Father's Rights/Children

[Maldini]

In defence of your comment HT, pretty sure most readers on here would have seen that as banter and humour.

No.

 

[Maldini]

I went through this eight years ago and won. The court basically said it was a no-brainer - they're very fair to fathers these days.

I disagree.If you think one weekend of contact every two weeks or perhaps a midweek night thrown in is fair then I disagree.

The courts are very bias towards mothers and think children should always be with them.Fathers are there just to provide maintenance payments.
That is reflected in the average contact given to a father which overall is low.So long as the children have a stable home and one decent parent they are happy with that.

Things are improving very very slowly and the idea that equal contact might become the norm when parents split is ridiculous.It won't happen.

Father's also make the wrong assumption that mothers will always get custody and therefore they just allow it when they split from the mother.The reality is if you are for example a house husband and have been the looking after the children the majority of the time then you have a very good chance of getting custody otherwise unless the mother is a junkie then forget it.

Make no mistake denying a child a father is child abuse and should be looked upon as such.It is also an abuse of the father.Other minority groups get plenty of media coverage and their rights are improving rapidly.Women's rights for example.Then you have gay rights which has come on leaps and bounds.Father's rights are trickling along because it's a numbers game.It's not a vote winner.There are not enough dads struggling for contact compared to Gay people who want to get married so they get ignored and that infuriates me.

 

[sully]

I used a McKensie Friend.For anyone who doesn't know who they are they are basically unqualified people who have a wealth of knowledge regards family courts and procedures.Some have been through the process themselves and want to help others.The one I used has been to court representing fathers hundreds of times and probably has more experience than most family law solicitors.They are also far cheaper.

I would also advise anyone having problems to join Families Need Fathers as their forums are very useful with many fathers/some McKensie Friends able to give good advice and support.

For me you have to go into the court process expecting nothing and understanding that you will be treated like you are irrelevant.Therefore after that you can only work your way up.

Never give up and remember the main priority is access for your children to their father.You are representing them and fighting for their rights.

My point was that no matter what the court order says, the mum doesn't need to comply with it and the courts can do nothing in reality to change that. As I said, they're not going to fine or jail her for non-compliance and there's really nothing else that will get you the access if she refuses. All sorts of excuses come out as to why they weren't there when you go to collect them at the appointed time. That's why I was advised not to waste my money trying to change that situation and that you just need to find other ways of making sure the kids know you care.

 

[Maldini]

My point was that no matter what the court order says, the mum doesn't need to comply with it and the courts can do nothing in reality to change that. As I said, they're not going to fine or jail her for non-compliance and there's really nothing else that will get you the access if she refuses. All sorts of excuses come out as to why they weren't there when you go to collect them at the appointed time. That's why I was advised not to waste my money trying to change that situation and that you just need to find other ways of making sure the kids know you care.

Enforcement isn't a total waste of time.There are situations where a mother can be warned if she doesn't adhere to an order then custody will be given to the father.I would go for enforcement if other options failed.The courts will get fed up of the mother if it's the 3rd/4th time she's broken the order and might take action.The other option is to sit back and let her dictate.The thought of a court hearing in itself may convince some mothers to adhere.

 

[Arthur]

Shoot the slag

Bit out of order HT.

 

[Seagull58]

It was a very poorly thought out and crass attempt at humour. One which I regret. I apologise for any offence caused.

In your defence I did read it as an attempt at humour.

 

[Triggaaar]

In your defence I did read it as an attempt at humour.

That's the nicest compliment HT has ever received for one of his jokes.

 

[Big_Unit]

I disagree.If you think one weekend of contact every two weeks or perhaps a midweek night thrown in is fair then I disagree.

The courts are very bias towards mothers and think children should always be with them.Fathers are there just to provide maintenance payments.
That is reflected in the average contact given to a father which overall is low.So long as the children have a stable home and one decent parent they are happy with that.

Things are improving very very slowly and the idea that equal contact might become the norm when parents split is ridiculous.It won't happen.

Father's also make the wrong assumption that mothers will always get custody and therefore they just allow it when they split from the mother.The reality is if you are for example a house husband and have been the looking after the children the majority of the time then you have a very good chance of getting custody otherwise unless the mother is a junkie then forget it.

Make no mistake denying a child a father is child abuse and should be looked upon as such.It is also an abuse of the father.Other minority groups get plenty of media coverage and their rights are improving rapidly.Women's rights for example.Then you have gay rights which has come on leaps and bounds.Father's rights are trickling along because it's a numbers game.It's not a vote winner.There are not enough dads struggling for contact compared to Gay people who want to get married so they get ignored and that infuriates me.

I guess we just have different experiences of the system...