[Help] Divorce help

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

Morning all

Can anyone recommend a decent divorce solicitor?

I know there have been plenty of threads on here in the past with people going through similar stuff, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, particularly as I've suffered from a real lack of support from some of my closest family. I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but it's amazing how oblivious others can be to the things that go on behind closed doors.

Never the less, it's been a little while now and my ex appears to want to sort things out amicably and 'without resorting to solicitors' - so I'm looking for a solicitor who'll be able to give me advice in the background, make sure I'm not having the piss taken out of me (which is entirely possible given the history of my marriage) and then facilitate whatever needs doing to make it happen. We have children, but we're not arguing over them and for their sake I don't want things to get nasty while we work out what happens to the house and my (relatively small) financial assets.

I've never used any kind of legal service before apart from conveyancing, which I did online, so I'm pretty stumped about where to start, and there doesn't seem to be a 'Which' guide or tripadvisor for lawyers. I was also recently let down by someone from a well known local firm just at the point where I was about to start throwing money at him, so I'm slightly nervous about instructing someone who might be equally as unhelpful.

I'm the first person in my circle of friends and family to go through this, so I don't really have anyone to turn to... so please help me NSC!

 

[Goldstone1976]

Very sorry to hear your news - good luck.

I don't know any lawyers in Brighton, but do know excellent divorce lawyers in both London and Cambridge, both of whom can take a brief to keep things fair and reasonable if that's what you want. They'd be fine dealing with you over the phone, but you may want face to face meetings... in which case less so.

 

[martin tyler]

Edward Harte were very helpful based in Brighton. Anna Glenton was the lady I used

 

[NooBHA]

Morning all

Can anyone recommend a decent divorce solicitor?

I know there have been plenty of threads on here in the past with people going through similar stuff, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, particularly as I've suffered from a real lack of support from some of my closest family. I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but it's amazing how oblivious others can be to the things that go on behind closed doors.

Never the less, it's been a little while now and my ex appears to want to sort things out amicably and 'without resorting to solicitors' - so I'm looking for a solicitor who'll be able to give me advice in the background, make sure I'm not having the piss taken out of me (which is entirely possible given the history of my marriage) and then facilitate whatever needs doing to make it happen. We have children, but we're not arguing over them and for their sake I don't want things to get nasty while we work out what happens to the house and my (relatively small) financial assets.

I've never used any kind of legal service before apart from conveyancing, which I did online, so I'm pretty stumped about where to start, and there doesn't seem to be a 'Which' guide or tripadvisor for lawyers. I was also recently let down by someone from a well known local firm just at the point where I was about to start throwing money at him, so I'm slightly nervous about instructing someone who might be equally as unhelpful.

I'm the first person in my circle of friends and family to go through this, so I don't really have anyone to turn to... so please help me NSC!

Ask Heather Mills or any Footballers Wife or Girlfriend. They know all the best ones

 

[Springal]

While not a divorce it wasn’t far off with a long term partner and shared house etc. We did it fairly amicably but still used a solicitor to draw up paperwork etc. They also sorted transfer of equity on the mortgage.

They did push a little bit to try and take things further, but really I was ‘happy’ to give away a bit more equity not to have a longer battle and end up spending more with solicitor.

The only thing I’d say is know what you want from it and to achieve and stick to it and definitely don’t think by being a bit softer it might change anything.

Things will probably get a bit nasty at some point but stay out of it.

Good luck

 

[NooBHA]

Morning all

Can anyone recommend a decent divorce solicitor?

I know there have been plenty of threads on here in the past with people going through similar stuff, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, particularly as I've suffered from a real lack of support from some of my closest family. I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but it's amazing how oblivious others can be to the things that go on behind closed doors.

Never the less, it's been a little while now and my ex appears to want to sort things out amicably and 'without resorting to solicitors' - so I'm looking for a solicitor who'll be able to give me advice in the background, make sure I'm not having the piss taken out of me (which is entirely possible given the history of my marriage) and then facilitate whatever needs doing to make it happen. We have children, but we're not arguing over them and for their sake I don't want things to get nasty while we work out what happens to the house and my (relatively small) financial assets.

I've never used any kind of legal service before apart from conveyancing, which I did online, so I'm pretty stumped about where to start, and there doesn't seem to be a 'Which' guide or tripadvisor for lawyers. I was also recently let down by someone from a well known local firm just at the point where I was about to start throwing money at him, so I'm slightly nervous about instructing someone who might be equally as unhelpful.

I'm the first person in my circle of friends and family to go through this, so I don't really have anyone to turn to... so please help me NSC!

I was joking in my last post. Your wife is actually correct. At least start off without the lawyers. A lot of the stuff you can actually do yourself. It's mostly common sense if you both use it. However, if at any point you don't think you are getting a good deal, you can seek advice professionally

 

[Giraffe]

Julian Hunt, Dean Wilson 01273 249223 jbh@deanwilson.co.uk . Good at his job, but more importantly a nice man and sometimes Albion fan, although cricket is more his bag I believe.

He won't agitate an already difficult situation which is important for everyone involved.

 

[Weststander]

Griffith Smith of Brighton provide efficient and quality service in my experience across several areas of law. Not cheap.

A modern and cheaper approach is to work things out thoroughly between you, then to go to a single firm for formal Mediation and the divorce.

Using two firms usually leads to sh*t raking by one firm, which they then cash in on. With (accountancy) clients, I've seen huge sums disappear in experts fees.

Whoever you choose, get a fixed quote if you can.

 

[DavidRyder]

I can't help, but just wanted to say good luck, hope you can get things sorted

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Myself and the previous Mrs W didn't use a solicitor - we used a mediation service to agree things and then had a seperation agreement drawn up by the said service. We used Sussex Mediation Services but I'm not sure if they are still going. I believe Relate can offer the service though.

My advice before you either go to mediation, or indeed a solicitor, is sit down quietly by yourself and write down what you would like the outcome to be. Don't agree to anything 'off the cuff' or in the heat of the moment. Easy for me to say now but not so easy to do while you go through the process.

Finally, once you've agreed to what is happening, don't use a solicitor to file for divorce, it's a very easy process that you can do at a fraction of the cost.

PS - remember, regardless of what has got you to this situation all the law is interested in is that the split is fair and equal on both parties. Don't go giving something away because you feel guilty. Good luck and PM me if you would like further advice / someone to bounce ideas off.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Morning all

Can anyone recommend a decent divorce solicitor?

I know there have been plenty of threads on here in the past with people going through similar stuff, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, particularly as I've suffered from a real lack of support from some of my closest family. I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but it's amazing how oblivious others can be to the things that go on behind closed doors.

Never the less, it's been a little while now and my ex appears to want to sort things out amicably and 'without resorting to solicitors' - so I'm looking for a solicitor who'll be able to give me advice in the background, make sure I'm not having the piss taken out of me (which is entirely possible given the history of my marriage) and then facilitate whatever needs doing to make it happen. We have children, but we're not arguing over them and for their sake I don't want things to get nasty while we work out what happens to the house and my (relatively small) financial assets.

I've never used any kind of legal service before apart from conveyancing, which I did online, so I'm pretty stumped about where to start, and there doesn't seem to be a 'Which' guide or tripadvisor for lawyers. I was also recently let down by someone from a well known local firm just at the point where I was about to start throwing money at him, so I'm slightly nervous about instructing someone who might be equally as unhelpful.

I'm the first person in my circle of friends and family to go through this, so I don't really have anyone to turn to... so please help me NSC!

Can sympathise ....and just a hint that things can be done civilised....I'm not actually divorced but separated for 5 plus years and the house finances have all been sorted and we remain friends...re children I guess it depends what age they are as to how difficult it becomes...mine are all grown up and havnt taken sides.....all the best ..and there is life after!

 

[GM98]

I went through it recently and realised very early on Solicitors will extend it as long as possible to gain as much money they can. With the help of the internet I managed with a little reading to do the whole thing myself. The best part was the ex wife using a barrister at ridiculous amounts she was paying, every time I went in to court the different judges seemed to be on my side and although not allowed to offer advice, they would ask questions like have you considered this or that. In the end I never paid anything to solicitors, so it can be done with a little work.

I did get some free help from a group of newly qualified solicitors from Sussex University. If you want their details or any help or advice pm me.

And this was a VERY terrible divorce. Don't be scared to do it yourself.

 

[father_and_son]

Edward Harte were very helpful based in Brighton. Anna Glenton was the lady I used

I also used Edward Harte, but the solicitor I used has since left them.

The best recommendation I felt came from people who had said "I came up against <insert name>, they ran rings around my solicitor" or something similar. Most of us have no clue which solicitors are good/bad, even if you get a settlement that seems good, a better solicitor may have done better.
[MENTION=1115]Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms[/MENTION] ... Possibly worth jumping straight into mediation. Cheaper than a solicitor, neutral to both and less confrontational than being caught discussing stuff with a solicitor.

 

[Lush]

PS - remember, regardless of what has got you to this situation all the law is interested in is that the split is fair and equal on both parties.

What the law is most interested in is as little disruption to the children's lives as possible. That may mean, for example, that someone has to continue to pay the mortgage on a family home.

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

Thanks to you all for your advice so far. I'd definitely like to keep the lawyers out of it if possible, so some of your comments are very reassuring, but there are definitely some details that I could use a bit of proper advice on. How do I get that without being encouraged to go down a more legalistic route? My ex is keen to avoid even paying for mediation, but I'm not sure how we move things from talking around the kitchen table to actually taking some action.

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

Very sorry to hear your news - good luck.

I don't know any lawyers in Brighton, but do know excellent divorce lawyers in both London and Cambridge, both of whom can take a brief to keep things fair and reasonable if that's what you want. They'd be fine dealing with you over the phone, but you may want face to face meetings... in which case less so.

Thanks for that. I do spend a fair bit of time in London so if you're able to PM me some details that'd be really helpful.

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

Good luck and PM me if you would like further advice / someone to bounce ideas off.

That's a really generous offer - thank you

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

I can't help, but just wanted to say good luck, hope you can get things sorted

This one really touched me. Thank you.

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

I did get some free help from a group of newly qualified solicitors from Sussex University. If you want their details or any help or advice pm me.

I'll definitely be getting in touch with you. I hope things are working out for you now...

 

[fanseagull]

Morning all

Can anyone recommend a decent divorce solicitor?

I know there have been plenty of threads on here in the past with people going through similar stuff, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone, particularly as I've suffered from a real lack of support from some of my closest family. I don't want to go into too much detail on here, but it's amazing how oblivious others can be to the things that go on behind closed doors.

Never the less, it's been a little while now and my ex appears to want to sort things out amicably and 'without resorting to solicitors' - so I'm looking for a solicitor who'll be able to give me advice in the background, make sure I'm not having the piss taken out of me (which is entirely possible given the history of my marriage) and then facilitate whatever needs doing to make it happen. We have children, but we're not arguing over them and for their sake I don't want things to get nasty while we work out what happens to the house and my (relatively small) financial assets.

I've never used any kind of legal service before apart from conveyancing, which I did online, so I'm pretty stumped about where to start, and there doesn't seem to be a 'Which' guide or tripadvisor for lawyers. I was also recently let down by someone from a well known local firm just at the point where I was about to start throwing money at him, so I'm slightly nervous about instructing someone who might be equally as unhelpful.

I'm the first person in my circle of friends and family to go through this, so I don't really have anyone to turn to... so please help me NSC!

Sorry, I haven't looked at the other posts. Avoid the expense of solicitors as much as possible....they are really expensive. Can you agree to appoint an intermediary?