[Misc] Emotional control - help needed

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Deep breaths will help. If you know you are going to blub, don't worry about it. You could take box of man sized tissues alone with a big logo on them. Plonk them on the table just before you get the bit you think you might blub at. It will raise a laugh and might relieve your own tension. If you still blub, you can joke about "I knew I would need these" to help yourself through.

The main thing though is to enjoy the day.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Not the NSC day for threads if you are a sensitive male: 'Adultery', 'Anxiety', 'Vasectomy', 'Rico Henry'.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

 

[FamilyGuy]

My elder daughter gets married tomorrow ...
I've written my speech and have been practising all yesterday.
Problem is, I can't get through it without welling up in certain places.
Has anyone got any practical suggestions for where I can't put my mind to help stop this?
I fear that with alcohol in my system it will also be a fair bit worse.

For example, the is a well know suggestion for nervous public speakers to imagine your audience are all fully naked - too many friends and family involved to make that work.
Anyways, its not nerves that's the problem, it's emotions.

Please help [serious and sensible options only please - this is no joking matter]

Be up front about it, when you start the speech say something like "I havent been able to get thru this yet without welling up, so bear with me ...." then take a deep breath and go for it (slowly).

People will expect you to be emotional, and you should expect it too - its natural, its normal, its expected.

Good luck. I've done the same for both my daughters and I enjoyed every moment of it.

 

[FamilyGuy]

With the greatest of respect, I would suggest the opposite.
[MENTION=3125]Shropshire Seagull[/MENTION]

This moment will likely (hopefully) come along only once and will be over before you know it - savour it. You do not want to look back and think that you rushed it, because you were worried about what other people will think - and I'm sure the vast majority that actually know and love the couple, will want to listen to you. Bry Nylon's advice above is spot on, and I would go for that.

I'd reinforce that you shouldn't worry about getting emotional, it's an entirely human response and it simply shows how much it means to you. When the time comes for me to speak at my daughters wedding I will be a wreck. I was a bit of a mess when I did the speech for my own wedding, when I turned to my young son (wife's son before we met, whom I adopted) and told him how much he meant to me, I ended up stumbling through it, with pretty much everybody in the room in tears. This sort of thing can have anywhere from a profound to zero impact on people - but in my opinion, it is never, ever a negative thing.

Best of luck!

Absolutely this, you only get to do this once so fill your boots. Its your unique opportunity to say something wonderful about your daughter, and in public. Say it loud and with love.

 

[Live by the sea]

Have some jokes ready to throw in when you lose it & focus on one person in the audience when you speak . Oh and speak slowly .

 

[symyjym]

My elder daughter gets married tomorrow ...
I've written my speech and have been practising all yesterday.
Problem is, I can't get through it without welling up in certain places.
Has anyone got any practical suggestions for where I can't put my mind to help stop this?
I fear that with alcohol in my system it will also be a fair bit worse.

For example, the is a well know suggestion for nervous public speakers to imagine your audience are all fully naked - too many friends and family involved to make that work.
Anyways, its not nerves that's the problem, it's emotions.

Please help [serious and sensible options only please - this is no joking matter]

How about imagining yourself naked. Might take your mind off the emotional bits? In fact; do it naked!

 

[NorthLainer]

Be up front about it, when you start the speech say something like "I havent been able to get thru this yet without welling up, so bear with me ...." then take a deep breath and go for it (slowly).

People will expect you to be emotional, and you should expect it too - its natural, its normal, its expected.

Good luck. I've done the same for both my daughters and I enjoyed every moment of it.

This would be my advice too. If it were me I'd start with a joke and then tell the audience this - followed by another joke comparing it to something, e.g. "mind you I can't even watch Bambi without the waterworks turning on..."or "it's the same when I watch Brighton play...". Then, if and when it happens say "I did warn you!!". Remember they are all on your side and want you to succeed.

Best of luck.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

This is a day for you to enjoy, read from the heart, accept your emotions and enjoy your big day

 

[Sheebo]

Cried my eyes out after my best man speech after a few lumps in throat during - just go with it. Deep breaths. Emotion is great and a person not afraid to show it is endearing. I’ll cry my eyes out when my daughter gets married!

 

[The Merry Prankster]

I was overcome when doing my F-O-B speech, which I hadn't expected and wasn't with my mum's eulogy when I had expected to be. No rhyme nor reason. No-one seemed to mind on either occasion.

 

[spongy]

I have been to a few weddings and funerals with emotional speeches.

All were greeted with respect by the attendees, humour can be found in even the saddest of times.

But every single person giving the speech has spoken afterwards of finding an inner strength they didn't know they had to get through it.

I have absolutely no doubt you will be exactly the same.

Hopefully you'll only have to give the one so my advice would to enjoy and savour it. Emotional speeches are the best.

 

[clockend1983]

I think people will be moved by you welling up, just go with it! Have a little joke ready for when you recover, humour is always the best remedy and that will put everybody back at ease

Congratulations btw, my two daughters are growing up so fast it'll be my turn soon!

Exactly this why wouldn’t you well up I would be disappointed if a father didn’t
Let the heart take over that’s where the speech comes from
Good luck and let them flow if they come for me it equals love

 

[Music City Gull]

Crap, wrong thread. Apologies. Trying to delete.

 

[PeterOut]

Maybe pop into your local chemists and get a bottle of Rescue Remedy?
Never used it myself, but I know a few people who swear by it for these kind of situations - but the advice given by others above is also good, of course

 

[portlock seagull]

My elder daughter gets married tomorrow ...
I've written my speech and have been practising all yesterday.
Problem is, I can't get through it without welling up in certain places.
Has anyone got any practical suggestions for where I can't put my mind to help stop this?
I fear that with alcohol in my system it will also be a fair bit worse.

For example, the is a well know suggestion for nervous public speakers to imagine your audience are all fully naked - too many friends and family involved to make that work.
Anyways, its not nerves that's the problem, it's emotions.

Please help [serious and sensible options only please - this is no joking matter]

Time for some tough love. If you well up, SO WHAT?!! Blimey, it’s your daughter. If it was Scot and Charlene on the tele (and even then) but it isn’t. Nothing wrong with getting emotional. Just relax and enjoy the day, everyone will be with you and it’s not a bloody test. It’s a lovely moment where you can tell everyone just how much she means to (and has bankrupted) you. Have a wonderful day.

 

[Postman Pat]

Glass of water, everytime you get to an 'emotional' section, stop, take a deep breath, a drink of water and plough on.

Enjoy the day, it'll go by in a flash.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

My eldest daughter should have got married a few weeks ago, now cancelled until next year. Luckily I'm not an emotional wreck when it comes to matters of the heart but I might try and squeeze out a tear for the sympathy vote when it comes to the bar tab!
I've gone over every scenario in my head and thought, just go with it.
Enjoy your day, er, I mean your daughters day

 

[MattBackHome]

To add: Mrs MBH reckons "if he's crying all the time in the practice then I reckon he won't when it comes to the real thing".

She has a peculiar habit of being right. [emoji38]ol:

 

[cheshunt seagull]

My advice would be to rehearse it quite a few times so you are really familiar with the words and how they sound but if you are emotional it really won't be a problem.