Embarressing names parents give their children...

[Juan Albion]

Leyton orient fan has a son called "Leyton" and his going to name his daughter "Orieana"

Asking for trouble naming your kids after something that is always going down.

I have a friend called Lee King. She works for the local water company.

The leader of the Conservatives in Ontario is John Tory.

 

[Chesney Christ]

I went to school with someone called Twat McKenzie.

What on earth were the parents thinking?!

 

[Bwian]

Our music teacher was Gordon Bennett!

That was the name of a good friend of mine in Canada-he changed his name to Shane (after the cowboy ).

People who lived around the road from us (The Nutts) named their daughter Hazel

 

[Halftime Oranges]

When I worked on the deli counter at Co-op in Blatchington Road, I worked with a bloke called Simon Knellor.

(think about it for a little bit - I assure you, its worth it).

That took me a while excellent

 

[withdeanwombat]

Is this the time to mention Ophelia Grant who married Barry Dick?
Well,probably not ,but it is late Baz!

 

[withdeanwombat]

And a genuine one,though not a first name.We had a neighbour surname Bath,who married his girlfriend surname Boal.Honest!

 

[withdeanwombat]

And without giving away secrets,Galloper,....my surname is Wight,and my wife refused to let me call either of my daughters Isla.That would have made them get married!

 

[Yorkie]

Ned's Aunty in Yorkshire had a daughter that she wanted to call Pearl (this was a while ago) Someone had to point out that with a surname of Gates it probably wasn't a good idea.

Initials can cause a problem too even when you have thought everything out.

My daughter was Amanda Louise and my prev married name Flynn

ALF seemed innocuous enough but when she was 5 or 6 years old the Alien Life Form tv programme became compulsive viewing for all her schoolmates.

 

[John Dorian]

The Beckhams new boy..............Cruz!!!!!!!!! What kind of a name is that It is a girls name in spainish to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparantly translated in english it translates too "cross" so he's a cross beckham.
a) what does beckham do best
b) He's a cross beckham ... I know beckham wears sorrongs but this is goin too far !!!!
c) he's alrady got one of those as a tattoo !!!

 

[Ratso2005]

A customer came up on our database here once, a Mr Paul Bearer.

And he lived in Gravesend.

 

[Stat Brother]

Come on people, 4 pages in & no mention of the Neville Brothers' dad's name.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Neville Neville, pure genius.

 

[Bwian]

There's an electrician in Littlehampton called Wayne King (or maybe Kerr)

It's Kerr:

Wayne Kerr Electronics Ltd
Vinnetrow Business Park
Vinnetrow Road
Runcton
Chichester
West Sussex
PO20 1QH UK

Used to be a customer of mine!

 

[Easy 10]

They actually did this subject on a radio phone in a while back. The best one I heard was a bloke who's surname was Bath, and he married an Indian lady who's name was Arminda.

 

[Hampden Park]

met some gooduns in the navy
oliver pint
mark staines (he was a seaman)
peter peterkins
alan allan
geoff geoffers and many more

 

[Saint Lennard]

The Beckhams new boy..............Cruz!!!!!!!!! What kind of a name is that It is a girls name in spainish to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just assumed that to follow along the same lines as Brooklyn and taking account of their use of the queens english the chav was conceived on a Cruise?!

 

[Saint Lennard]

..of course not....cos surely the other two would've been named Dover and Calais!

 

[On the Left Wing]

To bore you all .... this was a piece I wrote a few years ago ... all genuine:

What's in a name?

by Nic Outterside and Karen Allan, Aberdeen Press & Journal
Andy Warhol once said that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. But some people, either by accident or design, are destined to a lifetime in lights...and it's all in a name.



John Lennon is alive and well and enjoying the odd bridie in Forfar.

Glenn Miller is also quite in the mood in New Pitsligo.

And how could Brechin be dull when it provides a home to James Dean?

Sounds too far fetched to be true? Well, just ask Karen Carpenter, who's bought a ticket to reside in Livingston.

"I’ve always been a bit of a Carpenters fan," said 42-year-old Karen, "I really do like their music, but I only acquired the name when I married.

"It’s been quite a hoot because I am often teased by people saying: 'Nice to meet someone famous at last'.

"My sister-in-law was born with the name Karen Carpenter," she added, "but lost the Carpenter bit last year when she got married...I think she's a bit disappointed."

James Dean, of Jenner Place, Brechin, was given the name after his father, and his father before him, who was christened long before the Hollywood rebel without a cause lived out the adage to die young.

Mr Dean is director of Brechin City Football Club, and his name features on every match programme.

"Last week, I was getting a hire car at Manchester Airport and the women at the desk noticed my name and asked me about it," he said.

"It’s something you get used to, and you get a few jibes.

"There are a few songs with my name in it - like American Pie - and that's a bit strange.

"I’ve got a tie with a picture of James Dean on it which I wear once or twice a year.

I use the name as a novelty, and I quite enjoy it. I use it when it suits me, and people do remember me for it."

Elsewhere, Scotland has a plethora of name-alike deceased stars.

An investigation by the Press and Journal has discovered five Brian Joneses in Aberdeenshire, a Jim Morrison in Glasgow and two Glenn Millers in Angus and Banff.

Further afield there is a Jimi Hendrix alive and well in Wareham, Dorset, a Janice Joplin in Rossendale, Lancashire, three Freddie Mercurys in Hampshire, an amazing 16 Elvis Presleys in places as diverse as Birmingham, Halifax and Blackburn, and one Marilyn Monroe in Bristol.

Gary Coopers positively abound - there are more than 200 of them in the UK and seven live in Aberdeenshire and Angus.

Two Jimmy Stewarts reside in Dunfermline and Galashiels and a pair of Kirk Douglases live and work in East Kilbride and Lochwinnoch.

Hollywood would not be complete without Cary Grant of Aberdeen's Brebner Crescent - one of six who shares the name.

"It’s my grandmother’s fault," says 26-year-old Cary.

"She called my dad Cary, because she was a bit of a fan and then the name was passed on to me.

"I’ve seen a couple of Cary Grant films, but the problem is I usually have nae realised it is him and people say to me: 'Hey that’s Cary Grant'.

"The worse thing is that other people often call me Gary," he laughed.

But name doppelgangers don't stop with dead screen legends.

Most people may think that rock legend Bob Dylan lives in San Francisco. But the P&J discovered him living in Burton on Trent.

If you’re looking for Mad Max then look no further than Bond Close, Warrington, where you'll find Mel Gibson quite at home.

We couldn’t find a Tom Cruise or a Nicole Kidman, but two Nicola Kidmans live in Cambridge and Bootle, Merseyside.

And you can choose from any one of 13 Tom Hanks or eight Bruce Willises who can be found in towns as far afield as Cheltenham, Huddersfield and Sudbury.

Or maybe the man with no name is more up your dusty street. There are six Clint Eastwoods - three of whom live in the wilds of West Yorkshire.

But if you're a fan of Flubber, Mrs Doubtfire and Dead Poets Society, Robin Williams, of Breakish in Skye, has a tale to tell.

Mr Williams, a self-employed joiner and carpenter, has not experienced many problems with his name.

"There has been no comments out of the ordinary. You don't think about it after a while.

"Everyone asks you if you make the same money, which I unfortunately don't."

Living with a name which shouts out from pop billboards or cinema credits can prove something of a bane as well as a boon.

The UK's biggest grossing film Notting Hill portrayed the agony of stardom.

While the film's star Hugh Grant has endured his own share of real-life paparazzi hounding during the past two weeks, spare a thought for 84 other people who share his name - including three in Aberdeen.

His screen love Julia Roberts shares her name with more than 400 women, including a match in Stenhousemuir.

And Grant's erstwhile partner Liz Hurley could chat to 18 others who have her name. Hugh Grant, of Bridge of Don, Aberdeen, knows the price of fame.

Several years ago one of his former bosses was called Mark Thatcher, and Mr Grant was not backward in teasing him. Now, of course, he suffers the same fate.

"I regret giving him such a hard time," he said.

"The stuff I get depends on what's happening, what's topical on the day and if he's in the news.

"I get a lot of clients at work asking me about it. I got an e-mail the other day from the National Oil Corporation in Korea asking if the famous Hugh Grant worked here, as they wanted him to do a job.

"The name travels far. It's great fun and, I must admit, I wouldn't have any other name."

Meanwhile, Liz Hurley goes under the name Betty in Edinburgh.

Retired Mrs Hurley acquired her name on marriage and did not think anything of it until her namesake became famous six years ago, after the premiere of the film Four Weddings and a Funeral.

She said: "I’m getting used to it now. There used to be lots of comments from people round here - there seems to be something about a famous name that people like.

"I may share a name, but unfortunately don’t have her looks or money. I've been a housewife, and haven't seen much of her glamorous lifestyle either," she joked.

But perhaps all this name-matching should be taken with a large pinch of Disney dust.

For all the 57 George Bests or 150 Zoe Balls spare a lasting thought for Donald Duck, of Mallaig, and Michael Mouse, of Gateshead, Tyne and Wear.

Dr Donald Duck, a retired GP, is philosophical: "It has been quite a nuisance in my job, but does not last very long. Most people just accept it."

Despite having one of the most recognised names in the world, Dr Duck can claim to be an original. When his parents named him 75 years ago, the Disney character was still 10 years away.

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

There was a guy at Sussex uni called Gaylord, I felt for him

Didnt think Kev the ape had a degree

 

[Yorkie]

Following on from Nic's article my late Father in law's name was Michael Jackson.

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

Two of my friends are getting married this June, called Adam Taylor and Jenna Springate, so her new name will be....

Also I teach kids called Shogun (after the car) , Keegan (Have a guess) and Shagville (havent a bloody clue)