[Drinking] Dry January -- anyone continuing?

[Sid and the Sharknados]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

When I gave up for a while last year I made a point of still going to the social events I had lined up (office summer party, leaving drinks etc.) and sticking to the non alcoholic options, because I wanted to try and get out of the assumption that social event = getting pissed.
I found it surprisingly OK (without wanting to get into self diagnosis, I tend to get anxious in social situations and down about 4pints on arrival to get through it). If you go in having committed to not drinking it's fine, you get the happy party buzz from being there anyway.

I started drinking on Fridays/Saturdays again in Autumn, which I was happy enough with, but then it all sort of fell apart in January.

Edit: as far as "older peers" are concerned, I'm early 30s, so only slightly older.

 

[sydney]

I can honestly say that meeting up with friends and having dinner or lunch, alcohol free is a joy.

Would have been unthinkable in my twenties.

Apart form anything else;

Meal without alcohol = £20/25 each

Meal with alcohol = £50-70 each.

No brainer these days

And a night in the pub isn’t much cheaper. At £6.50 for a mediocre IPA in The Bridge

6.50 a pint...?? ouch...!!

 

[Greg Bobkin]

It's mad how the culture in this country revolves around booze so much. I'm not sure it is like it in many other places. Not drinking at all is a bit boring, but mainly because of the way our society is here. I don't think it would be in most countries.

I definitely drink way too much, but I do still really enjoy it, and rarely drink in the week unless there is an Albion game on / work event or something. I definitely think moderating your drinking is harder than abstaining altogether.

It's TOTALLY weird. I have it a lot of thought over the first few weeks that I'd stopped and realised that EVERYTHING revolved around booze.

Sad? Have a drink? Happy? Have a drink? Stressed? Have a drink? Cold day? Have a drink? Hot day? Have a drink. Etc etc etc

I'm also never sure why people are 'boring' for not drinking. Especially when you see the comatose state of hungover drinkers the morning after. The epitome of boring. And miserable!

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Interested to hear what others are drinking instead. At home we have got into the habit of drinking a glass or two of wine with every evening meal. I'm now beginning to think that's not really a good idea! We've been searching for decent non-alcoholic wines (and spirits) for ages, and always been disappointed. But recently have come across a few non-alcoholic drinks that we really like:

Strykk non-gin....add tonic, ice and a twist of lemon, and it's great!
Zeno red wine....has a very slight vinegary taste at first, but (for me) by far the best zero alcohol wine I've tasted
Thatchers Zero (cider)...almost indistinguishable from the alcoholic version - very nice on a warm day.

Yeah, like TC I'm not into non-alcoholic versions of traditional booze (apart from Guinness or the occasional beer). I'm happy with a fizzy soft drink, water or a coffee.

 

[Rambo]

Been on a keto diet since Jan 1st. Not had a drop of alcohol or caffeine. I have lost a stone in weight and saved a tonne of money.

Feel great but starting to plateau on the weight loss. Now the temptation is coming back. It’s easier at the moment as this time of year I don’t get out much, but come the spring and summer it’s going to be harder to stick to.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Would be great to get some advise from my older peers on here with regards to this. I’m in my late twenties and have been trying to stop drinking completely, I have a young family (my boy is 2 years old) and am also unfortunately in the rent game and would love to get out of it, so these are the two main aims to stop; to save a little extra money for a house deposit, and to spend the valuable time I have around work with my son without being miserable due to a hangover, or drunk. I don’t want him growing up with a dad that always drinks, and I have reduced significantly since he was born. I have never had a drink in my house in front of him, and can quite easily do tasks like dry January if I’m home the whole month, I never fancy a drink at home.

However, I find the money I am saving in the general weekly shop etc I am probably spending double when I do go out to make up for it. The in laws took over management of a pub a couple of weeks ago, and I went to support them on Saturday night and woke up Sunday over £200 lighter. I’m finding whenever I go out to socialise I go big, very big and get absolutely plastered and make sure my mates do aswell along the way. I find it physically impossible to say no to at least 1 beer when I’m invited out, and once I’ve got the taste, well, the rest is history. The answer, though, is not as simple as just dont go out. My social life is important to me and as I say, in my late twenties, meet ups with friends tend to be in pubs, restaurants or at the football. All places alcohol are readily available.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Or any recommendations would be much appreciated.

Do you drive? If so, go to the pub and then you can't drink?

I'm fortunate that I'm a stubborn bastard and wouldn't be pressured into drinking. But I completely get that for most people the temptation is very real - I'm the same with some foods!

But a lot of it comes down to willpower and REALLY not wanting to drink. Going against the grain isn't easy but, it's worth it. There are probably a tonne of books, videos, podcasts and even stuff from AA that could help give you the confidence/mindset to no have that first beer.

Also, tell your friends and hope that they are supportive. You never know, one of them might be in the same boat as you...

Good luck.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Very kind of you to say CR, but let’s just say I am slightly over 35

Home Guard then?

 

[BevBHA]

Edit: as far as "older peers" are concerned, I'm early 30s, so only slightly older.

Thankyou for the advise, I realise this part of my post may have come across condescending perhaps, it really wasn’t meant to! Of course all recommendations are welcome, I just assumed there are more chance of someone older than I having gone through something similar already! Apologies to all.

 

[The Clamp]

6.50 a pint...?? ouch...!!

Mad isn’t it!

 

[BevBHA]

Do you drive? If so, go to the pub and then you can't drink?

I'm fortunate that I'm a stubborn bastard and wouldn't be pressured into drinking. But I completely get that for most people the temptation is very real - I'm the same with some foods!

But a lot of it comes down to willpower and REALLY not wanting to drink. Going against the grain isn't easy but, it's worth it. There are probably a tonne of books, videos, podcasts and even stuff from AA that could help give you the confidence/mindset to no have that first beer.

Also, tell your friends and hope that they are supportive. You never know, one of them might be in the same boat as you...

Good luck.

Thanks for this! The driving suggestion was the first thing I tried, unfortunately I just ended up getting a taxi home and then the predicament of getting my car back the next day

To be honest it’s really hard because it’s not like I don’t enjoy it, I massively enjoy it. Celebrating smashing them 4-1 on Saturday was great! It’s the next 1, 2, 3 days that I always feel shit, having looked at my bank account and taking a few days to catch up on the sleep / hangover.

Thanks again!

 

[Commander]

It's TOTALLY weird. I have it a lot of thought over the first few weeks that I'd stopped and realised that EVERYTHING revolved around booze.

Sad? Have a drink? Happy? Have a drink? Stressed? Have a drink? Cold day? Have a drink? Hot day? Have a drink. Etc etc etc

I'm also never sure why people are 'boring' for not drinking. Especially when you see the comatose state of hungover drinkers the morning after. The epitome of boring. And miserable!

I think the 'boring' part for me comes when you go to a party or a BBQ or something and you are not drinking, and everyone else is. The first couple of hours are OK, and then it gets to the point where everyone else is having fun, where as I am bored and want to go home. I just run out of things to talk about a bit, which I never would if I was drinking. The whole having to explain that you are not drinking (and why) is thoroughly boring as well.

 

[The Clamp]

Thanks for this! The driving suggestion was the first thing I tried, unfortunately I just ended up getting a taxi home and then the predicament of getting my car back the next day

To be honest it’s really hard because it’s not like I don’t enjoy it, I massively enjoy it. Celebrating smashing them 4-1 on Saturday was great! It’s the next 1, 2, 3 days that I always feel shit, having looked at my bank account and taking a few days to catch up on the sleep / hangover.

Thanks again!

Perhaps just go out once a month? If you’re still enjoying getting a bit squiffy and it’s not a problem, just strike a balance.

You’ll likely find after cutting down you feel less like it as time goes on.

I think you said you’re still in your twenties? I think you can still allow yourself a night or two a month where you let your hair down.

Or just save it for high-days and holidays.

That’s what I did for a while and then I just knocked it on the head pretty much altogether.

 

[BLOCK F]

I used to drink quite heavily, especially on Friday nights.
I found my working week starting to include Saturdays as I got busier and it was hell working with a hangover.
Once, I actually tripped whilst working on a roof and went tumbling down.
Luckily the roofs are not steep here and I managed to turn my body as I went over the edge and grabbed the guttering.
I did the math a realised that it was a single story house , like most here, which had 8 ft ceilings.
I am about 6ft and with arms out stretched would be taller.
I looked down and saw I was only 18 inches or so off the floor, so let go.
Lucky I managed to turn on the way down though.
I have since cut right down and only have about 6 pints all week, not over the beer, just over the hangover !

No more nights out on the tiles for you then!

 

[BLOCK F]

Having had a career in the brewing industry, I used to love my beer and socialising generally. Now at 75 and having been retired for some time, the ageing process has taken over and has reduced my capacity to booze, in a natural way….. the body just can’t deal with it like it used to! I still enjoy a good pint of ale on the very odd occasion, usually on holiday, but at home, tend to stick to wine with food and I have absolutely no intention of giving this up. I don’t drink at lunchtime as it would put me to sleep in the afternoon and whilst enjoying a good cognac, Port or malt whisky, these have to be drunk with caution as it buggers me up for the next day. I very rarely go into pubs now as I probably had enough of them in my previous life. It is coffee shops for me at lunchtime and I think I am a little bit addicted!

 

[Colonel Mustard]

Thankyou for the advise, I realise this part of my post may have come across condescending perhaps, it really wasn’t meant to! Of course all recommendations are welcome, I just assumed there are more chance of someone older than I having gone through something similar already! Apologies to all.

No apology necessary and your post wasn’t condescending at all.

Yes, it’s a tough one if you’re in your twenties and are used to heavy socialising. I can also relate to the difficulty in refusing the offer of a drink. As Oscar Wilde said, I can resist anything except temptation.

The answer can only come from within yourself. Although I’ve only stopped for 5 weeks or so, I feel there’s every chance that I’ll not drink again. Well, I could just possibly imagine doing so if an old friend turned on my doorstep with a great bottle of wine, but I can’t imagine going to the supermarket and filling my trolley with bottles ever again.

There’s no secret method or mantra that will do it for you. You simply have to make the decision, and realise all the benefits. When I finally stopped smoking 25 years ago, I succeeded by realising that I wasn’t actually 'giving up' anything at all. Language like 'giving up' reinforces the idea that you’re depriving yourself of something beneficial. Once I realised that stopping smoking wasn’t a deprivation but a liberation, I was able to stop without any discomfort at all. It was more like being released from prison. I feel the same way about stopping drinking. 5 weeks of no hangovers, 9 pounds lighter, and with an extra £600 in the bank, are enough reasons to persuade me that I’ve made the right decision.

As it happens I’ve not been invited to any big social events in the past month but when these inevitably arise I will happily go and, I’m certain, have a pleasant time without needing to drink. If I’m standing there for 3 hours constantly thinking that I’m depriving myself, I will fail. I will confront these situations with total confidence in myself, and a slight, concealed smugness in the knowledge that all these giggling loons around me are going to feel like shit in the morning while I won’t. I’m determined to enjoy that feeling. When people ask why I’m not drinking I’ll cheerfully explain that it was a decision I made for myself. Maybe I won’t say I’ve stopped permanently but I will say that I’ve decided to stop for a while. This will sound less daunting to myself and will probably help deflect the conversation.

You said yourself that it’s costing you a lot. If you use a debit card in the pub it’s worth going through your last few months of statements to see just how much you’re spending. But more than that you might have to fully come to terms with the absurdity of it all. As someone said, our society is totally obsessed with boozing. I occasionally catch bits of Coronation St as my wife watches it. My god, they are obsessed with drinking, and it’s always presented as a deliciously naughty pleasure. Let’s treat ourselves to a bottle of wine, let’s meet in the Rovers. Booze is everywhere. I was watching a cop show last night and two senior detectives were in their office, sharing a bottle of malt whisky. There’s no way on earth that would happen in real life but we have to invent new ways to promote the idea that we should all be guzzling alcohol at home, at work, and everywhere else. The idea that we can’t enjoy ourselves unless we’re drunk is crazy if you stop to think about it.

Sorry, this is a longer post than intended. But have a think about it and try to understand how mad it all is. It can be daunting to think 'Right, I’ll never drink ever again' but you could decide you will stop for a month and take it from there. Ideally you’d put the money you would have spent on booze into a special account that you’ll use to treat your 2-yr old, or watch it mount up and turn into a deposit on a place of your own. Good luck. You can do it.

 

[sydney]

Mad isn’t it!

in shoreham..?? ..yeah bonkers , mate of mine just came back from Oldham , 2.40 a pint and he was moaning about that , everything just gone up another 8% a week ago here in Aus. ,now 12 to 15 bucks a pint , lot of pubs are empty. I've actually tried to knock it on the head for feb but i can't just stop , limiting myself to 2 pints a day for now and then ill try and do a week or 2 right off it....will be the first time for 40 yrs , i'm liking the money in my wallet though so that is definitely an incentive.

 

[The Clamp]

in shoreham..?? ..yeah bonkers , mate of mine just came back from Oldham , 1.40 a pint but i think he drinks stella when he's there

There are some places around here you can get a pint for a reasonable price.

£3.50 for a pint of Fosters. But then you’d be drinking Fosters. And that’s just not on.

 

[sydney]

There are some places around here you can get a pint for a reasonable price.

£3.50 for a pint of Fosters. But then you’d be drinking Fosters. And that’s just not on.

fosters ... rather drink tea.

 

[The Clamp]

fosters ... rather drink tea.

It’s a driving beer really

 

[sydney]

It’s a driving beer really

bloody awful stuff , literally don't see it here