Fatal silence: Why do so many fortysomething men kill themselves? BBC1 13th April 2030 hrs

[Chief Wiggum]

I know that many NSC members have at various times been brave enough to discuss depression and mental illness on this site.
I hope this BBC article and their programme tonight encourages more of us men to talk about it.
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32231774

 

[Napier's Knee]

Thanks for the heads-up on this Chief. The link you posted certainly chimed with me - massive depression in my mid 40s leading to suicide attempt. This board is actually really excellent - i know we are over-obsessed with the Albion, often stupid, opinionated, annoying, but we're also supportive of one another when we have to be. It would be great if AITC did something around this - I'd be happy to offer what help I could.

 

[Phat Baz 68]

I have Bi-Polar Disorder diagnosed recently its a ******* depression cannot explain my manic highs and lows etc etc .
Now receiving treatment though.

 

[Saladpack Seagull]

I have Bi-Polar Disorder diagnosed recently its a ******* depression cannot explain my manic highs and lows etc etc .
Now receiving treatment though.

Good luck to you,Phat Baz - not everyone would admit to it.

 

[Phat Baz 68]

It probably reflects in some of my posts over the last year or so ha ha ha !!
But now i know i can deal with it

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Good luck to you,Phat Baz - not everyone would admit to it.

I would. I've suffered from clinical depression since my late twenties. I wish I was bipolar personally as at least you have hyper euphoric episodes...I just get insanely low for no damned reason. Medication helps massively. Nobody who hasn't got this can even begin to understand it. I know I'd find it very tedious if I were the partner of a sufferer but I was well.

I think that men in their forties go through a peculiar phase where they review their lives thus far and compare it with their life prospects going forward. If the future looks bleaker than the past, then why go on?

 

[BlockDpete]

I would. I've suffered from clinical depression since my late twenties. I wish I was bipolar personally as at least you have hyper euphoric episodes...I just get insanely low for no damned reason. Medication helps massively. Nobody who hasn't got this can even begin to understand it. I know I'd find it very tedious if I were the partner of a sufferer but I was well.

I think that men in their forties go through a peculiar phase where they review their lives thus far and compare it with their life prospects going forward. If the future looks bleaker than the past, then why go on?

I think you have a point there BH, its kind of a mid life crisis.

I've in my mid forties, no kids and single. I went through a messy relationship breakup a few years ago, and I suppose I've been re-evaluating my life since. Plus I'm on medication for depression and anxiety.

I suppose we are brought up in a society that expect you to be married, in a nice home, with kids by this age, so when it hasn't happened it can have an affect. Though I think its better to focus on what I have got, instead of worrying about what I haven't got.

 

[Camicus]

When my wife walked out took a bit of a dip (Diagnosed with clinical depression and PTSD) Turns out drinking isn't the answer

 

[Hungry Joe]

I've suffered from depression in the past and I still get bad lows from time to time. In my mid forties now. For what it's worth, things that have helped me massively, in no particular order:

Cutting down drinking and stopping all naughty drugs

Eating well and having a regular sleep pattern most of the time

Walking.....a lot of walking

Meditating and learning how to 'live in the moment' rather than thinking about the past and future

Removing as much 'desire' as possible by focusing on what I need to survive and need to be content (turns out most of what I thought I wanted/needed I could do very well without and was happier for it)

Having a caring and understanding partner has helped massively, loneliness is hard enough to deal with when you're mentally well, when you're not it's horrible.

 

[dannyboy]

good posts on here . im 44 and pretty much since I turned 40 ive been thinking about what ive done and what im going to do . I have a good life in terms of family etc . however , im lacking something of which im not too sure . I think its a midlife crisis .... a couple of friends I know have had terrible affairs that have ruined peoples lives and their kids . im not really too sure what the answer is but at the moment im leaning towards that I don't like living in the uk so were looking to emigrate to new Zealand ... bit of a ****er if that isn't the answer !!!!

 

[bobby baxter]

good posts on here . im 44 and pretty much since I turned 40 ive been thinking about what ive done and what im going to do . I have a good life in terms of family etc . however , im lacking something of which im not too sure . I think its a midlife crisis .... a couple of friends I know have had terrible affairs that have ruined peoples lives and their kids . im not really too sure what the answer is but at the moment im leaning towards that I don't like living in the uk so were looking to emigrate to new Zealand ... bit of a ****er if that isn't the answer !!!!

Think carefully about emigrating Dan. I work with loads of East Europeans and other migrants, a significant number of them suffer from depressive illnesses, some probably have what we used to call homesickness, its very real.

 

[dannyboy]

thanks BB . im not depressed nor have ever suffered from depression . my post was more to do with men in their 40's . mine is a mid life crisis but I think maybe the age thing means its related. obviously im very lucky with how mine has manifested itself. its almost like I want an adventure , something different , something challenging!

 

[spence]

Depression is an absolutely dreadful illness to have or suffered. It literally paralyses you where you don't want to get out of bed let alone answer the phone. Quite often people take their lives because the utter misery they go through and there's no end to their suffering. They want to escape it. It's a constant battle with emotions and it's wears you out. What most people take for granted like dressing or brushing your teeth actually drains a depressive person. You grind to a complete halt.

 

[BadFish]

I would. I've suffered from clinical depression since my late twenties. I wish I was bipolar personally as at least you have hyper euphoric episodes...I just get insanely low for no damned reason. Medication helps massively. Nobody who hasn't got this can even begin to understand it. I know I'd find it very tedious if I were the partner of a sufferer but I was well.

I think that men in their forties go through a peculiar phase where they review their lives thus far and compare it with their life prospects going forward. If the future looks bleaker than the past, then why go on?

These words have helped me enormously recently

http://www.eliasscultori.com/blog/images/20130524_lao.jpg

Never properly understood what it meant but over the last year or so these ideas have come sharply into focus.

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Good luck to all who have/are sufferingg, either directly or by dealing with the depression of somebody close. Am always hartened by the help offered to and by complete strangers on here. Sometimes it's better to talk to strangers anyway.

 

[Simon Morgan]

Will definitely watch this as am keen to at least try and relate to what people go through with these awful illnesses. The concept of regret is one that I have been very aware of recently. I started a new, potentially long-term career in September. Having come back from the Christmas holidays I found out that my employers would not be keeping me on, and on the same day my gf split up with me! It was a tricky time but on the reflection possibly one of the most important days in my recent life. It made me look at what I really wanted to do going forward and I am now set to start a new job in a new city in September. The job itself provides invaluable experience but very little in terms of money, and I will need freelance work to supplement it. It will not be easy but in many ways I am enthused at the prospect of not entering the 'stable' career path society sets out for so many.

 

[Justice]

The way this country treats it people I'm not surprised at this at all. Having lived and worked abroad this country literally sucks the life out of you.

 

[BlockDpete]

Good programme, especially when Simon Jacks was interviewing his mother about his fathers suicide.

But why so short? Half an hour was never going to be enough for a subject like this.

 

[Mo Gosfield]

Will definitely watch this as am keen to at least try and relate to what people go through with these awful illnesses. The concept of regret is one that I have been very aware of recently. I started a new, potentially long-term career in September. Having come back from the Christmas holidays I found out that my employers would not be keeping me on, and on the same day my gf split up with me! It was a tricky time but on the reflection possibly one of the most important days in my recent life. It made me look at what I really wanted to do going forward and I am now set to start a new job in a new city in September. The job itself provides invaluable experience but very little in terms of money, and I will need freelance work to supplement it. It will not be easy but in many ways I am enthused at the prospect of not entering the 'stable' career path society sets out for so many.

Keep the positivity going.

 

[Mo Gosfield]

The way this country treats it people I'm not surprised at this at all. Having lived and worked abroad this country literally sucks the life out of you.

I know the feeling.
As you get older, you work things out and realise that nothing is going to change. We trust the stewardship of this country to uninspiring public servants whose last intent is to represent us. They are puppets of the state, tinkering at the edges, powerless to reform. They have no real responsibility to budget and manage properly, so their only concern is how much are they going to be able to borrow. Its like a kid with a rich uncle. Keep tugging at him and the money will keep coming. They don't have any agenda re the country. Only themselves.
The higher up you go, the more corrupt it becomes. The whole cabal is intrinsically linked, all helping each other and f..k the rest of you. A sort of grand masonic lodge. A whole section of our misguided nation think that they have our interests at heart. Wrong. If they did, they would address the key issues. But they don't. Why? Because they have their own agenda.
We've lost our identity and we've lost any strength we had. People now look inwardly rather than outwardly and are only concerned with themselves. The banking fiasco proved that corruption pays in this country and they are still being allowed to get away with it.
We do have the life sucked out of us in this country but its our own fault. As long as people keep supporting this aged, corrupt and bankrupt system, then it will continue.