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[Food] Elderly couple rave about 'gorgeous' pâté before realising they've been eating cat food









Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,882
But... the tin has a picture of a cat on it....

Did they think they were eating cat páté? Or Cáté if you like.

Means nothing. I've got a tin of Lyle's Golden Syrup with a dead lion on it, doesn't mean to say it's made of, or for, dead lions. (Does it?)
 


CP 0 3 BHA

Well-known member
Nov 28, 2003
2,258
Northants
A few years ago my late father added to the family folklore about him when we came in to find him complaining about the sandwich he had made himself while we were out - using my sister's M&S Olive handcream that she had left on one of the kitchen worktops.
 


Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,380
Yes. I suppose I meant causing offense by avoidable thoughtlessness. I remember once a student of mine turned up for work wearing all black (this was early 90s) and I quipped 'either you've run out of coloured clothes or you hamster has died'.

Her reply was 'Actually it was my grandmother'.

:facepalm:

Timeless reminder that careless talk CAN cost lives.

Me and Best Mate (BM) tend to meet up with giant scary Sarf London mutual acquaintance Big Dave (Big Dave) about once a year. We tend to meet at the Snooty Fox in Three Bridges. Last time we met up, year before covid, conversation went something like this;

Me: How's things with you then Big Dave?
Big Dave: Not too good actually mate, me dad died on tuesday
Me: Sorry to hear that mate
BM: Sorry to hear that Big Dave. Know exactly how you feel mate, one of our gerbils died last week

:eek:

I swear at the first TWITCH of a hint of a snigger, I wouldn't have lived to be here today to tell the totally unblemished tale :lol:
 






AmexRuislip

Retired Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
34,782
Ruislip
True, I believe you can still laugh at things, but be sometimes think about things a little more, and ask why did they do that, bad eye sight, amnesia, dementia etc etc....

Still can be funny, laugh or cry conundrum I guess..

My late aunt who was very prim and proper, developed dementia and ended up in a care home.
On one such day, she was given plasticine to play with.
No harm there, you think, but as regression back to her childhood came out, the plasticine ended up resembling a proud phallic symbol
:facepalm:
 








Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
14,285
Cumbria
Yes. I suppose I meant causing offense by avoidable thoughtlessness. I remember once a student of mine turned up for work wearing all black (this was early 90s) and I quipped 'either you've run out of coloured clothes or you hamster has died'.

Her reply was 'Actually it was my grandmother'.

:facepalm:

A lad I played football with was in the paper as he had lost his licence speeding over the A66 to see his Mum who was poorly. There was a general commiseration with him over his licence, and I said something cheery to lighten the mood along the lines of 'oh well, every cloud has a silver lining - at least your Mum will have been pleased to see you early'. Only for his response to be 'She was dead when I got there'.

I felt very unintentionally small.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,232
Faversham
A lad I played football with was in the paper as he had lost his licence speeding over the A66 to see his Mum who was poorly. There was a general commiseration with him over his licence, and I said something cheery to lighten the mood along the lines of 'oh well, every cloud has a silver lining - at least your Mum will have been pleased to see you early'. Only for his response to be 'She was dead when I got there'.

I felt very unintentionally small.

Top work. It may be a gift and, if so, I have it :mad:
 




Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
21,530
The arse end of Hangleton
Yes. I suppose I meant causing offense by avoidable thoughtlessness. I remember once a student of mine turned up for work wearing all black (this was early 90s) and I quipped 'either you've run out of coloured clothes or you hamster has died'.

Her reply was 'Actually it was my grandmother'.

:facepalm:

And there was me thinking Mr Lewis at Stringer was the most inappropriate teacher ever ! Well, until he was murdered anyway.
 


jackanada

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2011
3,513
Brighton
In my brief stint at teaching a teenage boy ran up to me in the playground and asked me to tie his laces back up for him. "Can't you do that yourself?" sprang to my lips and was a nanosecond away from being delivered with condescension when fortuitously an urgent intercept arrived from visual processing to point out he only had one arm.
Still makes me cringe even though I avoided it.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,232
Faversham
And there was me thinking Mr Lewis at Stringer was the most inappropriate teacher ever ! Well, until he was murdered anyway.

I give some lectures on the treatment of heart disease. One of my stock in trade quips, which I first used 30 years ago, is that a heart attack is actually a quick way to go, much less lingering than cancer, and I'd be happy to end my days that way "albeit not till I'm about 120, and in bed with a couple of young women". That used to get a chuckle. Then one year, stoney silence. I looked around and realised the class demographic had changed over the years. It had become 80% female and >50% second or third generation offspring of immigrants from parts of the world that take religion a bit more seriously than an oik from Portslade. :facepalm:
 




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