Favourite Blackadder saying !

[Braggfan]

Oh, Edmund, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

Have loved this thread!
"Hear the song I sing, war's a horrid thing, and so I sing, sing, sing........ding a-ling ling ling"
Follwed by the
"boom boom boom boom" poem - sorry cant remember the rest of the words..
Well done Baldrick,
"But I've got another one...."
"No no no, we woudn't want to exhaust you"
"It's alright, I could go on all night!"
"NOT WITH A BAYONET THROUGH YOUR NECK YOU COULDN'T!"

My last contribution......"Just pop your clothes on the stool.."

 

[daveinprague]

Baldrick: what happens if I step on a mine.
Blackadder: Well, the usual procedure is to hurl yourself 200 feet into the air, and scatter yourself over a wide area.

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

This is the Jane Harrington? Jane 'bury me in a Y shaped coffin' Harrington?

"I think maybe there are 2 Jane Harringtons.."
"Young?" "Yes" "Attractive? " "YES!" "Goes like a privvy door when the plagues in town?"

 

[greyseagull]

General Melchett: "Don't slouch, Darling." As he lies unconscious shortly after he was head butted by Lord Flash.

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

"mmmmm...cappuccino"

 

[Worthingite]

Not so much a quote, but the other week, whilst watching the news they interviewed Peter Hancock, the current Bishop of Bath and Wells. There's something in my head that automatically hears "The Baby Eating...." whenever they mention his job title!

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

"theres nothing cushy about life in the womens auxiliary balloon corps!!"

 

[dazzer6666]

'Permission to shout 'Bravo' at an annoyingly loud volume Sir'
'Permission granted, bahhhhhhhh'
'BRAVO'

 

[KZNSeagull]

I'd rather be a quack than a ducky. Good day.

 

[dazzer6666]

'It's my manservant doctor'
'well pop the old fella on the table and lets have a look then'

 

[Seagullible]

life without you is like a blunt pencil
how?
pointless!

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Not so much a quote, but the other week, whilst watching the news they interviewed Peter Hancock, the current Bishop of Bath and Wells. There's something in my head that automatically hears "The Baby Eating...." whenever they mention his job title!

The Bishop of Bath and Wells makes me think of this scene from series 1 when Prince Harry is taking score following the Battle of Bosworth Field:


Edmund: Lord Coverdale…

Harry: …who fought on >our< side, I believe.

Edmund: Er, yes… I think Lord Coverdale saw me slaying, erm…

[Baldrick turns 90 degrees, turns his head and looks out the corner
of his eye, then tilts his helmet over his eyes in an effeminate
pose.]

Edmund: …Warwick.

Harry: Warwick the Wild of Leicester?

Edmund: Yes, that’s him — and pretty wild he was, too! He took some
finishing off, I can tell you!

Harry: Yes, indeed — I killed him myself at one point. Anyone else?

Edmund: Erm…erm…let me see… Just trying to put names to faces…

Harry: Yes, well, this is the list of the lords as yet unaccounted for:
Roger de Runcie…

Edmund: Oh, de Runcie, yes, he was one of mine.

Harry: Lord Thomas of Devon…

Edmund: Ah, yes, backslash…

Harry: Lord Yeovil…

Edmund: Ah, yes, groin job…

Harry: Good lord! This is remarkable, Edmund! Remarkable!
Oh, and the Bishop of Bath and Wells–

Edmund: Ah, yes, will never walk again!

Harry: …will conduct the thanksgiving service.

Edmund: Oh, Bath and >Wells<…

Harry: [Turns to Percy.] Ah, Lord Percy! Edmund tells me that you managed
to turn up late for the battle, [he begins walking out] so there’s
not much point in asking you your score, is there? [Leaves]

 

[Vatican Citys No.2 Keeper]

Love Corporal Punishment. Full of some absolute classics!

"We didnt receive any messages, & Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot this delucious plump breasted pigeon!"

"I don't care if he's been rogering the Duke of York with a prize winning leek! He Shot My Pigeon!"

George: "I'm a complete duffer at this sort of thing. In the School Debating Society, I was voted Boy-Least-Likely-to-Complete-a-Coherent... erm..."
Blackadder: "Sentence?"
George: "Yeah."

Blackadder: "Deny everything, Baldrick."
George: "Are you Private Baldrick?"
Baldrick: "No!"
George: "Um, but you are Captain Blackadder's batman?"
Baldrick: "No!"
George: "Come on, Baldrick, be a bit more helpful. It's me!"
Baldrick: "No it isn't!"

 

[Badger]

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

 

[dazzer6666]

"I've no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents, do 20 minutes' work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of moist, pink, highly experienced French peasant girls galloping up and down my - hang on..."

 

[Tom Bombadil]

Not so much a quote, but the other week, whilst watching the news they interviewed Peter Hancock, the current Bishop of Bath and Wells. There's something in my head that automatically hears "The Baby Eating...." whenever they mention his job title!

Me too.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

A war hasnt been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High King of all the vikings ordered 100,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

 

[METALMICKY]

In an old Debt Recovery job we often used to get people trying to dodge the penalty charge by claiming they had mental health issues. To be fair some did and they were treated with due respect. However, for those obviously chancing it the standard joke amongst us was that we would need to apply the ' pants & pencil' test. If they put on their head, stuck the pencil up the nose and said Wibble we knew they were faking.

 

[scoobiewhite]

"We're in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun". Just brilliant will never forget that one .
.

Definitely this, along with 'as cunning as a fox, who has just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford University'

I always enjoyed the way that the jokes followed themes throughout each series. There was a lot of that in Red Dwarf as well.

While we are on Red Dwarf, one of my favorite jokes in that was...

Rimmer: Step up to red alert.

Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

Rimmer: There's always some excuse, isn't there?