[Drinking] Dry January -- anyone continuing?

[CHAPPERS]

No apology necessary and your post wasn’t condescending at all.

Yes, it’s a tough one if you’re in your twenties and are used to heavy socialising. I can also relate to the difficulty in refusing the offer of a drink. As Oscar Wilde said, I can resist anything except temptation.

The answer can only come from within yourself. Although I’ve only stopped for 5 weeks or so, I feel there’s every chance that I’ll not drink again. Well, I could just possibly imagine doing so if an old friend turned on my doorstep with a great bottle of wine, but I can’t imagine going to the supermarket and filling my trolley with bottles ever again.

There’s no secret method or mantra that will do it for you. You simply have to make the decision, and realise all the benefits. When I finally stopped smoking 25 years ago, I succeeded by realising that I wasn’t actually 'giving up' anything at all. Language like 'giving up' reinforces the idea that you’re depriving yourself of something beneficial. Once I realised that stopping smoking wasn’t a deprivation but a liberation, I was able to stop without any discomfort at all. It was more like being released from prison. I feel the same way about stopping drinking. 5 weeks of no hangovers, 9 pounds lighter, and with an extra £600 in the bank, are enough reasons to persuade me that I’ve made the right decision.

As it happens I’ve not been invited to any big social events in the past month but when these inevitably arise I will happily go and, I’m certain, have a pleasant time without needing to drink. If I’m standing there for 3 hours constantly thinking that I’m depriving myself, I will fail. I will confront these situations with total confidence in myself, and a slight, concealed smugness in the knowledge that all these giggling loons around me are going to feel like shit in the morning while I won’t. I’m determined to enjoy that feeling. When people ask why I’m not drinking I’ll cheerfully explain that it was a decision I made for myself. Maybe I won’t say I’ve stopped permanently but I will say that I’ve decided to stop for a while. This will sound less daunting to myself and will probably help deflect the conversation.

You said yourself that it’s costing you a lot. If you use a debit card in the pub it’s worth going through your last few months of statements to see just how much you’re spending. But more than that you might have to fully come to terms with the absurdity of it all. As someone said, our society is totally obsessed with boozing. I occasionally catch bits of Coronation St as my wife watches it. My god, they are obsessed with drinking, and it’s always presented as a deliciously naughty pleasure. Let’s treat ourselves to a bottle of wine, let’s meet in the Rovers. Booze is everywhere. I was watching a cop show last night and two senior detectives were in their office, sharing a bottle of malt whisky. There’s no way on earth that would happen in real life but we have to invent new ways to promote the idea that we should all be guzzling alcohol at home, at work, and everywhere else. The idea that we can’t enjoy ourselves unless we’re drunk is crazy if you stop to think about it.

Sorry, this is a longer post than intended. But have a think about it and try to understand how mad it all is. It can be daunting to think 'Right, I’ll never drink ever again' but you could decide you will stop for a month and take it from there. Ideally you’d put the money you would have spent on booze into a special account that you’ll use to treat your 2-yr old, or watch it mount up and turn into a deposit on a place of your own. Good luck. You can do it.

I read this book when I stopped drinking a few months ago (possibly permanently, we'll see) - https://www.hive.co.uk/Product/Cath...g-Sober--THE-SUNDAY-TIMES-BESTSELLER/21338672

As much as she was a real problem drinker and a lot of it doesn't/didn't apply to me (or at least I didn't think it did) it's an excellent book and takes on a lot of the issues that come with being dry.

 

[The Clamp]

bloody awful stuff , literally don't see it here

I don’t mind a cold, weak lager on a baking hot day as a livener. But I do draw the line at Fosters.

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

Thankyou for the advise, I realise this part of my post may have come across condescending perhaps, it really wasn’t meant to! Of course all recommendations are welcome, I just assumed there are more chance of someone older than I having gone through something similar already! Apologies to all.

That's fine, I just meant to clarify that I'm talking as somebody roughly the same age as you doing something vaguely similar at the moment, not as somebody who nailed this years ago and has been dry for the last ten years.

 

[Colonel Mustard]

I read this book when I stopped drinking a few months ago (possibly permanently, we'll see) - https://www.hive.co.uk/Product/Cath...g-Sober--THE-SUNDAY-TIMES-BESTSELLER/21338672

As much as she was a real problem drinker and a lot of it doesn't/didn't apply to me (or at least I didn't think it did) it's an excellent book and takes on a lot of the issues that come with being dry.

Thanks, now purchased. Not that I feel I need a boost at all but am just interested.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

I so wanted to continue dry January into next month but I wet myself again last night

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

Two approaches really - be honest with people and then you'll find out where your mates are. With my friendship groups, I have one lot who don't always invite me out to beer festivals thinking I won't enjoy it, the other lot have realised that they have a driver in the group so make sure they invite me along.

There are some ways of cutting down without everyone noticing. If you drink slowly and it isn't your round next, whoever gets the next one in is unlikely to put up too much of a fight if you turn their offer down given the cost of a pint these days. Another is that if you often get a spirit and mixer just buy yourself the mixer part as people will just assume that you have the spirit there - works well later in the evening when you mix it with the 'not this time' option.

Good luck with the saving

 

[Cotton Socks]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

Take £50 cash with you, leave debit cards at home and temporarily delete mobile forms of payment. Tell your mates you're not getting into rounds (you're going to have to be very firm on that one) You can also tell them you have to drive early in the morning so you're watching how much you're drinking. Work out how many units are in a pint of what your drinking, 3.6% = 2 units, 5.2% =3 units. It takes 1 unit, an hour to leave your body. 5 pints at 3 units will take 15 hours to leave your body. Work out 'how' you drink. Do you drink the first drink slowly or quickly? What happens with the subsequent ones as you get more drunk, do you speed up? Setting an alarm or reminder to go off every now and then can be helpful so you don't forget you're trying to moderate (every 30 mins if ness). Remember that £50 has to last and you'd like to have change from it.
Set up savings for school uniform (it will come around faster than what you think) then put your change into it. Just going from £200 to £50 will be enough for 1 set of school uniform but don't save the £150. Or a 'treat fund' for him, if you go out once a month with £50 and have £5 change that's £60 in a year that could be spent on a family day out. It's going to be about changing your habits when you do go out rather than stopping altogether, you need to change your mindset and actually take notice during the night how much you're drinking. If that comes with an emotional blackmail reminder to yourself that you can't spend over £50 as your son will be going to school in rags on his 1st day or miss out on a family day (or something that will make you feel a bit guilty), then so be it. It's worth a try.

 

[The Clamp]

Take £50 cash with you, leave debit cards at home and temporarily delete mobile forms of payment. Tell your mates you're not getting into rounds (you're going to have to be very firm on that one) You can also tell them you have to drive early in the morning so you're watching how much you're drinking. Work out how many units are in a pint of what your drinking, 3.6% = 2 units, 5.2% =3 units. It takes 1 unit, an hour to leave your body. 5 pints at 3 units will take 15 hours to leave your body. Work out 'how' you drink. Do you drink the first drink slowly or quickly? What happens with the subsequent ones as you get more drunk, do you speed up? Setting an alarm or reminder to go off every now and then can be helpful so you don't forget you're trying to moderate (every 30 mins if ness). Remember that £50 has to last and you'd like to have change from it.
Set up savings for school uniform (it will come around faster than what you think) then put your change into it. Just going from £200 to £50 will be enough for 1 set of school uniform but don't save the £150. Or a 'treat fund' for him, if you go out once a month with £50 and have £5 change that's £60 in a year that could be spent on a family day out. It's going to be about changing your habits when you do go out rather than stopping altogether, you need to change your mindset and actually take notice during the night how much you're drinking. If that comes with an emotional blackmail reminder to yourself that you can't spend over £50 as your son will be going to school in rags on his 1st day or miss out on a family day (or something that will make you feel a bit guilty), then so be it. It's worth a try.

Or just say

“I’m not drinking at the moment”?

 

[Cotton Socks]

Or just say

“I’m not drinking at the moment”?

But he wants to drink on a night out, he doesn't drink indoors. He said he doesn't want to piss £200 up the wall and get completely wasted.

 

[The Clamp]

But he wants to drink on a night out, he doesn't drink indoors. He said he doesn't want to piss £200 up the wall and get completely wasted.

Oh I don’t know then?! Exercise some self control.

It’s not that hard.

 

[Colonel Mustard]

Take £50 cash with you, leave debit cards at home and temporarily delete mobile forms of payment. Tell your mates you're not getting into rounds (you're going to have to be very firm on that one) You can also tell them you have to drive early in the morning so you're watching how much you're drinking. Work out how many units are in a pint of what your drinking, 3.6% = 2 units, 5.2% =3 units. It takes 1 unit, an hour to leave your body. 5 pints at 3 units will take 15 hours to leave your body. Work out 'how' you drink. Do you drink the first drink slowly or quickly? What happens with the subsequent ones as you get more drunk, do you speed up? Setting an alarm or reminder to go off every now and then can be helpful so you don't forget you're trying to moderate (every 30 mins if ness). Remember that £50 has to last and you'd like to have change from it.
Set up savings for school uniform (it will come around faster than what you think) then put your change into it. Just going from £200 to £50 will be enough for 1 set of school uniform but don't save the £150. Or a 'treat fund' for him, if you go out once a month with £50 and have £5 change that's £60 in a year that could be spent on a family day out. It's going to be about changing your habits when you do go out rather than stopping altogether, you need to change your mindset and actually take notice during the night how much you're drinking. If that comes with an emotional blackmail reminder to yourself that you can't spend over £50 as your son will be going to school in rags on his 1st day or miss out on a family day (or something that will make you feel a bit guilty), then so be it. It's worth a try.

There’s nothing wrong with any of those ideas — IF you’re the sort of person with the self-discipline to implement them. There are loads of devices for working more productively, time management, losing weight etc, and reducing drinking eg having a glass of water between each drink, moving on to no-alcohol alternatives halfway through the night etc. They will work for some people because "we're all an experiment of one" but TBH they have never worked for me. As @The Clamp says, for some of us the only way is to say f*** it, I’m not drinking tonight/this month whatever, and I don’t care what anyone thinks.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Haven't really fancied a drink this year. I'm not trying to give up, or cut down just not fancied it.
I've put weight on since Christmas

 

[Colonel Mustard]

Haven't really fancied a drink this year. I'm not trying to give up, or cut down just not fancied it.
I've put weight on since Christmas

I eat so much crap food when I drink that I've automatically dropped in weight since being dry.

 

[Questions]

View attachment 175006

I’m not paying a tena for them

 

[Weststander]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

By the time I was 30 on long nights out with mates, I switched to shandy. For no grandiose reason, just the taste of beer probably wasn’t my natural drink to love. The “lightweight” jibes soon died off. It won’t save you any money, but hangovers/grumpiness completely disappear without you losing your social life. My mates all felt like crap the next day, possibly going into an additional day, whilst I felt fine.

 

[Dorset Seagull]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

A few years ago I did a thing called the Alcohol Experiment which is a great way to learn how to stop drinking. Not sure if is still available for free but certainly worth checking out if its still available online. Even if you dont fully give up it is a great way to cut right down and only drink the early drinks you enjoy in the evening and not those you drink after, which are more of a habit

PS Found it

https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-register-today

 

[Bry Nylon]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

What worked for me was simply telling myself that, “I’m not drinking today.” That doesn’t feel quite so ambitious or unattainable as saying, “I’m never going to drink again.”
It feels manageable and very do-able but not necessarily ‘forever’ which can seem a bit daunting. Just a choice for today.

So far as I’m concerned, I haven’t given up drinking; I’ve just decided not to bother today (in fact I haven’t even thought about it). And it’s been like that for about, what? 1000+ days now.

It’s not a method that works for everyone but it worked for me. Good luck

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I’m not paying a tena for them

There is other ones....go compare

 

[luge]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

Ask the question- do you actually want to drink?

I was offered beers after a good work meeting today with some people involved in a deal.

A past me would have said yes no problem, but i just simply said 'sorry lads, just not up for drinking today, but I'll come for a lime and soda. '

In the end, both of them didnt want pints either. I rekon if i had bent, we would have got on the beers.

I walked past several pubs on the way back to the station, with loads of people drinking and I was glad in my decision.

I'm looking forward to Saturday where i have prepared for having beers. And I'm looking forward to not drinking again after for a significant time after.

My decision to cut down is multi faceted. I want to be fitter after a period of ill health. I want to lose some weight. I want to be there to see my kids grow up and start their own families. And it's also f***ing expensive to have booze at the moment.

Perhaps it will lead to complete sobriety, it will definitely lead to longer periods of it.

I think you are doing a wonderful thing, not drinking in front of your kid.

 

[Cotton Socks]

Oh I don’t know then?! Exercise some self control.

It’s not that hard.

I take it that your 'understanding addiction' certificate is in the post to you? Alcohol is the most addictive legal substance there is, even more addictive as it's completely socially acceptable, ingrained and encouraged in our society. If exercising some self control was that easy no one would be having this conversation.

There’s nothing wrong with any of those ideas — IF you’re the sort of person with the self-discipline to implement them. There are loads of devices for working more productively, time management, losing weight etc, and reducing drinking eg having a glass of water between each drink, moving on to no-alcohol alternatives halfway through the night etc. They will work for some people because "we're all an experiment of one" but TBH they have never worked for me. As @The Clamp says, for some of us the only way is to say f*** it, I’m not drinking tonight/this month whatever, and I don’t care what anyone thinks.

It is very difficult to implement them & only the person I responded to can judge whether it works or not.

A few years ago I did a thing called the Alcohol Experiment which is a great way to learn how to stop drinking. Not sure if is still available for free but certainly worth checking out if its still available online. Even if you dont fully give up it is a great way to cut right down and only drink the early drinks you enjoy in the evening and not those you drink after, which are more of a habit

PS Found it

https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-register-today

The book that goes with that, 'Annie Grace - This Naked Mind' can be a game changer!