Do you charge your kids "keep"

[John Byrnes Mullet]

Are you really that hard up?
I know a lot of people who support thier kids through College and University without them working outside jobs.
You should be proud that she is hard working and wants to study.

 

[maltaseagull]

I would think a good compromise would be to charge her say £30/ £50 per month and stick it in a savings acc without telling her.
That way she will have some saving without you shelling out.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Daughter is 16. She's a good kid and i'm very proud of her.

She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college. She takes home around £300 a month

She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.

Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.

I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.

My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.

My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.

I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.

What do you think ?

defo 25% of income even if you dont need it. Bank the cash and its there if you need to help her out later.

 

[essbee]

The trouble with banking money on your daughter's behalf without telling her is
a risk. When she does find out - it might well be a good reaction. On the other hand
she might resent the fact that you have decided for her what her money should be
used on and nobody likes to be deceived, which is what is effectively doing.

So could backfire big time.

 

[Boroseagull]

I would think a good compromise would be to charge her say £30/ £50 per month and stick it in a savings acc without telling her.
That way she will have some saving without you shelling out.

Exactly this. We charged our two when they started full time work, seem to remember it was £100 a month. We didn't need it but it's part of continuing education of the value of money. When they, many years later, left the family home to get married/buy a home of their own we gave it all back plus interest etc. accrued.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

My older kids always paid 1/3rd keep, 1/3 to savings and spend 1/3rd. Did change when they started driving etc, think we went about 25% keep. Bottom line is they must pay something otherwise they are being taught that you don't need to contribute. My youngest kids now, 9 and 11 are incentivised against the cost of gas and electricity, with pocket money based on usage, it's only a small thing but boy do they "sometimes" turn lights off and think about heat usage!

 

[father_and_son]

Exactly this. We charged our two when they started full time work, seem to remember it was £100 a month. We didn't need it but it's part of continuing education of the value of money. When they, many years later, left the family home to get married/buy a home of their own we gave it all back plus interest etc. accrued.

Absolutely this...

For me, the two key points are... "when they work full time" and "gave it all back".

First deposit is the perfect reason to be giving it back too.


At 16, mine pays nothing but like OP's works PT and blows almost all her money [knowing that Granddad will step in with car money sometime soon, despite our protests that she needs to do it herself]. Other than food and a roof over her head though, she gets very little from us now, so its a reasonable compromise between "keep" and being allowed to sponge.

In a couple of months, when she's 17, she'll be taking on her own phone bill as the first proper step to financial independence.

 

[BigGully]

Absolutely this...

For me, the two key points are... "when they work full time" and "gave it all back".

First deposit is the perfect reason to be giving it back too.


At 16, mine pays nothing but like OP's works PT and blows almost all her money [knowing that Granddad will step in with car money sometime soon, despite our protests that she needs to do it herself]. Other than food and a roof over her head though, she gets very little from us now, so its a reasonable compromise between "keep" and being allowed to sponge.

In a couple of months, when she's 17, she'll be taking on her own phone bill as the first proper step to financial independence.

There is something not quite logical about witholding money to 'educate your children' to then unannounced at some later date yet to be determined giving them the money back, just because they are older, married or buying a house.

If this undeserved windfall is the difference between buying a house and not buying it is likely to be unaffordable in anycase, so its no more than a gift and in the context of education of finances doesnt seem to offer much.

It seems simpler to make them pay a reasonable amount once they are working fulltime and let them get on with it, surely thats the educating bit ........

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

It's amazing how accepting a "little" something puts a value on everything. Somehow you appreciate and value things more when you're paying / contributing towards them, it should also be a good feeling on behalf of the child / young adult that they are helping the wider family. Yes you end up giving most of it back in emergency taxi fares, phone repairs, "essential" clothes and the odd loan here and there but they contribute and that, for me, is the key.

 

[jimbob5]

I would think a good compromise would be to charge her say £30/ £50 per month and stick it in a savings acc without telling her.
That way she will have some saving without you shelling out.

in theory she get's it anyway when you and the Mrs peg it in a couple of years or so.

 

[maltaseagull]

in theory she get's it anyway when you and the Mrs peg it in a couple of years or so.

Hopefully longer than that!

 

[drew]

As others have said, perhaps make her pay for the sky whilst she is in education still. However, when she finishes her course, provided she is still earning from the jobs £50 is about right. It's not a commercial rate for room and board but then that's not why you are parents! Put the money in an account and let her have it back when she leaves home . She sounds like she is working hard but equally it's not too good if she is just frittering her money away.

 

[BigBod]

I left home when I was 16 and made my own way in the world. Best thing I ever did....Charge her for living at home...life is not free, gotta be cruel to be kind. Will be worth it in the long run.

 

[Guerrero]

It's never too early to learn that you don't get to keep everything you think you earn.
I have two teenagers working full time and they whinge like mad about paying keep,even though we have looked after them and gone without ourselves for nearly 20 years.We only take 10%, but a lot of their wealthier friends' parents either support their lazy offspring even though they aren't working or going to college/university.Or if they are working take nothing because they don't need to.

 

[Spadge]

Daughter is 16. She's a good kid and i'm very proud of her.

She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college. She takes home around £300 a month

She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.

Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.

I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.

My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.

My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.

I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.

What do you think ?

Sounds to me like you have a sensible daughter who doesnt want to sit on her backside.

Sensible option is to charge her £50 a month but put it in a savings account for her.

She may need the savings if she keeps staying at the boyfriends house

 

[Billy the Fish]

It's never too early to learn that you don't get to keep everything you think you earn.
I have two teenagers working full time and they whinge like mad about paying keep,even though we have looked after them and gone without ourselves for nearly 20 years.We only take 10%, but a lot of their wealthier friends' parents either support their lazy offspring even though they aren't working or going to college/university.Or if they are working take nothing because they don't need to.

It's not their fault you knocked someone up is it! I'm sure they weren't being a burden on purpose just to spite you

 

[Camicus]

Valuable life skills to have :-
Cooking
Sewing
Washing
House cleaning
Budgeting

Charge her rent and get her to do chores it will stand her in good stead in life

 

[Billy the Fish]

I am actually astonished by some of the replies on this thread - some of you lot are f**king weird!!!

 

[fat old seagull]

A small percentage of their disposable net salary... which was used to finance the loans made to them until their next pay day!

 

[nwgull]

I am actually astonished by some of the replies on this thread - some of you lot are f**king weird!!!

I can't help but agree. Maybe it's because I don't have kids that I don't understand, but I thought that it was generally the parents' legal responsibility to feed and shelter the kids until they were 18.

My own experience was pretty much that of the OP's daughter's current situation: parents looked after me until I had finished full time education, and any money I earned from part time work was mine to spend. Spending my Saturdays stacking shelves in Tescos seemed to be enough to teach me the value of money, as well as motivating me to do well at school.