fear so, I fear so.
Henry: Then I'll risk it. I'll shoot an elephant out of season.

Circa; The fabulous Goon Show

"You hit my friend Eccles again and just see what happens

WHACK, OOOOW!

See, that's what happens!"


...Can't remember which episode. Just noticed there a quite few episodes on Spotify begging to be listened to, cue lots of laughter from daddy and wife and daughters asking me to explain why I think it is funny. We do have a letter signed by Spike Milligan in our loo though so I may get away with it.

 

[half time scores]

Another from the Goon show

You have nice legs, they make you look erm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,taller

 

[AmexRuislip]

"You hit my friend Eccles again and just see what happens

WHACK, OOOOW!

See, that's what happens!"


...Can't remember which episode. Just noticed there a quite few episodes on Spotify begging to be listened to, cue lots of laughter from daddy and wife and daughters asking me to explain why I think it is funny. We do have a letter signed by Spike Milligan in our loo though so I may get away with it.

http://www.thegoonshow.net/about.asp

 

[Pavilionaire]

<Del and Rodney managed to auction off the John Harrison "lesser watch">

Del: How much exactly did it go for?
Rodney: Six point two million. Just over three million each.
Del: Well we've had worse days, ain't we?

 

[Norman Potting]

http://www.thegoonshow.net/about.asp

Thanks, got my Goons transposed with that quote. Having looked at Spotify nearly all the shows seem to be on there!

 

[AmexRuislip]

Thanks, got my Goons transposed with that quote. Having looked at Spotify nearly all the shows seem to be on there!

If you have internet radio, there is a specific Goon radio station, playing non stop

 

[Danny-Boy]

Still think the oft-trailered line in "Mrs Brown's Boys" was a classic!
(S)he sitting at a table doing a newspaper crossword:

"Now what the feck's this one here? 8 letter word starting and ending in "N" pertaining to constipation?

Of course! Oi got it it's N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n"...

 

[Durlston]

Father Ted, Over 70's football episode. Mrs Doyle - "Where did he come from?!"

Phoenix Nights, the psychic (half an hour of the finest comedy in my opinion). "I'm getting the word...... NONCE"

Brian Potter: "You'll be in the bloody bogs next, snorting Cecil".

Staff drummer: "You mean Charlie?"

BP: "I've never met the man. Who is he?"

 

[Frutos]

"That would be an ecumenical matter"

 

[Frutos]

Rimmer: Holly, as the Esperantinos would say, "Bonvolu alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo." I think we all know what that means.

Holly: Yeah, it means, "Could you send for the hall porter? There appears to be a frog in my bidet."

 

[Norman Potting]

The miracle of technologh - thanks for the tip! To think that I the shows stopped being broadcast when I was one year old and I still laugh at them!

 

[Lush]

Wild? I was livid!

#topical

 

[joker]

"Is that the phone Rodney?"
"Nah, we ain't got a phone Del"

 

[WATFORD zero]

OK, one last time. These are small… but the ones out there are far away. Small… far away…

 

[Barry Izbak]

Mr Beal: What you in for?
Fletcher: Got caught.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Detectorists:

Lance: She was so annoyed she sawed our bed in half.

(Pause) Andy: Lengthways?