The Football Association is set to investigate the mass brawl at yesterday's Stockport County v Brighton game. The referee confirmed that he will be mentioning the incident in his match report, and the FA are likely to request video evidence to substantiate what happened. The incident started when Sammy McIlroy thrust the ball into the midriff of an onrushing Dan Harding who was trying to take a throw in. Players, substitutes and coaching staff then ran to sort out the incident, including the Brighton keeper Ben Roberts, who appeared to throw punches but was only given a yellow card. Roberts claimed that he was in fact trying to cool things down, hence his arrival in a fire engine with rectangular wheels, two buckets full of glitter, a pair of comedy gloves, and a large flower that squirted water at Sammy McIlroy when he asked the former Manchester United player to sniff it.
In a separate incident the FA are requesting the sound engineers to send in a tape after complaints from fans that 23 verses of 'Bright Eyes' were sung out of tune in a mournful voice by a mysterious character only reverentially referred to as 'FattyTaxman'. The Stockport County safety officer confirmed that the club was having to carry out a structural review of the Vernon stand which may have suffered stress damage due to the extremely unusual sound waves coming from the source. A group of fans on the Brighton coach also claimed that the singing curdled the milk in their flasks of half time cocoa, and also caused bobble hats to wilt. Before police could stop the terrifying sound, the masked (witnesses claimed no human person could have a face so pasty) warbler ran off at speeds approaching 2.7 mph, before seeking refuge in an all you can eat KFC
In a separate incident the FA are requesting the sound engineers to send in a tape after complaints from fans that 23 verses of 'Bright Eyes' were sung out of tune in a mournful voice by a mysterious character only reverentially referred to as 'FattyTaxman'. The Stockport County safety officer confirmed that the club was having to carry out a structural review of the Vernon stand which may have suffered stress damage due to the extremely unusual sound waves coming from the source. A group of fans on the Brighton coach also claimed that the singing curdled the milk in their flasks of half time cocoa, and also caused bobble hats to wilt. Before police could stop the terrifying sound, the masked (witnesses claimed no human person could have a face so pasty) warbler ran off at speeds approaching 2.7 mph, before seeking refuge in an all you can eat KFC
