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Extra commandments

















Dan Aitch

New member
May 31, 2013
2,287
Thou shalt not mess up the English language with Americanisms.

Thou shalt not use Americanisms unless you can explain their origin.

Thou shalt not make too much noise.

Thou shalt not ever, ever, ever sit and snort gallons of gunge up your nose, repeatedly, when blowing your nose would save us from ever having to listen to your horrible snotting.

And...



...thou shalt not pronounce 'h' as 'haitch'.
 


Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Apr 30, 2013
14,124
Herts
Thou shall not write "should of"
Thou shall not write "could of"
Thou shall not write "would of"

A pub landlord engaged a signwriter to paint him a new sign for his pub, the "Duke of York". After a few days the completed sign was delivered. The landlord was mostly happy, but said to the signwriter "Could 'of' be a bit closer to 'Duke', please?"

No comma. :wink:
 


Peteinblack

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jun 3, 2004
4,143
Bath, Somerset.
Thou shalt not constantly stare down at your f****** mobile phone if thou art:

a) walking along the pavement.
b) crossing the road.
c) cycling or driving
d) pushing a buggy/pram with a screaming baby/toddler.
e) in a pub or restaurant with your partner, family or mates.
f) at a gig, or in a cinema/theatre.
 
Last edited:




The Antikythera Mechanism

The oldest known computer
NSC Patron
Aug 7, 2003
8,090
A pub landlord engaged a signwriter to paint him a new sign for his pub, the "Duke of York". After a few days the completed sign was delivered. The landlord was mostly happy, but said to the signwriter "Could 'of' be a bit closer to 'Duke', please?"

No comma. :wink:

No ellipsis allowed either :lolol:
 




Motogull

Todd Warrior
Sep 16, 2005
10,489
Extra commandments? No. I'm with Jim Jeffries on this, we only need one:

Don't be a c***.
 












RexCathedra

Aurea Mediocritas
Jan 14, 2005
3,509
Vacationland
My old Jesuit moral theology professor used to say that 90% of human unhappiness is caused by not being able to tell "I want" apart from "I need", and from confusing means with ends.
What the other 10% was caused by, I am no longer able to recall.
 


Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Apr 30, 2013
14,124
Herts
My old Jesuit moral theology professor used to say that 90% of human unhappiness is caused by not being able to tell "I want" apart from "I need", and from confusing means with ends.
What the other 10% was caused by, I am no longer able to recall.


Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize (sic) our age.
 


Barrel of Fun

Abort, retry, fail
Thou shall not put your hand down your sweatshop made tracksuit bottoms
Thou shall not spit
Thou shall not litter
Thou shall not avoid taxes
Thou shall not make the fat cats fatter and support the smaller industries
Thou shall not send something that is recyclable to the landfill
 


algie

The moaning of life
Jan 8, 2006
14,713
In rehab
Thou shall not break there manifesto agreement after being elected.
 






Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
Thou shalt not believe in a God.
 


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