Does the comapny you work for have

[The Merry Prankster]

"There's no I in team" with the response "No but there's a U in c**t" sums it up nicely for me.

 

[Hillian1]

"There's no I in team" with the response "No but there's a U in c**t" sums it up nicely for me.

I am making it a life goal to use this at some point in a team building excercise.

 

[Cornish seagull!]

"There's no I in team" with the response "No but there's a U in c**t" sums it up nicely for me.

I responded in a morning meeting when i was a salesmen " No but theres 2 in comission ". Everyone laughed except the boss lol.

 

[Conkers]

Mine have 9 different values.......yes, 9.

 

[Norman Potting]

I am self employed now but you do see re-organisations happen almost annually with companies you have long standing relationships with.

I work with County and District authorities and the malaise has spread to them as well.

 

[Captain Sensible]

Anyone got the who cares wins video from the office?
It was a brilliant take on office company bullshit.

Here it is...Brilliant

 

[Pondicherry]

The problem with this in my experience has been:

1. The ideas are crap
2. Consequently they never last long and are replaced with another crap idea
3. They consume huge amounts of time telling people about them and promoting them
4. People and in some circumstances whole departments are actually paid money to come up with the crap ideas and this makes me sad.

 

[Giraffe]

No it doesn't but it does have spellcheck unlike you!!

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

I used to work for a company that for many years ago had a monthly £20 prize awarded to the employee who came up with the best cost saving idea. The "initiative" was stopped just after someone recommended that the best cost saving could be achieved by cutting the monthly prize down to £10.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Managing the continu-um

 

[smudge]

The problem with this in my experience has been:

1. The ideas are crap
2. Consequently they never last long and are replaced with another crap idea
3. They consume huge amounts of time telling people about them and promoting them
4. People and in some circumstances whole departments are actually paid money to come up with the crap ideas and this makes me sad.

This. I work for Norwegian Cruise Line, & at the same time they are axing jobs & cutting pay, they come on our ship, stop everyones shore leave to announce (another) fantastic brand launch. Some corporate bint was all hyper, we just sat there watching this bullshit about an $8.5 million campaign for "Cruise like a Norwegian". We were all told that we are part of the "Norwegian Family".
Yes I know, there is a lot of material for sick jokes there. We were given t-shirts with this new slogan on & have to attend a 3 hour training course at some stage to improve guest services. I train the crew in Safety (boats, fire fighting etc) so I don't even speak to guests. Waste of time & money & very demoralising.
We have come up with our own slogans for all the nationalities onboard, some I can't repeat for reasons of political correctness. "Eat like a Filippino" & "smoke like a Romanian" are 2 of the tamer ones.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Do you cruise like a Norwegian or cruise with a Norwegian?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

There has been a massive banner just inside my office building for over a year now with an acronoym of the latest corporate spiel that just says "LEAP" , and I still have no idea what the initials stand for. I could look them up but can't be bothered.

 

[Albion Dan]

The problem with this in my experience has been:

1. The ideas are crap
2. Consequently they never last long and are replaced with another crap idea
3. They consume huge amounts of time telling people about them and promoting them
4. People and in some circumstances whole departments are actually paid money to come up with the crap ideas and this makes me sad.

5. And the reality is that if the staff at your work were doing what they were supposed to be, to help your company be its best for its customers, they wouldn't bother with points 1-4 above.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I always read the banners outside of churches to see what messages they have to lure people in with. I want to see the unsubtle ones like "The devil is inside you. You are about to kill. Step inside for cleansing.", but usually just either get some youth-oriented one written in text speak as if they're tuning in to a new generation of believer, or the latest one near me which says something about wise men seeking the advice of Christ 2000 years ago and there are wise men today still looking - which tells me that Christ is actually nowhere to be found or not the most chatty of sons of God since the whole not-all-humans-won-over-by-the-paul-daniels-show and crucifiction thing.

I work for a health regulator though, so our values are Do It Our Way (by not mistreating patients) Or Pay The Price. I can live with that and on my 40 or so calls a day to take, and fairly happy to address people with a certain amount of inflexibility and disunderstanding.

 

[smudge]

Do you cruise like a Norwegian or cruise with a Norwegian?

It's "Cruise LIKE a Norwegian". The new glossy ad' going out across the states has "love like a Venetian" with a good looking couple enjoying dinner somewhere in Venice (I presume), "party like a Brazilian" showing a good looking couple getting jiggy on the streets of Rio (I presume). There are a couple of others I can't remember, one to do with shopping, but then it shows a good looking couple on one of our ships, with "cruise like a Norwegian". Absolute bollocks!

 

[pishhead]

It's "Cruise LIKE a Norwegian". The new glossy ad' going out across the states has "love like a Venetian" with a good looking couple enjoying dinner somewhere in Venice (I presume), "party like a Brazilian" showing a good looking couple getting jiggy on the streets of Rio (I presume). There are a couple of others I can't remember, one to do with shopping, but then it shows a good looking couple on one of our ships, with "cruise like a Norwegian". Absolute bollocks!

Loot like a londoner? In all seriousness it seems like all this goes hand in hand with working with big multinational companies. The frightening thing is these companies pay huge sums of money for some marketing Whizz to come up with this dirge.

 

[Buzzer]

"There's no I in team" with the response "No but there's a U in c**t" sums it up nicely for me.

..and you can't spell 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'. I didn't last long as a bereavement counsellor.