Eric Hitchmo: I don't agree with that in the workplace!

[W.C.]

good stuff. Liked the google ad too - Workplace Diversity

 

[Wilko]

Our train went through Coventry yesterday, and it started off a load of Hitchmo CLASSICS

Get the PICTURE up then Brettles #wankingclaw

 

[Common as Mook]

There is no room 216. Some complaints will be false.

 

[Mendoza]

Get the PICTURE up then Brettles #wankingclaw

I don't do a thing with his small hand



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[Wilko]

He talks exactly like that.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

You MUST know who Eric Hitchmo is?

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

[MENTION=461]Mendoza[/MENTION] did you ask ricky gervais what hitchmo would actually look like?

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

Stayed in and had a biiiiiiiiggggggggg wank

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"There's that face again! That's an insult, isn't it? Very....body fascism. The toad is the ugliest of all the amphibians! If we're going to hand out insults for being fat, let's start on him. Look at him! Why don’t we call him Fatty Fatty Toad Boy if we’re...you know at least start on him then move on… Mister TOAD, I can’t…"

 

[Easy 10]

David Brent: I'd like to make a complaint please
Rowan: Don't care
David Brent: Well I am staying at the hotel...
Rowan: Don't care, it's not my shift
David Brent: Well you're an ambassador for the hotel...
Rowan: I don't care
David Brent: I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is...
Rowan: I don't ca...
David Brent: I THINK THERE'S BEEN A RAPE UP THERE
David Brent: ...I got his attention. See ? Get their attention.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs. Now you DO not punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs"

 

[Common as Mook]

This is the real quiz, this is the real quiz

You're shit ah! You're shit ah!

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

He has thrown a kettle over a pub. What have you done?

 

[Common as Mook]

Shhhnacks.

Shhhhhaturday

 

[Easy 10]

Gareth: I'm not worried for me, I'll be all right, but if there does have to be a cull, then so be it. I mean, that's just natural selection, in the wild some people wouldn't survive. Imagine a warehouse, where a little midget fellow is driving a forklift. He can't see over the top, he's got great big platform shoes on so he can reach the pedals, cos of his little legs. I mean, don't get me wrong, Anton's a lovely bloke, but should he be working here?

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Jennifer Taylor-Clark: I just can't believe their total lack of respect.

David Brent: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not only did they undermine you in an authoritative sense, but they left an image in my mind of you naked on all fours literally being done doggy style.

 

[Common as Mook]

"What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It’s the people, investment in people. My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went ‘Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?’.
Didn’t happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!”

 

[Easy 10]

David Brent: I froze your tears, and made a dagger / and stabbed it in my cock, forever / it stays there like Excalibur / Are you my Arthur? Say you are.
Dawn: Good...
David Brent: Take this cool dark steeled blade / steal it, sheathe it in your lake / I'd drown with you to be together / Must you breath? 'Cause I need heaven.
Dawn: Ahhhh... it's powerful.
David Brent: Very. And double meanings - did you get the double meanings?
Dawn: I did.

 

[Gonzo]

Under "Weaknesses" you've put eczema...