Favourite Derek & Clive sketch or line ?

[Tazman]

"There was no blanket!"

 

[Tazman]

Or - "haven't laughed so much since Auntie Mable caught her left tit in a mangle!"

 

[pasty]

For those that don't know it, and can't be arsed to fathom out all the single liners in the thread so far.....

As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

Jump! You fucker, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his f***ing neck -
There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers

Ahhhrrrr-soles

 

[H block]

Am I the only one who hasn't got the slightest clue what you're all on about

f*** off you cuunt

 

[bathseagull]

"Hello Colin........"

 

[Questions]

Who will ever forget that great soulful, bluesey number.......................

''I`m a ****** and I f***ed a white chick,
and I aint ashamed.

 

[Caveman]

Wiggins and the brasso

Oh the Brasso has come out and gone all over his back.

 

[binky]

...disguised as wallpaper...

 

[The Large One]

Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle

 

[pasty]

LMFAO

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

Top Rank Ballroom.

 

[bhaexpress]

Am I the only one who hasn't got the slightest clue what you're all on about

Derek and Clive are the alter egos of the late Peter Cook and Dudley Moore (of Not only but also plus various other 60s satirical shows).

They produced a series of comedy albums in the early 70s which were very funny but also extremely rude even by today's standards. It was pretty clear that a lot of the recording sessions were done when they were 'under the influence'. Like comedy such as Monty Python and The Office the humour was an acquired taste but they were very popular in the 70s.

 

[Spunk Bubble]

Wiggins and the brasso

....and he shined my botty away

 

[Cian]

Derek and Clive are the alter egos of the late Peter Cook and Dudley Moore (of Not only but also plus various other 60s satirical shows).

They produced a series of comedy albums in the early 70s which were very funny but also extremely rude even by today's standards. It was pretty clear that a lot of the recording sessions were done when they were 'under the influence'. Like comedy such as Monty Python and The Office the humour was an acquired taste but they were very popular in the 70s.

Right, I've (obviously) heard of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore; just never under these names. Probably because I wasn't born and they wouldn't have been repeated on RTE, I would presume

 

[Mrs Coach]

For those that don't know it, and can't be arsed to fathom out all the single liners in the thread so far.....

As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

Jump! You fucker, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his f***ing neck -
There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers

Ahhhrrrr-soles

OMG I nearly Shat relieving this! As a teenager, this was the funniest thing I'd EVER heard! I remember learning it word by word as it was mandatory to know these chants in my group! lol!

 

[Brovion]

OMG I nearly Shat relieving this! As a teenager, this was the funniest thing I'd EVER heard! I remember learning it word by word as it was mandatory to know these chants in my group! lol!

I remember my Dad being quite upset - not at the language but because he maintained they sung an almost identical song in the Navy during WW2 and he didn't like Cook and Moore claiming they'd written it.

"The trouble with you kids is that you think you invented f***ing swearing" as he used to say.

 

[Goodfella]

'This Bloke Came Up To Me'

http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/live_02.htm

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

Oh little Flo...

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

Oh little Flo...

Oh, dear Little Flo
I love you so
Especially in your nightie

When the moonlight flits
Across your tits
Oh, Jesus Christ almighty





Thank you, the Reverend Ike.

 

[Normal Rob]

so i wrote to the council of churches. I wrote'Dear c**ts in charge of religion' civil like 'dear c**ts in charge of religion - that f***ing guidebook of yours....'