Favourite Blackadder saying !

[SIMMO SAYS]

Remind me which are my favs then?

Whoops on the wrong thread
Anything Blackadder says is

 

[Cadiz Seagull]

Opinion is divided.

 

[Baldseagull]

An eternity with Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me, and this pencil.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

'Enter the man with no underwear! Ask me why...'

'Why do you wear no underwear Lord Flash?..'

'Because the pants haven't been built yet that can take the job on!..'

Also...

'Darling? Funny name for a bloke! The last person I called Darling was pregnant twenty seconds later!..'

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

An eternity with Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me, and this pencil.

That's what my Maths teacher Mr REX said at Moulsecoomb School when I told him NEW MATHS was SHIT in 1969

 

[magicman555]

On the contary george....weve had plenty of orders
Weve had orders for six metres of hungarian crushed velvet curtain material... four rock salmon and a h'a pence of chips.....and a cab for a mr redgrave picking up from 14 arnost grove, raintop bell.

Fits of laughter EVERYTIME!!!

 

[half time scores]

Oh its a scythe

 

[Algernon]

"Wibble!"

 

[Theatre of Trees]

This is the Jane Harrington? Jane 'bury me in a Y shaped coffin' Harrington?

 

[dazzer6666]

Edmund you appear to wearing a pair of Devil's Dumplings
Oh my god my earmuffs have slipped

 

[Blue3]

I have a cunning plan!

So cunning a fox with a bushy tail would not recognise it

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Flasheart: And remember always to treat your kite like a woman?
George: What do you mean sir? Take her home to meet your mother?
Flasheart: No get inside her three times a day and take her to heaven and back.

 

[dazzer6666]

Trust me to get the hard one......

 

[Mayonaise]

Blackadder 4: We've been here for 2 years now and have made as much progress as an asthmatic ant carrying heavy shopping!

Gets me every time.

 

[Working class pride]

General Melchy - I'm right behind you Blackadder
Blackadder - "Yes Sir".. then under his breath.. "about 10 miles"

 

[Two Professors]

I think it might be Sodoff

 

[mlg57]

Captain Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war two great super-armies developed. Us, the Russians and the French on one side, Germany and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea being that each army would act as the other's deterrent. That way, there could never be a war.
Private Baldrick: Except, this is sort of a war, isn't it?
Captain Blackadder: That's right. There was one tiny flaw in the plan.
Lieutenant George: O, what was that?
Captain Blackadder: It was bollocks.

Brilliant

 

[Poppett63]

A fate worse, than a fate worse than death!

 

[Working class pride]

Brilliant

Funny true but not historically correct. Britain had a large empire but didnt have a large army and had to recruit civillians when war broke out. Hence the pals regiments and the "your country needs you" posters. The joke about 2 large armies and stalemate was written during the cold war and to be fair, it history shows it wasnt bollocks. Probably was the only thing that stopped the Americans and Russians knocking the hell out of each other.

 

[BadFish]

On the contary george....weve had plenty of orders
Weve had orders for six metres of hungarian crushed velvet curtain material... four rock salmon and a h'a pence of chips.....and a cab for a mr redgrave picking up from 14 arnost grove, raintop bell.

Fits of laughter EVERYTIME!!!

That is comedy genius in writing and delivery